Mrs Grundy to the White Courtesy Telephone, Please

butt out

The Heart Attack Grill [6185 W Chandler Blvd, Chandler AZ] is in the nooz.

A 575-pound man who gained a measure of fame as spokesman for the Heart Attack Grill … has died. … The 6-foot-8 River was an Arizona state heavyweight wrestling champion in 1999.

he died Tuesday, possibly from contracting pneumonia after a bout with the flu.

aaaand in 3… 2… 1…

The whole macabre tale begs the question: Is there a limit to how disgustingly fattening restaurant foods can be?

If you’re so “disgusted” why would this be a problem for you? Would you eat there? No?

Should the Food and Drug Administration, state health regulators, Michelle Obama step in to shut places down that really and truly raise our heart attack risk every time we eat?

How sick are you?!? A burger and fries “threatens your health” every time you eat it?!? And how stupid ignorant in the dark with a bag over your head?!? Do you not know that people eat foods like this? Regularly. With no ill effects. Are you aware that even some of your oh, so enlightened friends sometimes sneak away from you and eat food like this? Look! Still alive!

But, since this is your supporting “argument,” you actually are this dumb cowed:

After all, New York City has banned smoking in pretty much all public places since the Surgeon General reported that even being exposed to just one cigarette can cause irreversible lung damage.

rly? Citation please.

Heart Attack Grill — thankfully not a nationwide franchise — …

“Thankfully”?!? piffle. Actually, there’s one in Dallas, too. I wish they’d come here. I wish I’d known when I was somewhat near there last week. I’d have made a day trip just to lunch pig out. And live.

Heart Attack Grill — thankfully not a nationwide franchise — is a hospital themed restaurant where waitresses dress as nurses, take orders on prescription pads, and wrap tags around patients’, ahem, patrons’ wrists showing which foods they ordered. The restaurant certainly can’t be accused of false advertising with its “flatliner fries” made with pure lard or its jolt soda packed with caffeine and sugar. …

It’s all fun and games until someone loses a life.

Ohforcrapsake, Miss Priss!

Is your life so perfectly in apple pie raw apple yoghurt order that you feel the right to withhold the freedom to choose what to eat to thousands — nay millions — of other human beings?

Or are you just calling on other people to grasp invent the “right” to tell other people what they may choose to eat?

What’s next? Sumptuary Laws?

goldstar.jpg to Justin Credible for doing the work the Boston GlobeBlog couldn’t be bothered to do: a citation for her “supporting argument.”

[From WIVB.com] Thursday, 09 Dec 2010, 12:31 PM EST

BUFFALO, N.Y. (WIVB) – You only need to smoke one cigarette for the habit to turn fatal.

That’s the headline in the new tobacco report out Thursday by the US Surgeon General.

Regina Benjamin says just one cigarette can cause a heart attack, and that even occasional smoking or secondhand smoke exposure can damage DNA and lead to cancer.

Now … If that report were true, wouldn’t every health activist — not to mention any and all *legitimate* health care professionals — be screaming to make the stuff illegal?

Yet all I hear is *crickets*
Oh yeah — and millions of live people saying, “Hey – got a light?”

*facepalm*

23 Comments!

  1. iD
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 11:40 am |

    I wish Epic Meal Time would open a restaurant.

  2. Justin Credible
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 12:05 pm |

    Two things – first, This question:

    Are you aware that even some of your oh, so enlightened friends sometimes sneak away from you and eat food like this?

    Brought to mind this blast from the past:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xH9u35cK4iQ

    Meanwhile, in other news from Chandler AZ:

    Beheading in Chandler tied to drug cartels.

    Chandler is north of Obama’s warning signs, I believe.

  3. mech
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 12:20 pm |

    I don’t remember diet being a direct contributing factor to flu and pneumonia.

    Would they be serving the same whine if he had died after being hit by a bus?

  4. Melissa In Texas
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 12:39 pm |

    Hey Boston….
    How ’bout:
    It’s none of yer damned business?

  5. Kristopher
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 12:45 pm |

    Dietary fat does not contribute to high cholesterol levels. It gets digested in the same body cycle that processes protein.

    If you want a low number, limit your carbohydrate intake.

    The most dangerous item in that meal is the bun, and the side of fries. But mostly the fries.

    If you want to eat healthy at a burger joint, order a diet drink and hold the fries. Simple.

  6. Alan outback bacon czar
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 12:52 pm |

    I don’t go to burger joints for healthy food.

  7. John A
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 1:07 pm |

    Oversimplification of health problems has been with us a long time. And since the late 19th Century weight/size has been one of the more easily and widely attacked, being even more noticeable by the average person than alcohol or tobacco. To the extent that yes, had he been struck by a vehicle while crossing the street there would have been those saying he was too fat to jump out of the way and thus what they think of as “bad” foods should be outlawed, to be followed by “bad” amounts of food.

    So pervasive has been the “black” propoganda that even doctors do not bother to think, only react. I am fat – have been for over sixty years. But whenever I encounter a doctor who says “You are fat, you must be eating too much” I ask a question none has ever been able to answer: if that is true, why have I not gained weight for decades?

  8. Posted March 8, 2011 at 1:08 pm |

    Ditto… I avoid the McKing type of places as a rule… I do enjoy a good dry rubbed steak often though!

  9. AZHolmes
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 1:35 pm |

    Heart Attack Grill isn’t bad. Haven’t been there in years. Has an ambulance out front. It’s located in an old Burger King I used to frequent. Every burger (1/2 to 2 pounds of beef) comes with all the fries you can eat, but a max of 3 beers then they boot ya.

    I still prefer In ‘n’ Out.

  10. Posted March 8, 2011 at 1:40 pm |

    She needs the proverbial,” Nice hot cup of Shut the Hell up”.

  11. SherryM
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 1:54 pm |

    I do not eat fast food but I will be damned if I will let someone tell Me what I can and can not eat.. A deal is in order “we” will stop eating it if they stop breathing.

  12. Clinically Insane
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 2:34 pm |

    This country is being destroyed by mentally ill people who are obsessed with the concept that they can force Utopia on the rest of us.

    The cancer needs to be burned out.

  13. apotheosis
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 2:36 pm |

    Y’know, I heard that alcohol sometimes makes men beat their wives, and since very few men’s wives are Nancy Pelosi, most of them probably don’t deserve it.

  14. accipiter NW
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 3:20 pm |

    Pneumonia? Has nothing to do with the dose of global warming the Southwest was hit with last week does it?

  15. AZHolmes
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 3:26 pm |

    I’ve spent the last coupla hours trying to remember who had a gun to my head when I went to the Heart Attack Grill. For the life of me I just can’t remember. Had to be somebody, though, right?

  16. DougM
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 4:47 pm |

    It is imperfect.
    Must ster-il-ize!

    Cultural ref: Nomad in Star Trek

  17. Clinically Insane
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 5:35 pm |

    Doug: reminds me a lot of the mindset held by the Alliance in the movie Serenity.

    The idea that you can make people perfect.

  18. Melissa In Texas
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 6:33 pm |

    Well, I just ate a club sandwich with smoked brisket, smoked ham, smoked turkey and jalapenos and some killer brew fries.
    I ain’t dead yet!

  19. ZZMike
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 7:09 pm |

    Well, that’s Boston for you. The Holy City of the nattering nannies.

    Clearly, we don’t need to ban non-vegan restaurants from the national scene. There’s a much fairer way to handle the problem (which is, people just aren’t educated enough to make their own choices about anything).

    We’ll give you (for a small fee, of course, to help fund our Program for a Better America) a license to eat. The license would come in several grades (we think we’ll call them “flavors”), each higher grade allowing you to eat at a more unhealthful establishment. With the lowest grade, you could go to McDonalds or Burger King.

    The Heart Attack Grill would require a double-A license with a carbohydate rider.

  20. Claire, Ideologically Stubborn Heatist Ruralite
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 9:33 pm |

    dangit! shhhhhh, ZZMike! They’ll hear you.

  21. accipiter NW
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 10:23 pm |

    just one cigarette can cause a heart attack

    What about the mercury in one broken CFL bulb? Dang, I dropped one last week and now I think I’m coming down with Mad-Curly Bulb disease.

  22. SherryM
    Posted March 8, 2011 at 10:33 pm |

    “Now … If that report were true, wouldn’t every health activist — not to mention any and all *legitimate* health care professionals — be screaming to make the stuff illegal?

    Yet all I hear is *crickets*
    Oh yeah — and millions of live people saying, “Hey – got a light?”

    I wold add that if half of the things they said was true everyone would have cancer or be dead from it including them.

  23. geezerette
    Posted March 9, 2011 at 7:16 am |

    Is pot considered to be tobacco? Like in one hit could kill you?