today’s sage advice

Don’t do this:

A West Virginia man is being sentenced to life in prison after telling a judge he shot and killed his girlfriend last year … because he was mad that she woke him up in the middle of the night. [not much more]

(What? Yeah. No. I mean … don’t wake me up in the middle of the night.)


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16 Comments!

  1. SondraK, Queen of my domain
    Posted September 29, 2012 at 9:00 am |

    ” Honey…do you love me?”

  2. Thunderbottom
    Posted September 29, 2012 at 9:41 am |

    “Honey…do you love me?”

    “No.” – *Blam!*

  3. DougM (November is coming)
    Posted September 29, 2012 at 10:05 am |

    Honey, are you asleep?
    *bang*

  4. DougM (November is coming)
    Posted September 29, 2012 at 10:05 am |

    *bang* (etc.)
    Oh, and don’t call me “Honey.” Name’s Douuuug!
    I ain’t just “the SO” or half of “us.”
    Keep it up, and I’ll be “the ex,” or you’ll be “the late.”
    (ergo, a bachelor still)

  5. Gwillie
    Posted September 29, 2012 at 11:05 am |

    Wake me up for sex, fine, other then that hide the gun first and tell me I’m dreaming.

  6. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted September 29, 2012 at 1:00 pm |

    After seeing the *movie* and now this, I am forced to conclude that West Virginia men——need work—–on their guiles as a lover to women! [...or at least, wtf they say in a courtroom...]

  7. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted September 29, 2012 at 4:04 pm |

    Well, they didn’t say how she woke him up….Lorena Bobbitt style maybe OWEEEEIIEEEBANG YOU CRAZY BITCH AIIIEEEE

  8. geezerette
    Posted September 29, 2012 at 5:27 pm |

    Don’t do this
    What? Don’t wake your husband up because you’ll get shot or don’t shoot your wife if she does wake you up? :))

  9. mech
    Posted September 29, 2012 at 6:09 pm |

    Uh, yeah.

    and don’t be drinking anything two hours before you go to bed so you’re not getting up in the middle of the night and waking me up.. .

    That and leave the cymbals locked in the garage.

  10. DougM (November is coming)
    Posted September 29, 2012 at 6:31 pm |

    geezerette (8)
    Yep, that’s the joke. ;)

  11. rickn8or
    Posted September 29, 2012 at 8:35 pm |

    I mean, I wake up cranky, but day-um!

  12. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted September 30, 2012 at 8:25 am |

    This kinda relates to an old theory of mine. Marry the ugliest girl you can find. She will never leave you—and—if she does, so fucking what?

  13. Hog Whitman
    Posted September 30, 2012 at 9:51 am |

    Kinda pisses me off too. Must have gone through about 4 of ‘em that way.

  14. Rock and Roll Doctor
    Posted October 1, 2012 at 10:05 pm |

    Yeah, but what if she woke him up for a blow job?

  15. Ironic in Denver
    Posted October 2, 2012 at 7:06 am |

    Doug’s update: I like that Pooh Gun.

    8 + 10: I see that I have underestimated the subtlety of Doug’s humor.

    14: In that case, give her one. Then she’ll be in a good mood for the morning…. ….oh, you meant it the other way around… then it sounds to me like she’s a keeper and should definitely not be shot.

  16. Ironic in Denver
    Posted October 2, 2012 at 7:08 am |

    Question: why does Michelle wake Captain Zero up in the middle of the night?

    Answer: to ask him if there are any expensive places left that they haven’t vacationed at yet, or whether they are going to have to start over with the old ones.

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