Because by 2016 half the country will collectively recognize how damn stupid it is, drive the far left into the remote north to be polar bear food, and reinvigorate the long-dead film industry by lionizing the steadfast heroes who made it through the dark ages with skill, dashing good looks, and plucky determination, your life is now being turned into a blockbuster motion picture epic.
Who’s playing you?
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39 Comments!
Owen Wilson.
Clint Eastwood. Yeah he has about 30 years on me, but after 4 more years of Obama, it will be hard to tell the two of us apart.
John Cleese. The man reeks of cynicism.
Me. Duh.
Shawnee Smith.
Robert Downey Jr.
^OMG! LOL!
I can actually see Chris Walken playing Doug :)
Zombie Yul Brynner
but taller…
Zombie Peter Lorre. But shorter.
Achmed the Dead Terrorist.
The guy who was in that show with that girl…you know, him. No, not that guy, the other one!
Daniel Craig; and he’ll be a vindictive bastard.
^12 hey, I’m that girl
Gary Sinise
The late Edmond O’brien.
Kieffer Sutherland and I have shared a similar visage since the lost boys. Including hair loss. If he’ll grow a goatee and shave his head, I suppose he’ll do.
I’d do it myself, but I’ll be busy hiding my spoils of war.
Walter Pidgeon. When I was a tyke I saw him in a movie, may have been Disney, and from that point on I wanted to grow up to be someone who, in their old age, wore a tweed jacket with patches at the elbow, smoked a pipe and carried a shotgun with elan.
Oh, and killed bad guys as well.
> and carried a shotgun with elan.
I say, I don’t object to whatever transportation you want but a shotgun really looks better in a Ford than a Lotus.
Zombie Walter Brennan, but not as spry…
Sean Connery (in his “From Russia with Love” incarnation). Why actually pick someone that looks like me? Duh!
William Conrad. May have to CGI him, though.
Yeah, that guy
Can’t stop the signal, Mal.
I don’t care who they get to play me, but for my girl friend I want Suanne Braun.
What? Oh yea well you see I was watching Stargate the other day and lets face it Hathor is Hot.
And you’re right I don’t have a girlfriend just don’t tell the guy writing the script.
You’re kidding, right?
I’da been disappointed if it’d been anyone else.
Going to have to be zombie Lee Van Cleef. I had to go find out if he was alive. :(
Hey, Eli Wallach is still kicking, though! :D
I’d love to say Zooey Deschanel, but Doris Roberts is probably more realistic.
John Wayne of course.
And DougM #26: “Angel Eyes”??
The robot from “Lost In Space”.
“Danger, Will Robinson”
Sondra, you sent me on a pleasant search.
I never knew her name and now won’t forget.
Marvin the depressed robot from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
Ann Margaret for Melissa?
Just a thought. . .
Sean Connery as cast in “The Untouchables”
Audie Murphy, except a lot shorter, dropping cluster bomb units *CBUs* in a Sopwith Camel at the battle of San Jacinto, plus strafing the Mexican solders at Goliad……and….dropping torpedoes in the Rio Grande at Brownsville that sunk Mexican boatloads of soldiers at Laredo……………………
A dolphin. A dolphin that speaks 7 languages and knows Kung Fu. And has freaking laser…. Nah. Too implausible. Just cast a dolphin.
Telly Savalas!
Or anyone else that gets a role opposite Raquel Welch!
“Spanky” CO of *Our Gang*. An the cute lil girl, played by Melissa (actual…), but platonic…..