today’s wedgie

Dear President Obama,

You don’t know my telephone number, but I hope your staff is busy trying to find it. Ever since you called Sandra Fluke after Rush Limbaugh called her a slut, I figured I might be next. You explained to reporters you called her because you were thinking of your two daughters, Malia and Sasha. After all, you didn’t want them to think it was okay for men to treat them that way:

“One of the things I want them to do as they get older is engage in issues they care about, even ones I may not agree with them on,” you said. “I want them to be able to speak their mind in a civil and thoughtful way. And I don’t want them attacked or called horrible names because they’re being good citizens.”

And I totally agree your kids should be able to speak their minds and engage the culture. I look forward to seeing what good things Malia and Sasha end up doing with their lives.

But here’s why I’m a little surprised my phone hasn’t rung. Your $1,000,000 donor Bill Maher has said reprehensible things about my family. He’s made fun of my brother because of his Down’s Syndrome. He’s said I was “f—-d so hard a baby fell out.” (In a classy move, he did this while his producers put up the cover of my book, which tells about the forgiveness and redemption I’ve found in God after my past – very public — mistakes.)

If Maher talked about Malia and Sasha that way, you’d return his dirty money and the Secret Service would probably have to restrain you. After all, I’ve always felt you understood my plight more than most because your mom was a teenager

Finish your assignment! »


  1. Freddie Sykes
    Posted March 19, 2012 at 7:34 am |

    “STFU, Bristol. You are not helping our agenda; you case is not consistent with our meme.” Malia’s and Sasha’s Daddy

    FYI: Please ignore the following
    The Left’s Long-Time War on Women

    Misogyny and male chauvinism run deep in the roots of the modern Left.

  2. PatrickP
    Posted March 19, 2012 at 7:54 am |

    L to the O to the L.

  3. DougM (jackassophobe)
    Posted March 19, 2012 at 8:10 am |

    Dyin’, here, boss (my heels are sore from the laugh-stompin’ fit).
    Dang, but that girl has growed up right nicely in the brain bin.

    Yes, a canary-feather-spitting Breitbartin’ of the first water.

    But a million bucks is a million bucks, and Democrats tend to stay bought.

  4. geezerette
    Posted March 19, 2012 at 8:39 am |

    I think that cat sees something rising from the ashes—do we dare think ????????

  5. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted March 19, 2012 at 11:53 am |

    Without her sending a donation, OBoBo will never see it………………………

  6. Lance
    Posted March 19, 2012 at 1:38 pm |

    DougM (3), what you said, dubbel!
    You said it much better than I could!
    That was more than just a ‘wej-jee!!

    Bristol sliced & diced him in such a nice ‘lady like’ way!
    This will confuse the MFM as to how to respond in their
    usual uncivilized spewing rhetoric without looking like
    complete a✻✻holes!
    Then she comments about his daughters that he’s
    been using for propaganda purposes & to make him look
    like a ‘good caring father’ etc.
    Then she nails Maher repeatedly & associates him
    with BamBam, then hooks the daughters back in!
    This is one of the best replys I’ve seen yet to the top of
    the garbage heap of leftists, etc. Go Bristol!

    Freddie Sykes (1), thanks for that
    link ’bout ‘the war on wimminz’! Gonna send it to some peeps.

  7. Posted March 19, 2012 at 4:20 pm |

    But a million bucks is a million bucks, and Democrats politicians tend to stay bought.