Actually, now that I think about it …
Inspired by this
(What? Oh, I’m sure there are lots of other good examples. What might those be, d’ya think?)
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22 Comments!
“Shut up, Vespucci.”
– Álvar Núñez Cabeza de Vaca
^ Srsly!!!!
Now, I have to crawl under the desk to find my lit pipe.
See, here is where I get baffled. Why did Columbus & the Spics seem not to know that lotsa years earlier, the
VikingsNorwegians had sailed to Greenland, down the east coast of the North American continent, into the gulf of Mexico, thence up the Mississippi River/Missouri River and FOUNDED Minnesota & Lake Wobegone? (…even cutting a shitload of Swedes in on the deal…)After all, it was the Spic, Antonio Bandaras, who starred in the movie, “The 13th Warrior”! Surely he could have told the Spics about Minnesota; right????
Am *I* the only guy who can put 2 and 2 together for these twits???
I’m guessing the cell tower coverage wasn’t nearly as widespread as today.
Columbus should have checked the website before he signed the contract.
Judge Crater, having just finished a wonderful dinner at the chophouse on 45th, checked apple maps before heading out on a short walk to broadway.
Both a colleague and his mistress said he had been fiddling with his iPhone 5 all throughout the meal.
Mystery Solved
Is mine too obscure?
Doug, the Egypt wilderness travels of the Israelites was the first thing that popped into my noggin before I clicked the link.
But that may have been more operator error due to the stubbornness of their hearts, dumping the original short route coordinates and being taken instead on the long path via manual tracking of a column of fire by night and pillar of smoke by day.
However they did get daily provisions and clothing 2.0 which did not wear out for 40 years. That formula has since been lost on some data storage device possibly in the same warehouse as the Ark of the Covenant.
K-Nine, nawp, not for me. (Of course I Wiki-Wandered across him last week sometime.)
Speculation could run rampant with this group.
Anybody seen Waldo since he got his new phone?
Mech 8: so due to Hebrew stubbornness, HaShem smote iOS V1.0, and it has been smitten ever since.
K-Nine 5: umm…. times must have changed. Is it now ok to refer publicly to the lady friend of a colleague as his mistress? [oh! perhaps I mistake your meaning. never mind.]
ColJ 3: Why did Columbus & the Spics seem not to know that lotsa years earlier, the Vikings Norwegians had sailed to Greenland, etc. I have seriously wondered about this occasionally. Even allowing for the passage of centuries and lost knowledge, you’d think the word would have gotten around. I supposed that the Vikings sailing west and finding somewhere new wasn’t absolute proof about the earth not being flat, but still…
…. so here’s my theory. Without checking, I’d guess that when the Vikings were doing Greenland and so forth they were still pagans. Meanwhile, the Roman Church was evolving a whole body of ideas based on stuff not found in the Bible but, like most social and intellectual
tyranniesmonopolies they gave it the force of religious authority. So they could then ignore pagan facts and go with religious doctrine that had cut itself loose from both faith and facts.Much like today’s left.
If I’m right about the Roman Flat Earth thing, Columbus is lucky he didn’t get himself executed as a heretic. Just as a caveat, I’ve run into various historical maters where it turns out that the popular perception of things is pretty far from the truth. I haven’t studied 14th – 15th century Europe, nor actual Catholic doctrine in that time frame. Since much of my “analysis” here is based on common perception, I could be pretty far off. It is an irony though, that an allegedly more civilized and religious Europe could be further off than a bunch of barbarian thugs from centuries before.
Footnote: I just looked it up, and it looks like there was a Viking presence in Greenland until the 14th century. Which makes the whole belief about there not being any lands west of Europe even more bizarre. It seems to me that thinking of Roman Europe as a closed echo chamber (as I alleged above) smacks of caricature. But still, if it’s not so, how do you explain it?
^ also, the Vikings had gotten themselves mainstream christianized by about the 11th or 12th century, so who knows?
Knowledge can be out there and just get ignored by whomever has an interest in a different narrative. And the absurd can become “common knowledge” in the process.
As proof, I offer the example of the fanatic belief in AGW today.
I thought they planned to stop over at Atlantis…..
Columbus and Toscanelli’s beta version
Are you sure you don’t mean Toscanini, the famous conductor? ‘Cause I almost kinda sorta know him, even though he’s dead (1 step removed).
From one of the stories I’ve heard, he had to speak to Einstein one time during a White House jam session and tell him not to start playing the violin ’til he tapped him on the shoulder.
Seems like the world’s greatest mathematician at the time couldn’t count!
That would essplain a lot.
Where were we again?
K-Nine (7)
Got it.
Goes well with your avatar, too.
Given the Amelia joke, I probably should have included a reference to the famous DougC.
BTW: The entire population of Iceland (reportedly) converted to Christianity at about 10 minutes to midnight on December 31st, 999 A.D.
And den had one HECK of a party, ya, yoo betcha!
K-Nine 5: Is mine too obscure?
Shit. I completely missed it. Duh.
Now that I’ve looked it up, it’s hysterical (though not, I guess for some of the parties involved).
I’ve got to pay more attention the the subtle nuances found here on the porch. Of course, those who know me would wonder if I’m equipped to notice subtle nuances of any sort. I may have to settle for spicy nachos instead.
One last try:
A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar, or maybe a school, or a hotel…..
…or a wall.
Wollf (19)
*heh* One might attempt a whole series:
• A teetoaler using Apple Maps walks into a bar.
• A Muslim using Apple Maps walks into a bar.
• A Hobbit using Apple Maps walks into Mordor.
^ A Hobbit using Apple Maps walks into Mordor.
Oh, so that’s what happened.
Mojo 20: good one! :-)