“Turkey huntin’s dangerous!” — Coyote

If it gobbles like a turkey …

“I had placed my turkey decoy in a field in front of me and then positioned myself in some cover,” said [the hunter]. “[R]ight beside me was a short, thick spruce tree that had grown so thick you couldn’t see through it. That coyote came up the edge of the field and was one side of that tree, with me on the other. The distance involved was only about four feet, [b]ut that tree was so thick that he couldn’t see me, and I couldn’t see him. He was determined to have turkey for breakfast and was also determined that the sound he heard was a hen turkey.”

[The hunter] said the coyote “came in high,” a hunting maneuver designed to ensure his feathered prey couldn’t fly off. “When he bit down on my upper arm, he went through four layers — a heavy jacket, a sweatshirt, a long-sleeve shirt and a T-shirt,” he said. …

Once the coyote realized it had jumped a human, not a hen, it sprinted away.“It turned and ran 100 miles an hour across that field … It was as shocked and surprised to see me, as I was to see it. I took a shot at it, but it was too far off by then. I turned it around for a second when I hit him in the haunch with a few pellets from my turkey load, just to say goodbye.” [more]

Yep, to this day, that there ol’ coyote bores his friends and grandkids by pointin’ out the scars on his haunch and tellin’ the tale of The Great Armed-Turkey Ambush of ought-twelve.

(What? Yeah, I tried the frozen-food-section and Butterball angles, but the jokes just didn’t work.)

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14 Comments!

  1. Freddie Sykes
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 11:27 am |

    RE: “I had placed my turkey decoy in a field in front of me and then positioned myself in some cover,”

    My first thought was that he was about to run into some guy hunting turkey. Are you really supposed to hide behind a decoy?

  2. ZZMike
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 11:47 am |

    “Coyote bites man” – this is news?

  3. Hog Whitman
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 12:34 pm |

    It’s a real bitch to find frozen ‘haunch’ at Fred Meyer’s. None of the employees seem to know where it is, but I’m pretty sure it’s on aisle #12. Your results may vary.

    They usually have fresh ‘haunch’ about twice-a-year, but I never seem to get there until after it’s sold-out.

  4. Sven in Colorado
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 1:33 pm |

    Spring Turkey hunting is all about foolin’ Tom turkeys into thinking your purty Hen decoy is hot to trot and sexy as any hen can be. And, yes placing the hen decoy some 10 to 15 yards out in front of the blind is the usual practice. Then its a matter of calling in a Tom whilst holed up in a blind in full camo, making like you are part of the undergrowth. All manner of scent cover and wild arse camo gear have been developed just for turkey hunters. Doesn’t surprise me that Wiley Coyote mistook Elmer Fud for breakfast. Once settled in a ground blind in full camo, I have had all manner of wildlife come within a few yards of me without detecting my presence.

    Wild turkey are very intelligent beasts…great visual acuity, sense of color and movement. Last time I was successful, it took from a full two hours, from 0′dark-thirty on, to call a wily ol’ Tom close in enough (40 yards is stretching it for my shotgun) to dump a 3″ magnum turkey load into his head and neck.

    Hell, supposedly Ben Franklin wanted the wild turkey to be the national bird because of their intelligence, and ability to disappear in a heartbeat. The males, when in full strut, tail fanned out are truly regal looking birds….AND, they taste like domestic birds taste, only more so.

  5. Firehand
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 1:50 pm |

    Guy I knew was sitting in a deer hide when a tom turkey decided he liked that spot and the human had to go; he got clawed and beat up a bit before was able to shoot the turkey. Which was not trying to get away at any point.

  6. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 2:44 pm |

    Where I live up north in Kali, we got hunnerts of wild turkeys wandering the streets and yards. I have had to warn some folks here that certain times of the year when they are out walking to make sure they got running shoes on (…not that you can outrun a turkey if he gets inside his optimum *attack envelope*…) Bluehairs are *targets* for a *turkey, all aspect, heat-seeking, foot & wing powered missile*, called by the NATO designation: AWHOLYSHIT!

    Me? I pay *bribe grain* to em in my backyard—in case the grocery stores go tits up!

  7. Hog Whitman
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 3:20 pm |

    I had this purty young hen one time and dangit if she didn’t smell good and then… wait a sec… aw jeeze… I think I’ve been played!

  8. Freddie Sykes
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 3:39 pm |

    Sven, “placing the hen decoy some 10 to 15 yards out in front of the blind” sounds about right but this was so close the coyote got him while aiming for the bird. He could have lost some serious tail feathers if that had been a hunter with a gun instead.

  9. Fat Baxter
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 3:47 pm |

    He was lucky. Coulda been one of those killer rabbits, like the one that went after Carter.

  10. Sven in Colorado
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 4:18 pm |

    Freddie,
    Sounds like a Nimrod with little or no experience hunting wild gobblers.

    Still one of my favorite hunts…..If the birds are not cooperative, I get to nod off whilst setting next to some lil’ creek or….more likely, the South Platte River and let that sandy ol’ brown river woman lulls me to sleep. I always wake up feeling a year or two younger. Not a bad thing for a feller who is pounding on that 65 year old doorway.

  11. Ironic in Denver
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 6:47 pm |

    Well, whatever you say about this guy, he at least fooled one expert.

  12. Lance
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 7:21 pm |

    Great story for a guy raised on ‘Roadrunner’ moobees!

  13. Ironic in Denver
    Posted May 2, 2012 at 10:24 pm |

    I bet that coyote was thinking “SHIT!!!!” all the way home.

  14. Spin
    Posted May 3, 2012 at 3:06 am |

    It’s amazing how many turkeys are taken every year in Mississippi during bow season.

    Now there’s a stealthy sport, way above my pay grade.

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