bassturd’s gonna put The Onion outta business
Coming to your industry soon!
President Obama’s Agriculture Department today announced that it will impose a new 15-cent charge on all fresh Christmas trees—the Christmas Tree Tax
to support a new Federal program to improve the image and marketing of Christmas trees.
That is solely the business — and business — of the Christmas Tree industry. Lots of commodities have self-imposed fees that thy use for research on improving their product and marketing. See: CA Beef Council.
Whatinhell is the Fedz doing?
In the Federal Register of November 8, 2011, Acting Administrator of Agricultural Marketing David R. Shipman announced that the Secretary of Agriculture will appoint a Christmas Tree Promotion Board.
Not growers. Not wolesalers. Not retailers. A Board Appointed by the Federal Gubbmint. Whatcha wanna bet the salaries are nice and cushy, the duties fleeting, and the perks golden? And the members’ packet will include a basics tutorial: “pointy end up!”
Does this industry even want or need such a thing? I’m guessing not. Or they would have done it. Oh, wait: they DID. ‘Course that took 0.15 seconds to ‘research’, so….
The National Christmas Tree Association “has sent 17,000 Real Christmas Trees to 60 or more military bases throughout the U.S. and overseas.” [and they have a whole marketing section, a convention, a teachers' section, and everything. amazing.] They even have a sense of humor.
The purpose of the Board is to run a “program of promotion, research, evaluation, and information designed to strengthen the Christmas tree industry’s position in the marketplace;
As opposed to their prime competitor: the Chanukah Bush
maintain and expend existing markets for Christmas trees;
“How do we sell more o’ these things to Buddhists?”
and to carry out programs, plans, and projects designed to provide maximum benefits to the Christmas tree industry”
“We’re from the Gubbmint and we’re here to help!”
And the program of “information” is to include efforts to “enhance the image of Christmas trees and the Christmas tree industry in the United States”
Cuz everybody hates a Christmas Tree.
To pay for the new Federal Christmas tree image improvement and marketing program, the Department of Agriculture imposed a 15-cent fee on all sales of fresh Christmas trees by sellers of more than 500 trees per year
Guess who’s paying for this Board to butt in on the business of growing and selling Christmas Trees. And how long is it gonna remain 15¢?