Brave Scary Noo World

I’m gettin’ too old for this shite

My pala told me yesterday that her new TV tells her who is on the fone when it rings. WTF?!? Then a voice repeats what is written on the screen. Whyinhell would I/anyone want that??!? I had that dang thing put in for my convenience: if I actually sit down to watch something on TV, I do NOT answer the fone. [unless it's MiL][which is what answerfones are for]

And now:

Nokia is proposing “a material attachable to skin, the material capable of detecting a magnetic field and transferring a perceivable stimulus to the skin, wherein the perceivable stimulus relates to the magnetic field.”

Or to put it another way, a vibrating tattoo.

…a future phone could emit a different magnetic field depending who is calling, or if your battery is running low, or you receive an SMS, for example.

… “ink enriched by ferromagnetic or paramagnetic compounds”

aaaiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

18 Comments!

  1. SondraK, Queen of my domain
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 8:56 am |

    There’s an app a tat for that!

  2. joe
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 9:44 am |

    Vibrating tattoo…….well I guess it depends on where you put the tattoo…..might be a big seller.

  3. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 9:55 am |

    “Vibrating cupcakes Nipples?”

  4. Thunderbottom
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 10:53 am |

    Just what we need – personal appliances that nag. I get enough of that at work. Maybe the Amish are on to something…

  5. Posted April 5, 2012 at 11:27 am |

    So when ringtones, flashing lights and vibrations are not enough to get your attention, now you can get electric shock. I wonder what that does to bettery life.

  6. DougM (jackassophobe)
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 12:29 pm |

    I wonder if the tattoo can be hacked to induce pain or death?
    (What? Oh, I dunno. Maybe a dozen sci-fi films.)

  7. Caged Insanity
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 12:49 pm |

    Hey, here’s an idea. Take that tattoo stuff and make one of them neat cell phone barcode thingies as a means of identification.

    Then just apply to the hand and forehead, and…

    oh wait..

  8. joe
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 2:02 pm |

    “My pala told me yesterday…”

    Explain to this hillbilly ignoramus what the heck a ‘pala’ is.

  9. Merovign
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 2:25 pm |

    My Mom has the TV caller ID thing. Likes it a lot, means she doesn’t have to squint and or fuss with the phone to know when to ignore a call. It doesn’t talk to her, though.

    If PDAs actually did what their name suggested, and were smart enough to help disorganized people pretend to be organized, and IF you could trust the manufacturer, I would love to have one of those implanted with that hypothetical subcutaneous display I saw a few months back. Waterproof, never lose it, could call 911 if your heart wigged out, etc.

    But you would seriously have to be able to trust the manufacturer. Because that could go horribly wrong, also.

  10. Alan outback bacon czar
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 3:13 pm |

    My wife sets the phone on vibrate, then drops it down her pants, and calls from the land line.

  11. Ironic in Denver
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 5:51 pm |

    a) Alan, I had a gal pal who wears tight jeans, no pockets. That’s where she keeps hers. Very flat abs. The sight of her fishing out her phone was a bit much.

    b) Wonder what will happen with that vibro-tat when it gets hit by Putin’s psychotronic gun?

  12. TimO
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 6:23 pm |

    “Hey Doctor, you know that car accident victim you sent to get an MRI?”
    “Yeah, what about him?”

    “He just exploded…”

  13. snap-e-tom
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 7:14 pm |

    mark of the beast

  14. Fat Baxter
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 7:15 pm |

    Ben-wa tattoos. How droll.

  15. Paladin
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 7:52 pm |

    WINSTON!!!

  16. mech
    Posted April 5, 2012 at 8:25 pm |

    Ah, some folks have already taken a couple of steps beyond that stick on crystal lady parts jewelry stuff.

    TimO, 10+++++++++!!!

  17. DougM (jackassophobe)
    Posted April 6, 2012 at 6:47 am |

    By the way,
    caller-ID on the TV screen is cool.
    Now I don’t even have to pick up the phone to ignore a call.
    Not sure if it’s only available to integrated cable/digiphone service.

  18. ZZMike
    Posted April 6, 2012 at 4:17 pm |

    DougM (#6) :”I wonder if the tattoo can be hacked to induce pain or death?”

    Star Trek episode:

    Commander: “Lieutenant! Your agonizer, please!”

    (I don’t know if he said “please” – it’s really un-Klingon. But it sounds good.)

    Merovign (#9): “But you would seriously have to be able to trust the manufacturer.”

    Don’t get the Microsoft Version 1.0. And firmware updates are a pain.