Quite a Feet

walk on

a package delivered Tuesday to the Conservative Party of Canada’s headquarters in downtown Ottawa contained a human foot.

whaaaa?

Since August 2007, as many as fourteen detached human feet have been discovered on the coasts of the Salish Sea in British Columbia (Canada) and Washington (United States).

Is this a Canadian thing?

28 Comments!

  1. Posted May 30, 2012 at 8:00 am |

    He probably had one foot in the grave already.

  2. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 9:03 am |

    I have a theory, but as yet, no following. These are failed experiments by Mermaids (…who, without a shred of evidence, I postulate to have large and perfect bazangas…) to replace their fins!

  3. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 9:08 am |

    Japanese tsunami?
    Sharks don’t like the crunchy bits?

  4. mojo
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 9:12 am |

    BTW: in “Zombie Apocalypse” news:

    You’re doin’ it wrong:

    “The guy just stood, his head up like that, with pieces of flesh in his mouth. And he growled.”

    So I SHOT HIS ASS. Dead.

    Effin’ A.

  5. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 10:08 am |

    Mojo—-a little OT, but OBoBo just embarrassed all of America yesterday by referring to “POLISH Death Camps” while teleprompting a medal for a dead, but brave Polish citizen during WWII.

    NO greater insult to Poland and ALL of her people!!!!!

    Your penultimate paragraph is applicable…………

  6. Posted May 30, 2012 at 12:18 pm |

    Something just doesn’t like eating feet.

  7. Posted May 30, 2012 at 12:40 pm |

    ‘But officer, the one-footed man killed my wife!!!’

  8. Posted May 30, 2012 at 12:52 pm |

    Boot to the head?

  9. geezerette
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 1:04 pm |

    I’d say start checking funeral homes. Some bodies are being buried with out feet. Vewy Vewy Wewed.

  10. mech
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 1:36 pm |

    Re: Mojo #4 beware the bath salts Sondra.

    Who would have guessed that the zombiecalypse would have begun from the misuse of household chemicals, willingly?

    ~~~~~~~
    foot for thought:
    I think the creature holds its victim by the foot and when dinner is done, tosses the handle. So bodies being found is doubtful.

  11. PatK
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 2:05 pm |

    Maybe whatever et them is lack toes intolerant.

  12. geezerette
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 2:20 pm |

    Paaat boooo!!! :)

  13. Fat Baxter
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 3:29 pm |

    Leftover parts from the Mr Potato Head factory?

  14. joe
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 3:33 pm |

    Somebody got a hell of a deal on some short coffins……so to make them work out, off with the footsies.

    There was farmer here who had to bury a dead cow. He didn’t get the hole deep enough and the cow’s feet were sticking straight up past ground level. Not being of a mind to extract the stinking corpse and dig the hole deeper, he just fired up his chain saw and took a bit off the bottom…..which was now the top.

    He’s pretty lazy but a good guy anyway.

  15. Posted May 30, 2012 at 3:42 pm |

    Actually the mystery feet have been explained, they come from suicides and accidental drownings.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salish_Sea_human_foot_discoveries

  16. DougM (jackassophobe)
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 5:00 pm |

    Personally,
    I think this is the work of some deranged metric-system activist.

  17. Merovign
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 5:56 pm |

    The found a hand-in-a-box and a limbless torso in a suitcase in Canada, hopefully connected to this case (or there are more victims).

    The floating feet is easier to explain – IIRC they were in shoes thus when the dead body in the ocean was eaten, the fish would eat up close to the shoe and when the foot broke free, the shoe would float it away, carrying it away from the fish eating it.

    Again IIRC, they weren’t finding fresh severed feet. And things can float a long, long way in the ocean, those could be Caribbean or Australian feet.

  18. PatK
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 6:43 pm |

    Merovign – Well done. Explains the whole mess. Now can someone explain why Lebron James’ feet washed up with only the fourth quarter missing?

  19. Ironic in Denver
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 8:08 pm |

    ColJ (2): Mermaids …who, without a shred of evidence, I postulate to have large and perfect bazangas …to replace their fins!

    Mermaids can paddle with bazangas?

    Can centerfolds do that too?

    There is so much that I’ve missed.

  20. Lance
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 8:12 pm |

    I really don’t want to type this comment,
    but an old idiom flashed through what’s left of my mind.

    “Foot loose & fancy free”!

  21. Lance
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 8:19 pm |

    DougM (16), innerestin’ ISO comment!
    Actually, you’re right, it is difficult to quantify a foot metrically!

  22. Posted May 30, 2012 at 8:48 pm |

    Well … he operated in Canada because he didn’t like Imperial Feet.

  23. Bruce
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 12:19 am |

    A result of some big nights on the town?

    “Legless in Seattle?”

  24. geezerette
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 7:47 am |

    Ahh Miss Queenie—- now we don’t want to see any feets in your dead things collections of things you find on the beach hear?

  25. DougM (jackassophobe)
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 2:45 pm |

    Lance (21)
    Yessss! Bless you. *giggle*
    That allows me to use my follow-on pun:
    “Metrical feet” makes me suspect a poet !

  26. Lance
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 6:36 pm |

    DougM (25), Are you referring to
    I A M B I C P E N T A M E T E R, yanno, the way that Willie
    Shakespeare wanted use to speak somma his plays & sonnets??

  27. Ironic in Denver
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 12:02 pm |

    ^ Wouldn’t knock I A M B I C P E N T A M E T E R, I bet Shakespeare got laid a lot.

    (Besides, I saw “Shakespeare in Love,” which is also how I came to a new appreciation of the expression “hold his feet to the fire.”)

  28. Lance
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 2:06 pm |

    InD, (27), I’d talk funny too, if’n it
    would get me laid a lot! However, I’d have a real prollem
    with the weird spellin’ ‘doz ol’ guyz used!!

    Don’t tell DougM, but I acquired a thick book coupla
    years ago that had mosta Shakeys plays in it!
    I godda dig it outta some box & start reading it.
    I’ve started my re-ed-jew-muck-aye-shun project by
    gettin’ a Kindle plus Amazon prime, both of which will
    pay for themselves within a year. Already have over
    a dozen highly recommended book to read.