a union of ding dongs

Hostess, maker of Twinkies, Wonder Bread, and other stuff, is going out of business because they can’t afford to give their workers’ union handjobs.


image unrelated, it just came up in a GIS for “ding dongs”.

other stuff did too but this is a family blog.

“We deeply regret the necessity of today’s decision, but we do not have the financial resources to weather an extended nationwide strike,” Hostess CEO Gregory F. Rayburn said in announcing that the firm had filed a motion with the U.S. Bankruptcy Court to shutter its business. “Hostess Brands will move promptly to lay off most of its 18,500-member workforce and focus on selling its assets to the highest bidders.”

So rather than accept a 2% drop in their pensions to help keep the business afloat, these union workers now find themselves without jobs or pensions, which will be liquidated to help pay off company debts. Unfortunate for the non-union workers caught up in the bloodshed but hey, they don’t even count, do they.

“Most employees who lose their jobs should be eligible for government-provided unemployment benefits,” Hostess said.

Ooooooooooooo. That should sting.

36 Comments!

  1. Tom Smith
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 6:46 am |

    Union leaders said they were being asked to take too deep of a reduction and unemployment would pay them more. I can assure you from experience that it aint true. What a group of tools.

    Now if Boehner had the stones he would do the same thing.

  2. SondraK, Queen of my domain
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 6:50 am |

    The parasite killing it’s Hostess…

  3. apotheosis
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 6:54 am |

    ^ WINNAH

  4. MikeG
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 7:09 am |

    Who’da thunk that I would outlive Twinkies?

  5. MikeG
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 7:17 am |

    Tallahasee’s gonna be pissed!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeS6DvyLScE&feature=related

  6. SondraK, Queen of my domain
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 7:26 am |

    * down Twinkies *

  7. Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause*
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 8:00 am |

    *shrugs*

  8. Posted November 16, 2012 at 8:17 am |

    I’m already running out of my stash of ding dongs, dammit!

  9. mech
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 8:57 am |

    I’ll make a stop or two when i get out. Maybe get some Christmas shopping done.

    People like collectibles.

  10. apotheosis
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 9:50 am |

    ^ And the best thing about ‘em is, they keep forever.

  11. S2
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 9:51 am |

    Of the 18.5K jobs gone, only about 5K were union members. Wonder how many of the non-union lay offs know what a blanket party is?

  12. Tom Smith
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 10:05 am |

    Just heard that Ding Dongs will continue to come out of Washington DC.

  13. Posted November 16, 2012 at 10:06 am |

    The spinoff is that the twinkie process and factory will be one of the assets sold off. So it will restart under a new ame and likely the same employees (formerly union) hired back at much less than the 2% loss they rejected and having lost their penssions in the bargain. But their penssions will be covered by that federal pension guarantee fund, so it’s all good.

    I’m hoping Kirkland brands takes over the Twinkie name.

  14. apotheosis
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 10:30 am |

    Tallahasee’s gonna be pissed!

  15. Thunderbottom
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 10:38 am |

    Well, there are still “Little Debbie” snack cakes. I’ve been told that they’re non-union. Thing is, in my opinion, “Little Debbie” is to Hostess in the way that “Hydrox” is/was to Oreos (Hydrox made a cheaper cookie similar to the Oreo in that it was vanilla creme sandwiched between two chocolate wafers but it had a rather chemical flavor with a chalky texture).

  16. SondraK, Queen of my domain
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 10:46 am |

    It’s not FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. Posted November 16, 2012 at 10:51 am |

    Read it and weep. I didn’t see Zingers© on the list but I [sniff] have a feeling they’re dead too.

    http://hostessbrands.com/Closing.aspx

  18. DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!)
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 10:53 am |

    Missy (6) !!!!!!!!!!!

  19. Thunderbottom
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 10:58 am |

    #16, SondraK: Well, I guess that’s the end of that business venture (thanks, unions!)

  20. Caged Insanity
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 12:25 pm |

    Unions really are some of the lowest scum you can run across on this rock.

    I hope the union workers starve to death.

  21. rickn8or
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 12:32 pm |

    So. How much longer can you call someone a Twinkie and have them understand what you mean?

    For my DVD-raised grandson’s “rewind” is already an antique concept.

  22. ZZMike
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm |

    Twinkies in history:

    The Dan White (Harvey Milk Murder) Trial (1979)

    On Nov 27, 1978, Dan White assassinated San Francisco Mayor George Moscone. (That was back in the Old Days, before San Francsico became “Frisco”.)

    DEFENSE: “The Twinkie Defense” as it became known, is synonymous with the trial of Dan White. White’s legal team took the position that Dan was suffering from a long-standing and untreated depression that diminished his capacity to distinguish right from wrong. Expert testimony by psychiatrist Dr. Martin Blinder noted White had changed his normally health conscious diet to a diet that consisted of junk food.

    Also on the Hostess Auction Block:

    Hostess®, Drakes® and Dolly Madison®, which make iconic cake products such as Twinkies®, CupCakes, Ding Dongs®, Ho Ho’s®, Sno Balls® and Donettes®. Bread brands to be sold include Wonder®, Nature’s Pride ®, Merita®, Home Pride®, Butternut®, and Beefsteak®, among others.

    Too bad about Wonder Bread. I’m going to miss that squishy white bread.

    On the other hand, closing all those production lines os going to free up a heck of a lot of sugar.

  23. SondraK, Queen of my domain
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 2:04 pm |

  24. apotheosis
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 2:52 pm |

    Twinkie the Kid.

    Full name, Twinkie Domingo Carlos Andres Sebastián d’Anconia.

  25. Posted November 16, 2012 at 3:54 pm |

    They’re too Twinkie© to fail.

  26. MikeG
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 4:01 pm |

    (23) Rush had that today too Sondra. Yeah let the government bail out Hostess.

    Would YOU want to be the one to explain that to Moochelle?

    (well, ok. maybe you would)

  27. Posted November 16, 2012 at 4:12 pm |

    Latest I heard was that it would only cost the government (i.e: us) $450 mil a year to pay for their guaranteed pensions.

  28. Posted November 16, 2012 at 4:20 pm |

    I’m seriously thinking about pawning my cats and using the proceeds to buy every Hostess© product still available.

    Yanno, back when the New Coke™ fiasco was unfolding, my girlfriend, who was a serious Coke© addict, went out and bought case after case of the old stuff. We had it piled in the basement/garage as high as it would go. When Coca Cola finally came to their senses about two months later, she still had some of the original stuff left. Too bad she didn’t save the empty cans. They would probably be worth something today.

  29. Fat Baxter
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 4:23 pm |

    Well, as long as the phrase “running cupcakes” is generic, we’re safe.

  30. mech
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 4:45 pm |

    ^^Excellent!!!!1!!11!111^^

    Now we need a photoshop commentary with Sad Keanu!!

    Sondra, (2) is in the Internets Top Ten.

  31. Lance
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 4:55 pm |

    I just thought of da bazillions of twinkie lovin’ ‘Murricans,
    in all 57 states who will want to publicly express their grief
    & sadness about the death of one of the mostest important
    ‘comfort’ foods since their toddlerhood!

    How soon will the funeral marches & memorial events start
    taking place? With many times the peeps as any Obozo event!
    How soon teh U-toobz & FB pages with weeping, sobbing kids
    of all ages & their mommies? How soon will National Twinkie
    Memorial day be declared by ‘the people’?
    And then there’s ‘Wonder Bread’, plus all the other Hostess
    nomnoms! Tragic times ahead, without Wonderbread!!!

  32. Posted November 16, 2012 at 5:14 pm |

    ^ I’d put my Sno Balls thru a wringer for one more Zinger!

  33. mech
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 5:49 pm |

    Undisclosed location.

    Going on my shelf next to the Star Wars stuff till just before Christmas, then they go up for auction as the withdrawls get really bad.

    I’ll save a few for stocking stuffers.

    (Christmas stockings, sillly)

  34. ZZMike
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 7:04 pm |

    mech: You jus’ done hit the jackpot!!

    eBay listings

    A box for $2.5 million ($5 million buy-it-now)

    #2 is for 10 boxes, $1.5 million.

    A “rare double pack” for $200,000.

    “Newly listed TRUCKLOAD OF TWINKIES 1100 BOXES OF 10 11,000 TWINKIES LAST PAYLOAD LEFTON EARTH” —- $88,000″

    (Truck not included)

    Prices drop quickly to $10,000.

    So far, no bids.

    Here it is in the News:

    Box of 10 Twinkies listed on eBay for $500

    I’m sure Mayor Bloomberg is going to step in to stop this nefarious gouging.

  35. Bruce
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 11:54 pm |

    Williams & Ree, the Indian and the White Guy, performing the Ding-Dong Song:

  36. Bruce
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 11:58 pm |

    The Ding Dong Song