Open your eyes

A New Zealand man of Asian descent had his passport photograph rejected when facial recognition software mistakenly registered his eyes as being closed.

Richard Lee’s attempt to renew his passport was blocked after he submitted the picture to an online passport photo checker …. The automated system told [him] the photo was invalid because his eyes were closed, even though they were clearly open ….

It was a robot, no hard feelings.” [story]

(What? Nnnn, no. Don’t think it counts when a robot does it.)
Cultural ref
Please, no spoilers in the comments. Some of us haven’t finished Season 1, yet.
And, yes, when I finally finished laughin’, I was in tears.

a date that shall live

Seventy-five years ago.
Not much we can do, now, but honor the victims and the heroes of that day;
the Americans who toiled, fought, bled, and died as a result;
and their why.

You have to read the rag…

…to find out what’s in it
(unlike some editors I can think of).

I’m addin’ this to the file: Greatest Wedgies of 2016.

Okay, let’s debunk the “M” insult conspiracy theory right now:

Everybody Sing!!!

for our Lovely HeadMissy!

Happiest 29th Evah!!!

“Spankinz!” »

this and that’s why Trump won

today’s KisPhrase: ” Tucker Face “

T-T-T-T-Tucker face, T-T-Tucker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
T-T-T-Tucker face,T-T-Tucker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

Finish your assignment! »

hate mischief

…A 58-year-old South Jersey man has been arrested and charged with vandalizing several vehicles and homes in South Philadelphia on the day after the presidential election, police announced Thursday.

William Tucker, of the unit block of Hemmings Way in Lawnside, Camden County, has been arrested and charged in the early-morning Nov. 9 incidents on the 900 block of South Sixth Street, at the border of Bella Vista and Queen Village, police said.

On that morning, residents on the block awoke to find racist and pro-Trump graffiti spray painted on their storefronts, cars and homes.

One of the damaged cars was a white SUV that had “Trump Rules” and “Black Bitch” spray-painted across it in large black letters…

…Tucker was charged with four counts of criminal mischief

there’s a word for this

After a final farewell early in the week at Havana’s Revolutionary Square, the former president’s remains, placed in a small, glass-encased casket, began moving east in a cross-country cortege through towns, cities and listless countryside. The state called it “The Caravan of Liberty,” the same name the guerrillas called the journey they made from Santiago to Havana to topple the Batista regime in 1959.

It didn’t all go well despite the state’s attention to details: at one point, soldiers were forced to push the jeep towing the remains when it broke down

today’s caricature

Lib’s ascot owned
(Y’might wanna set yer coffee down for this’n.)

For the liberal elites, it’s come to this. We’ve been reduced to this. We are all Duncan Lloyd, an assistant city solicitor in Philadelphia. Lloyd was busted by surveillance cameras videoing a buddy spraying “Fuck Trump” on the side of a newly opened Fresh Grocer. Lloyd is pictured below in his civil disobedience uniform.

[substituted this video for the picture^]

Yes. That’s a man, wearing an ascot, holding a glass of wine, who tagged an upscale supermarket.

When Duncan Lloyd vandalizes your city, it’s part of his larger campaign of finding a way to crawl out from under his covers in the morning. Look at him. LOOK AT HIM. He’s not out here trying to send the children of Trump supporters back to Mexico. He’s not trying to destroy the climate so Jesus can Rapture him to Graceland. He just wants to be able to look his cats in the eye without feeling ineffectual and ashamed. “I made a statement today, Odysseus and Penelope. I’m not going to let this be normalized.”

[Go RTWT, it's short, srsly, go…]

Dang, but I wish I could write creative sarc like that.

(What? Ohhh, I prob’ly would’a gone with a nice Burgundy, I suppose. You know, to match my ascot.)

Aaand then there are these kinds of jackasses, none of whom, I assume, are from California.

The Remnant

How long do you think you’d have to hike outside Chappaqua before you bumped into Hillary Clinton?

Finish your assignment! »

Finish your assignment! »

Finish your assignment! »