and a pony!

Forum Post: Proposed list of OWS Demands

Repeal the Taft-Hartley Act. Unionize ALL workers immediately.

Raise the minimum wage immediately to $18/hr. Create a maximum wage of $90/hr to eliminate inequality.

Institute a 6 hour workday, and 6 weeks of paid vacation.

Institute a moratorium on all foreclosures and layoffs immediately.

Repeal racist and xenophobic English-only laws.

Open the borders to all immigrants, legal or illegal. Offer immediate, unconditional amnesty, to all undocumented residents of the US.

Create a single-payer, universal health care system.

Pass stricter campaign finance reform laws. Ban all private donations. All campaigns will receive equal funding, provided by the taxpayers.

Institute a negative income tax, and tax the very rich at rates up to 90%.

Pass far stricter environmental protection and animal rights laws.

Allow workers to elect their supervisors.

Lower the retirement age to 55. Increase Social Security benefits.

Create a 5% annual wealth tax for the very rich.

Ban the private ownership of land.

Make homeschooling illegal. Religious fanatics use it to feed their children propaganda.

Reduce the age of majority to 16.

Abolish the death penalty and life in prison. We call for the immediate release of all death row inmates from death row and transferred to regular prisons.

Release all political prisoners immediately.

Immediate withdrawal from Iraq and Afghanistan.

Abolish the debt limit.

Ban private gun ownership.

Strengthen the separation of church and state.

Immediate debt forgiveness for all.

End the ‘War on Drugs’.

24 Comments!

  1. Posted November 14, 2011 at 8:05 pm |

    Got a better, cheaper idea: Buy them all one-way tickets to either Athens or Paris – I mean, they WANT the US to become Greece or France…

  2. Hopefulone
    Posted November 14, 2011 at 8:11 pm |

    They want the US to be rural China. Their dreamland. Send them there instead of bringing it here.

    Remember, Obama sides with them…

  3. Fr. Erik J. Richtsteig
    Posted November 14, 2011 at 8:26 pm |

    Stock up on ammo folks.

  4. Posted November 14, 2011 at 8:43 pm |

    Makes me think of the book “Clump: An American Splatire” in which the government tries to gain favor with angry voters by guaranteeing:

    1) 100% free health care, including liposuction, Viagra, and breast implants.
    2) College degrees will be issued without the requirement of attending college.
    3) All existing debts will be cancelled; nobody owes anything to anybody.
    4) Unemployment benefits will be permanent, and twice the minimum wage.
    5) All cars will get 100 miles per gallon, and their exhaust will be pure oxygen with a “fresh pine” scent.
    6) All restaurant food items will be on the 99¢ value menu.
    7) Fitness guidelines will be revised so that every American meets the federal definition of “hot.”
    8) 50 “bonus points” will be added to the IQ score of every American.
    9) There will be no more taxes of any kind, except on the Evil Rich.
    10) Everyone will go to Heaven.

  5. Posted November 14, 2011 at 8:46 pm |

    They tried something similar about 100 years ago in Russia. Considering the outcome, the cheapest, and simplest, solution is to take the protesters to a small remote island, give them a few machettes and allow them to start their utopia without any interference.

  6. Justin Credible
    Posted November 14, 2011 at 8:46 pm |

    Wut, they dropped the demand that credit reporting agencies be abolished?

  7. Freddie Sykes #OccupyAquaVerde
    Posted November 14, 2011 at 9:00 pm |

    Lyle and Tector are gonna have some pretty strong things to say if they try to implement that shit in Aqua Verde.

  8. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted November 14, 2011 at 9:01 pm |

    DREAM THE FUCK ON TEENAGE QUEENS! Tell you what, you go to Parris Island and I`ll see you are paid $100 dollars a fucking hour, if you make it through. Afterwards You will be sent to MIT to study for a PhD in Civil Engineering. For Free! But if you get any grade below a C, you will have to become a stockboy at a Seven-Eleven & your salary will be 2 free meals per day from gardens that you must plant and tend. If you are a victim of a robbery, the police will bill you a flat fee of $100 dollars which you must produce when they arrive before they will ensure your safety. If you do not sign a contract to this effect you will be taken to Madagascar and left with one seabag of your personal effects and dropped on the beach. You may choose one person to join you. In 25 years you may ask to be accepted as a citizen of any nation, except America.
    For your information, North Korea has agreed to favorably review your request for citizenship.

    But, you must provide your own tent……

  9. Lance
    Posted November 14, 2011 at 9:03 pm |

    This is a very informative & well thought out list!
    Tells me what they’re really about & the kind of
    society they want. Wonder where they learned
    all that brilliant social planning & organization.
    I’m amazed at how they have the answers to all of
    society’s needs, functioning & organization.

    I think we should accommodate their every wish,
    but someplace where they can start from scratch
    & build the kind of villages or cities they want!
    Also, they won’t have to put up with all us 1%ers.

    Howza ’bout we put a big fence around Detroit &
    send them there? Nah, too close! Maybe Pooty-Poot
    would let them have a big chunk of uninhabited
    Siberia.

  10. Posted November 14, 2011 at 9:15 pm |

    Well, I agree with one of those things. That’s something… possibly bad for me.

  11. SherryM
    Posted November 14, 2011 at 9:32 pm |

    There needs to be a 10,000 acre area fenced off with a 30 foot high concrete wall toped with razor and motion activated machine guns. Throe them all in and once a week air drop in one 50lbs bag of dry dog food.

  12. Buzz
    Posted November 14, 2011 at 10:08 pm |

    “That” wing of society cracks me up every time.
    By and large, overwhelming support for abortion on demand, at any time, for any reason…….yet vocal, often violent, proponents of animals rights, often displacing or severely inconveniencing humans in the process.

    I have your solution to abortion, animal rights, AND global warming, morons: Go feed yourselves to polar bears.

  13. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted November 14, 2011 at 10:50 pm |

    They just wrote the Constitution for Utopian Hell.
    I agree with many of y’all’s suggestion to give them a chunk of land and minimal posessions where they can try their ideas for real.
    Of course there will be conditions:
    No return.
    No help, no handouts, no bailouts.
    All filmed for reality TV.
    I don’t like reality TV, but I’d watch that show. The various Occupy locales are indicative of what their situation would be like after a few weeks. Yeah, that would be a good show. After four weeks, they’d be eating their dead. I’d even gloat a little.

  14. Posted November 15, 2011 at 12:01 am |

    This was just one retard proposing a list of demands.

    It looks like most of his own side thinks he’s lost it. They may be socialist scum, but most of them know exactly how far this little list will fly.

    Trying to take homes and guns from people in this country will result in a short but very bloody civil war.

  15. Posted November 15, 2011 at 2:12 am |

    No pony, didn’t you see # 10 ?

  16. Paul Moore
    Posted November 15, 2011 at 2:36 am |

    I was halfway down the list before I realized it wasn’t a parody.

  17. bocopro
    Posted November 15, 2011 at 4:47 am |

    Walking towards Utopia involves a steadily upward-inclining bridge which disappears into the haze of distance, a steadily upward rise in the poverty rate, a steadily upward pitch of male voices, a steadily upward rise in lawlessness, a steadily upward rise in taxes, a steadily upward rise in homelessness, a steadily upward rise in hunger, and a steadily upward rise in madness.

    How-some-ever, without the dreamers, we’d still be living in primitive villages sucking the marrow out of bones and fighting over rotten potatoes. The problem with those dreamers is that they eventually enter that alternate state of reality in which free food falls from the sky, free clothing miraculously appears on shrubberies, nobody ever gets sick, and the guys on the other side of the fence never see any reason to come over and kick their asses.

  18. Claire: barbarian, etc
    Posted November 15, 2011 at 7:55 am |

    Of course Obama sides with them. That’s the UN demand list … to create an easily conquerable governable state wasteland area.

    Ban the private ownership of land. Agenda21
    Ban private gun ownership. Agenda21
    Pass far stricter environmental protection and animal rights laws. Agenda21
    [rights for animals! NO rights for humans!!]

    Raise the minimum wage immediately to $18/hr. Create a maximum wage of $90/hr to eliminate inequality.
    *cough*$18 ≠ $90*cough*

  19. DougM (jackassophobe)
    Posted November 15, 2011 at 8:49 am |

    Jess (5)
    Good idea, but I think they should just have a wifi hookup,
    so they can look up how to find iron ore, mine it, smelt it, form it into blades, etc.
    (What? Yeah, or how to find flint or obsidian.)
    … all before the battery discharges.
    You’ll love the ending to Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six.

    ColJ (8)
    Y’mean like survival school or ejecting over enemy territory?

    Actually, I hope they get somebody to put that into a draft constitutional amendment, so it can be xeroxed, rolled up, and jammed up the ani of every flaming progressive in this country.

  20. Lance
    Posted November 15, 2011 at 8:58 am |

    Tanks, Claire, for ur comment!
    You made me realize that I reelee need to add Agenda 21
    to my re-education project. Also need to include the rest
    of the UN, eg. the IPCC. I’m starting to realize some of the
    inroads the UN has made into our lives & coutry during my
    lifetime. Plus becoming the one world Sharia gubbmint.

  21. ZZMike
    Posted November 15, 2011 at 1:02 pm |

    Claire: “: “*cough*$18 ≠ $90*cough*”

    I almost missed that one, too. They want a MAX of $90, MIN of $18.

    I’m sure those numbers were very carefully thought out, with proper attention being given to micro- and macro-economic concerns, including foreign markets.

    If they had any sense, they’d split the difference and say “everybody gets $49/hr, no matter who or what”.

    I mean, like, if you’re getting $90 and I’m only getting $18, you’re one of the fat cats. (Notice I said “gets”, not “earns”.)

    They seem to have left out “Free Starbucks for everybody”.

  22. DougM (jackassophobe)
    Posted November 15, 2011 at 5:58 pm |

    … and all the children are above average.

  23. Lance
    Posted November 15, 2011 at 10:16 pm |

    I went back to the post linky & read a buncha comments!
    Sure different than what the libtards & LSM are saying
    ’bout the OWS herd! I can’t help but think of all the
    politicos & local gummint idjits that have publically
    supported OWS, including Obambam, Pelopsi, etc.

  24. Posted November 16, 2011 at 1:53 pm |

    I will agree to consider these demands…

    …at the precise moment any occupy(fill in the location) group, anywhere, shows any basic competence in running that location.

    Otherwise? Downtwinkles.