President for life

Note to Kim, Vlad, Raoul, Xi and the rest of the authoritarian scum out there:
Mugabe didn’t make it, but I hope you guys do achieve that distinction… real soon.
_________
Cultural ref

Gorilla Guru (NorK fertilizer — not the propaganda kind)


archives

The prevalence of parasitic worms causing health problems in North Korea may be the result of a personal intervention by Kim Jong Un, who urged farmers to spread human excrement on their fields to fertilize crops.

The hermit nation’s leader issued an instruction to farmers in 2014 telling them to use human faeces with animal waste and organic compost on their fields. With a lack of livestock to provide animal fertilizer, agriculturists poured the human excrement, also known as “night soil”, on their fields.

Next thing you know, Kim’ll be importing human feces from Cuba and Venezuela.

The nutrition and widespread health problems that blight North Korea have been highlighted by one North Korean soldier who has recently defected to the south. The army sergeant was found to have dozens of flesh colored parasites in his digestive tract, one of which measured 10.6 inches in length.

The soldier, who has not been identified but is reportedly in his mid-20s, was flown to hospital on Monday after being shot several times while making his escape to South Korea. He was hit in the buttocks, his armpit the back of his shoulder and his knee as he was struck by a hail of bullets from his former North Korean comrades. [story]

What kind of ideology makes its soldiers shoot fellow soldiers in the back?
Okay, right, stupid question.

smoke poles

Reckon it depends on who’s smokin’ what
The new boogieman: suppressed muzzle-loaders


~ story ~

Wait, I thought the Second Amendment was meant to protect ancient firearm technologies.

archives

Evidently, now the issue is how quiet the weapon is, since you might be able to kill a person at a distance and escape undetected without an ATF tax stamp.

M’kay, let’s see what other ancient technologies might allow one to kill quietly at a distance


Yeah, it’s just part of a disingenuous attempt to stifle congressional action — the Hearing Protection Act — on making a sound suppressor as easy to buy as the gun it’s attached to, rather than as hard to buy as a machine gun.
I have a few suppressors; and, take it from me, they make range time a lot less flinchy and après-range time a lot less ear-ringy for everybody. (see: motor-vehicle muffler)

This looks like the thing. Drew458

Okay, new rule, everybody: “suppressor” sounds scawy and tactical, so from now on, they’re “gun mufflers” which are intended to protect children’s, women’s, and minorities’ hearing health, reduce environmental noise pollution, reduce stress on wildlife, and reduce male toxic testosterone levels. All new guns should come with mufflers as standard equipment, and new unmuffled guns should require a $200 tax stamp waiver from the ATF. In schools, thread-protectors should be demonstrated and handed out along with the condoms.

Also: if I can legally build an actual working deadly firearm receiver from an 80% kit or from scratch for my own use without the ATF’s blessing (and I have), why can’t I also build a nice, safe muffler without the ATF’s blessing?
See: oil-filter thread adapter which is a legal solvent trap until you shoot a hole in the end, whereupon it becomes an illegal suppressor, unless you have an ATF tax stamp for the adapter. (Yeah, I know, right?)

couldn’t resist


archives
_______
Story and first version of some of the jokes in the post below.

ThePeoplesCube wins!

Are you now, or have you ever been, a male?


~ story ~
_________
Cultural ref

archives
_______________
Previously on KisP
Previouslier on KisP
Previousliest on KisP

*bwahahahahaha*

(What? No, I don’t think it’s time for her to brag about throwin’ table lamps at Bill, yet.)

Okay, Behar, let’s hear how bad groping is.
Offhand, this looks a lot more like “enabling” than “protesting.”


_________
Cultural ref

(What? No, don’t get me wrong. I’m a fan of second base, a big fan; but a gentleman should respect a lady’s dignity and resist pawing her in public. That’s what back seats are for.)

Gorilla Guru (BS slogan of convenience)


archives
Yayyy! Picked up by Pookie’s Toons

(What? Well, yeah, I suppose The Left™ really had to protect deviants’ viability, as long as the Clinton’s were useful.)

it’s almost like a wedgie

At a news conference on Wednesday, three UCLA basketball players who were arrested in China for shoplifting expressed their gratitude to Trump for intervening on their behalf — efforts which included a personal appeal to China’s President, Xi Jinping.

“To President Trump and the United States government, thank you for taking the time to intervene on our behalf,” said Cody Riley, one of the three arrested players. “We really appreciate you helping us out.”

grab ‘em by the pussyenis

locker room gay bath house talk

George Takei once again took to social media amid an allegation that he sexually assaulted a former model and actor in the 1980s.

This time, Takei was responding to a Howard Stern interview in which the former “Star Trek” star joked about touching men.

“Many have raised concern over a back-and-forth between Howard Stern and myself, where we joked about me touching men during my ‘Star Trek’ days 50 years ago. Out of context, I agree that the joke was distasteful, and I’m very sorry he and I made fun out of a serious matter,”…

pussy hat pee-shirt!

previously

speaking of doomsday cults…

No, the other kind

This week, thousands of scientists issued a bleak and terrifying “second notice” to mankind about how we will destroy the planet unless we take “urgent” action. If this warning is as reliable as the first notice these scientists issued in 1992, we have nothing to worry about.

“Soon it will be too late to shift course away from our failing trajectory, and time is running out,” the scientists say. The article is meant to be an update on a 1992 notice — ominously titled “World Scientists’ Warning to Humanity” and signed by 1,700 leading scientists — that predicted environmental catastrophes to come if humans remained on the current course.

But the 1992 statement was wildly off the mark in its dire predictions.

“No more than one or a few decades remain,” the scientists warned 2-1/2 decades ago, “before the chance to avert the threats we now confront will be lost and the prospects for humanity immeasurably diminished.”

Turns out that the world didn’t make any “fundamental changes” those scientists said were so urgently needed. If anything, it went faster in the same direction.
[story with interesting stats about the 25yrs since the previous doomsday warning]

Linear thinking in a non-linear system is bound to fail, especially if one cannot control the dominant forcing functions and doesn’t really know what the math is inside the black box.

Nature’s chaotic contrariness, combined with mankind’s flexibility, adaptability, and creativity make the future unpredictable… very unpredictable.

Like all cults whose predictions have come and gone, they move the goalpost and declare,
“But this time, it’ll work!”


~ archives ~

(What? Sure, a marksman can improve his accuracy by correcting his sights, but only if the sights are the problem, and only if he knows what he’s doin’.)

A former United Nations climate czar now is laughing at the suggestion of a globally centralized planning structure to address “climate change.” Which is a little strange, since [she] was the one who made that proposal just a few years ago. [story]

(What? Well, I assuuume it’s still “death to America and the climate-denying infidels.”)

Trolls gonna Troll

dummies gonna dumb

Cards Against Humanity is still trolling, [They] are buying up acres of land along the U.S.-Mexico border and offering a small share of it in a holiday promotion. For just 15 bucks, people will get a piece of the land, and five or six other “America-saving” gifts for taking part in the promotion that will keep “their brand relevant” for another year. 

…over a hundred thousand shares have already been sold in a few hours. Yay, Capitalism?!

oooooo…. snark.

Here’s their official manifesto:

“Donald Trump is a preposterous golem who is afraid of Mexicans. He is so afraid that he wants to build a twenty-billion dollar wall that everyone knows will accomplish nothing. So we’ve purchased a plot of vacant land on the border and retained a law firm specializing in eminent domain to make it as time-consuming and expensive as possible for the wall to get built. On Day 1, all Cards Against Humanity Saves America recipients will get an illustrated map of the land, a certificate of our promise to fight the wall, some new cards, and a few other surprises.”

Nice reframe. …if one is completely bereft of the capacity of Reality Testing.

moar from their FAQ here

ARE THESE SURPRISES GOING TO EMBARRASS ME OR THE PERSON WHO’S GETTING THEM?
The surprises contain no sexual content, graphic violence, or footage of Donald Trump watching Russian prostitutes urinate on a bed Obama slept in. They do have some naughty words, though. 

IS CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY BEING POLITICALLY CORRECT NOW?
We’re just being regular correct.

In case you’re unfamiliar, here are the cards from the original game. One player reads the black card [at the bottom of the page] and the others choose one they think will match best [be funniest] from the white cards in their hands. It is hilarious and I’ve enjoyed playing with family in the late hours after T’giving or Xmas. Maybe not so much anymore now I know the company is made up of Ignoratti.