when in doubt…
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Enter at your own risk
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today’s audience participation
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20 Comments!
I kinda like a line I’ve heard in a few movies: “Shoot somethin, even if it’s wrong.”
For a few months I worked for a Navy LCDR who liked to say, “When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout!” He was relieved by another LCDR who always reminded me of a guy you’d expect to stop and wipe somethin off his shoes before he came into the wardroom.
The XO on that ship was perfect . . . the essence of perfect asshole. NOT a fun 7-month deployment to the Gulf of Tonkin.
Easy one….
Empty the Magazine
First Sergeant a long time ago – “Mill around and look busy.”
For some people “Talk faster.”
Vote no.
What is this “doubt” thing you speak of?
Whip it out.
Would waking around with a fly swatter looking busy killing flies work?
… research, research, research …
When in doubt…
swat it with a rolled-up magazine first to make sure it won’t bite you (“Time” works good; “Newsweak” is too skinny).
. . . clean it with bleach. or fire.
Elsewhere: Lack of taxpayer money breaks wind industry
When in danger or in doubt
Run in circles, scream and shout…
“If you can keep your head while all those around you are losing theirs, you probably don’t understand the situation.”
when in doubt…
..read the manual*
When in doubt, wave off!
Colonel Jerry, if that were the case, and if I were the pilot, ..well, I’d end up running out of fuel.
When in doubt:
• read the directions
• review Plan B
• don’t sign it
• ask Mom
• put plastic under it
• wear old clothes and nitirile gloves
• use a longer club
• reduce the doubt to a bare minimum
• make a list of scapegoats
• get it in writing
• get a deposit
• take a hostage
• poke the corpse in the eye
• shoot again
• double the design safety factor
• run the test again
• use a condom
• just walk away
• vote ‘em out
CI,
There ain`t no secha thing as a *doubtful landing*! I would rather grease my fighter onto the sea right next to the USS Indianapolis than look bad!
Doug – That is a beautifully comprehensive list. I actually have used many of those, including poking a corpse in the eye.
It was actually the fresh corpse of a horse which keeled over in front of me. Dad said, “Poke him in the eye and see if he’s alive.” So I did, and he wasn’t.
^ Yep, good ol’ autonomics.
Dr Frahnkensteeen gave a lecture on this.
Way late to the party….dammit.
“Head to the reloading shed, check stock, prep rounds and make a note to head to the range with plenty of ammo.
<—— looks about to see if Sister 'Lissa is about and ready to join me.
The poke in the eye works for many things. Deer hunters use that technique — it’s also good for a wake up call– if you do that in the a.m. nothing worse could happen the rest of the day.