put me in the “hater” column, slick

Doug Hutchison, a character actor best known for roles in The Green Mile, Lost and The X-Files, married aspiring country singer Courtney Alexis Stodden on May 20 in Las Vegas.

He is 51. She is 16.

Editorial note: I may have added a little bit of emphasis there.

Once upon a time, this sort of thing was probably commonplace. In some cultures, it still is. In most of these, women are seen as little more than chattel, property to be bartered for profit or status. The women generally don’t have much say in the matter.

There’s a reason why modern westerners are so frequently skeeved out by the idea of such a vast age difference, and it has little or nothing to do with whatever latent moral gag reflex might still exist from our puritanical past. There’s simply a perceived imbalance of power in such a relationship; when there’s a vastly larger amount of experience on one side, the sense that the other side is (or will be) taken advantage of becomes overwhelming. This is why we’re reflexively disgusted by pedophiles: no matter their protestations of “true love”, a child simply cannot be said to give informed consent, because they don’t have any proper understanding of consequences.

Now, I grant you that for better or worse, the average 16-year-old is probably better informed about the ins and outs (ahem) of adult relations in this day and age than the average 25-year-old in mine, but that’s not the end of the story; there’s also reason. The ability to make a decision based on logic as well as emotion. Did anyone here NOT reflexively make shitty choices when they were a hyper-hormonal teenager? Did every decision, big or small, not seem earth-shatteringly immediate?

And let’s put aside for a minute that a 16-year-old child’s decision making skills are still underdeveloped, a fact acknowledged by both law and common fucking sense, and look at the parents who presumably had to consent to this. We can assume they’re more than happy to hitch their beauty queen/country singer/meal wagon to some b-list actor’s horse, but speaking as a father of a daughter roughly the same age, I can’t help but wonder at their thought process: as the legal guardians responsible for helping this kid make the right choices, are they actually thinking long-term? They’ve clearly been grooming her for fame from a young age, which isn’t necessarily evil if handled well, but how can they possibly think this will end well? How can a father – probably the same age as his newly-minted son-in-law, possibly even younger – NOT question the motives of a guy who could potentially be cruising the parking lot at high school proms for dating material?

I’d normally wrap this up by asking some rhetorical question like “am I the bad guy here? Am I wrong?” But in this case, I don’t give a damn. Odds are heavy that is doomed to failure, and that kid’s going to be screwed up as a result of the dumb decisions made for her by people who look at her and see nothing but dollar signs or a perky ass.



  1. dick not quite dead white guy
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 5:54 am |

    She looks like a well-worn 35 years old, not 16. I thing the figure ’16′ was referring to her parents’ IQ.
    She was also a ‘teen beauty queen’. Parents who send their teen age and younger children to those meat markets are living vicariously through their children or are looking for income from their children, and need to be horse-whipped IMHO.

  2. LostLiberty
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 6:15 am |

    Perhaps being as well a playing a sleezoid comes naturally…

  3. apotheosis
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 6:24 am |

    Question: what social situation puts these two people in close enough proximity to get to know each other that well?

    Just wondering how they came to run in the same circles.

  4. bocopro
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 7:21 am |

    Must be somethin wrong with me. This is much closer to my concept of a beautiful woman, and good companionship, too:


    If she MUST be a younger woman, tho, my standards for feminine female beauty are anchored in SouthEast Asia. Skin tone is immaterial; dark is good, light is good, halo-halo is really good.

  5. Posted June 21, 2011 at 7:23 am |

    On the plus side, she’ll be a good-looking grandmother when she’s 33.

  6. Posted June 21, 2011 at 7:30 am |

    He played the skeevy prison guard who stepped on Mr. Jingles, right? Eeeeesh. It figures that the one of those guys who does this played the big creep in that movie. You wouldn’t see Barry Pepper or David Morse pulling this crap.

  7. Jay
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 7:32 am |

    Clear violation of the “Half-age-Plus-Seven” Rule.

  8. Jay
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 7:36 am |

    I can never seem to get a pic to load
    in here…


  9. trace
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 8:56 am |

    I am a father of a 17 year old daughter, and never in a million years, but beyond that, that girl looks twice as old as my daughter………

  10. PeggyU
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 9:10 am |

    Our daughter is 24, and that girl looks older than her. Must be living the Lohan lifestyle or something.

  11. Alan outback bacon czar
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 9:15 am |

    So when she hits her sexual peak in about 20 years, he’ll be slightly past his at 71.

  12. Bruce
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 10:03 am |

    Just be thankful it isn’t his daughter …

  13. Posted June 21, 2011 at 10:08 am |

    I second Dick’s horsewhip opinion. I’m in a bad mood anyways. My Dad the ‘Sar Major passed this morning.

    AND…it’s my lovely *not THAT young* wife’s Birfday.

    How the hell do you juxtapose those two? Eff.

  14. DougM (jackassophobe)
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 10:27 am |

    He’ll be dead in 10 years, whereupon she’ll inherit enough to support her next four no-account drunkard/gambler/philanderer husbands. All will die under suspicious circumstances.

  15. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 10:34 am |

    Forgit fucking calender birthday notations. My question, looking at that pitcher: “Who is older and who is younger?” The short one on the left is subconsciously laying his head on either *mommy`s tits*, or *funbags* or Both!!!

    The “dreamy look” on his face? I have seen it before; ALL were Summa Cum Laude graduates of “Helen Keller`s Technology Institute.” They are famous for retaining *security guard(s)* for use at any moment Hubbie is outside hearing or seeing range of this Arm Candy. Never contemplating that the first & many extramarital fuckings by his wife are sexual congress`s with the guards?!?!

    Nor do these graduates ever strap arm candy to a polygraph and ask the yes or
    no question, “Would you marry this man if he were the janitor of 5 separate IN n OUT Burger franchises?”

  16. Posted June 21, 2011 at 10:37 am |

    She’s 16? I’d have said mid-20′s from the pic. Damn.

  17. apotheosis
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 10:57 am |

    Shame on you, Colonel Jerry, castin’ aspersions on true love like that.

    Hell, things worked out pretty good for Anna Nicole Smith, right?

  18. joe
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 12:14 pm |

    Wolf, sorry for your loss. Doubly sorry that it happened on your wife’s birthday.

  19. vonster
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 12:31 pm |

    Old enough to go to the store, old enough to get bread….

  20. SondraK, naughty naughty bad wingnut
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 12:44 pm |

    This is not in defense of ANY of this however….at least she doesn’t LOOK 16.

  21. DougM (jackassophobe)
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 12:52 pm |

    Could’a been worse.
    Could’a been thirteen.
    But then, it’d be okay if he were Mohammed.

  22. apotheosis
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 1:04 pm |

    at least she doesn’t LOOK 16.

    Well of course not, mommy and daddy been primping (note the “R” please, this is a quality establishment!) her since she was JonBenet Ramsey age.

  23. PeggyU
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 1:14 pm |

    Wolf – I am sorry to read that! You can’t juxtapose those, I don’t think. So you postpone the birthday observation, because your wife will most certainly understand. She is probably not in a cake-and-party-hats mood either!

    Around here, we have what is known as the “birthday season”, which can run a month before to a month after the actual birthday. Since things crop up that you can’t plan for, it helps to give yourself some latitude.

  24. Posted June 21, 2011 at 2:40 pm |

    Considering this still from one of her music videos, I agree that the difference in ages is godawful…but at least his tastes don’t run to pedophilia.

  25. Cheesy
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 2:55 pm |

    Condolences, Wolff.

  26. dick not quite dead white guy
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 4:53 pm |

    Tough day, sad news Wollf. There’s no easy way to deal with that kind of hurt. I’m sorry for your loss.

    Stilton, the gal in that pic is well on her way to slutdom.
    If she pulls her shoulders back any more to make her tits stick out, her spine will crack. Do you suppose her ‘loving’ parents have installed a strap to cinch her shoulder blades together and ease the muscle requirements? Maybe they broke her cherry too in a nice family threesome. That way casting couch calls will be easier.

  27. Posted June 21, 2011 at 5:01 pm |

    Hmm. Some d-bag tries a game like that with my granddaughter, he’ll be meeting Grandad and around 30 of her ‘Great-Uncles’ in due course. I’m not baggin on age-different relationships – my wife of almost 20 years is 8 1/2 years younger than me – but she was 26 when she married me! (I started dating her when she was 25, alright? Some still questioned her common sense, heh)

  28. geezerette
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 5:40 pm |

    One soul sold to the highest bidder—
    Condolences to you and your family Wollf–

  29. Henri Claude
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 5:52 pm |

    ………the girl could have done much better than the sleazy slimy bag of shit she married……

  30. Posted June 21, 2011 at 7:17 pm |

    @Wollf- I missed the really important part of your message earlier, and now feel like a damn fool for posting pin-up shots of young bimbos. I’m so sorry for your loss…I lost my own Dad 5 years ago, and my Mom last year, and I still don’t know what to do with myself. Funny how old you can get and still feel like an orphan.

    I’ve found friendships to be what I value most as I heal, including the ones I’ve developed here at Sondrakistan. I hope the same will be true for you. My thoughts are very much with you and your family.

  31. accipiter NW
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 8:19 pm |

    Wolf, sorry to hear about the “Sar Major’s” passing. I think you mentioned him being very sick several weeks ago. Godspeed.

    I was trying (struggling) to remember a movie scene a couple months back thinking about some of the Obot voters and how watching his presidency play out could very well have us saying:
    “You watch! You son of a bitch!”- as a horror unfolds somewhere….

    It was “Del’s botched execution scene” in “The Green Mile”. If you recall, Hutchinson’s character doesn’t wet the sponge for Del before the execution- maybe he was particular about who was wet sponge “anoint” worthy. Now I don’t know about the politics of Mr. Hutchinson, but his character will always remind me of many Obama voters who so blindly promote(d) such an unknown character because he talked way above his pay grade and wasn’t an old white dude.

    So if we survive this precedent, it’ll be because somewhere we had a big enough fire extinguisher when the flames exploded.

  32. Posted June 21, 2011 at 8:36 pm |

    Thanks to all for the support, I’ll be posting at my place in a few days about the Sar’Major and the rest of our Brothers. Birfday was good….I had been dealing with my loss fairly well until I told Karla…… Great woman, cried loudly……. then, well, I was able to do the same, know what I mean?

    Semper Fi!!

  33. apotheosis
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 8:45 pm |

    My condolences, Wollf. And sorry I overlooked your message ’till I went back and saw everyone else’s.

  34. Slobyskya Rotchikokov
    Posted June 21, 2011 at 9:34 pm |

    Wolff – please accept heartfelt condolences on your loss; it seems to me perhaps even bittersweet that on the day that you mourn a deep loss, that same day marks the day that a great joy for you was born. Perhaps I just seek to much to see a balance in the strangeness of life, but thoughts and prayers with you all.

    And by the way – concerning the undeniably beautiful young thing in the photograph, perhaps she is not the one mentioned in the article; she is at least 25 to 28 years old. The facial structure and shape of the chin and forehead are not finally resolved into the mature form at the age of 16 or even 18 or 19. In men, for most part, between 19 and 25, in women most often 20 to 25 unless illness or anorexia. It is how posters imagery of missing people were projected by artists from pictures in teen years, back before computers were much advanced as now.

  35. bigviking
    Posted June 22, 2011 at 4:50 am |

    Wolf, I lost my own “Sar Major” in 1990. My mom in 1986. I grieve at your loss as I can understand how special these men/Marines/ fathers are. With all of them in heaven, we are going to have to do a shitload of push-ups when we finally get there. Ooh-Rah to you for standing tall up and letting you wife have her Birthday Then she could help you through. That’s why God calls them help mates.
    Days ahead will be tough, but you will get through. Please know that all of ROMEO stands with you.
    Semper Fi!!