today’s audience participation

*** bumped ***

This one’s important…I have finally decided to start thinking about working on the SondraKipedia and I need your help!

KisP: a beginner’s guide…


  1. apotheosis
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 7:33 am |

    Always hover over the pics.

  2. bocopro
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 7:58 am |

    Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est, or just scientia potesta est, if you prefer.

    As for the jello, there may always be room for it, provided it is boneless.

    When my elder daughter was around 10 or so, I picked her up after a Girl Scout camping trip, and as we were driving home, she asked me a strange question for one her age.

    “Dad,” she said, “do you know why women and jello are alike?”

    Expecting some puerile nonsensical joke, I replied, “No. You tell me.” My mind had already leapt to a situation involving things getting hard when they are chilled.

    “Because they both wiggle when you eat ‘em,” she said.

    I thought about that for a few moments as we drove along the highway, then asked her if she knew what it meant.

    “No. One of the other girls tried to explain it to us, but it sounded really gross.”

    That was a pretty good place to allow the subject to die a quiet, ignominious death.

  3. apotheosis
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 8:17 am |


    sometimes silence is the only possible answer. ‘specially when you’re driving.

  4. mojo
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 8:37 am |

    No toothpicks?

  5. bocopro
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 8:41 am |

    Well, Apo . . . today that girl is pushin 50 and it’s pushin back. She’s the one who taught me that you can love a person strongly enough to be able to kill for her but not be able to spend more than 48 hours with her under the same roof.

    Silence is indeed the best strategy for us after the first day’s visit, but neither of us have the traits of brevity or tact or discretion in our makeup. We tend to say what’s on our minds, and more than half the time that results in sparks which often lead to raging infernos.

  6. mech
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 8:44 am |

    ^or chopsticks?

    A question: how many subscribe to comments?

    Be sure to czech out all of the items and butt-ons on the right side.

  7. SondraK, Queen of my domain
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 8:50 am |

    Always check the embedded links, the ( * )’s and the
    ~ ______~’s. If my posts don’t make sense it’s because you didn’t :)

  8. DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!)
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 12:06 pm |

    Missy needs to build the promised SodraKipedia!
    Right? Right?

    KisP is the site (knowledge is power); and we comment, here below, on The Porch™. We are all Missy’s guests, here, so wipe your feet.

    Follow the links:
    “~vid~” will take you to the posted video, in case the embed fails.
    A “Cultural ref” usually links to a movie clip where the quote/scenario originates.
    A “KisPref” or “previously…” will link to an earlier relevant post here at KisP.
    A “Finish your assignment >>” or “somethingorother BTF: >>” means that there’s more below the fold, so click on it. It may be nothin’, but it may be somethin’. Hey, try it. Don’t cost nuthin’.

    Look for the puns.
    If a post doesn’t piss you off, immediately, then there are at least two jokes in there.
    Asterisks have footnotes, usually to make or explain the joke.
    Silly misspellings are usually for fun and are quite possibly sarcasm.
    Stuff within asterisks are sounds. *heh*
    Stuff within brackets are actions. [picks nose]
    Stuff within parentheses after “What?” are monologs with my imaginary friend.
    (What? Yeah, you.)

    Missy is my pet name for Sondra (Cultural ref: The Horse Soldiers).
    My patios is not region/ethno-specific. It’s meant merely to indicate familiar, casual conversation while leanin’ against a dadgum paddock gate or raftin’ down the river.
    My personal stories are 99% true, to the best of my recollection; and any “composites” are minor and representative.
    My avatar is Colonel Douglas Mortimer (For a Few Dollars More), the best shot in the Carolinas. I am a Douglas Mor…, but was only a Lieutenant Colonel (although the honorific is “Colonel”), a passable marksman, and live in NC.

    Stupid comments from Progressives and other Leftists will meet … resistance.
    Swearing should be rare and necessary or effective, and I recommend adding f’n asterisks to that s**t. (ewww … crude!)
    Racist terms will get you kiboshed from my posts.
    All the ladies, here, are virtuous and beautiful; and all the men are gentlemen. To state otherwise would be cause for … well, I don’t know. It’s never happened.

    Yes, there’s a PayPal link in the RH margin.

  9. Posted November 16, 2012 at 12:53 pm |

    • Pay no attention to that Hog guy (it only encourages him), & the Czech is in the Email.

  10. Posted November 16, 2012 at 1:15 pm |

    ***bumped*** means moved to the top….I just figgered that out on my own.

  11. SondraK, Queen of my domain
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 1:38 pm |

    ^ KisPians are fast runners :)

    Hay! Does anyone know how to set up a Wikipedia page???????

  12. apotheosis
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 1:48 pm |

    We are Mayberry, and Sheik Yerbouti is our Otis.

  13. Lance
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 2:22 pm |

    I ‘spect we needz a dict-shun-airy, soz alla da visitors
    to da Porch can figgur out what weez talkin’ ’bout!
    We can include wurdz like:
    prolly, prollem, sammich, ‘sylum ‘Lympian, etc.
    (I knowz, I getz an ‘F++) frum Prof. Bocopro.)
    Ok, I’ll go stand in the corner now, sheeesh!

  14. SondraK, Queen of my domain
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 2:58 pm |

    ^ Whataya think I’m tryin’ tah do here???????????!!!

  15. Posted November 16, 2012 at 3:12 pm |

    • Hillbilly: Some guy named Billy who lives in the hills

    Speaking of which, if you have Netflix and haven’t seen

    then you are truly depriving yourselves of a unique and very scary experience. It might also cause you to look at Hank Williams III in a slightly different light.

    You can see it right now on Instant Watch™. Good luck.

  16. SondraK, Queen of my domain
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 3:13 pm |

    ^ Seen ‘em all. Wish I could unknow.

  17. mojo
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 3:14 pm |

    omnia dicta fortiora si dicta Latina

  18. mojo
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm |

    HE IS SPARTACUS! Over there! GET HIM!

  19. Posted November 16, 2012 at 3:45 pm |

    • The place we all go for some sanity, which should say something rightchare.

  20. kinlaw
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 6:13 pm |

    High heels and /or cowboy boots are de rigueur.

  21. rickn8or
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 6:52 pm |

    And Birthday Spankin’s.

    (What? Shaddup. I’m tryin’ to bring ‘em back.)

  22. Justin Credible
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 7:48 pm |

    ‘Lympians might need to be explained to random and sundry visitors.

  23. Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause*
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 9:31 pm |

    First fella who can clearly and rationally ‘splain Lympians to me gets an extra *spankin*

  24. JoeBandMember≠
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 10:01 pm |

    I only know how to update the Lake Monsters page.

  25. JoeBandMember©®
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 10:03 pm |

    Be sure to include a definitions page.

  26. Lance
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 10:17 pm |

    Claire (23), your phrase, “clearly & rationally ‘splain ‘Lympians”
    is totally incomprehensible & makes me, “non compos mentis“!

  27. Posted November 17, 2012 at 12:20 pm |

    Porch Monkey – Denizen of the blog, who gather together to eat popcorn, drink whiskey or other beverages, and watch the world thru Gary Larson eyes…..LOOK! – its just one damned thing after another!

    the Bunker – Where the male porch monkeys hide when it is “DAY 2″….also where the scotch and seegars are stored.

    Melissy – The honorable lady from the Great State of Texas, who has the floor…..and the legs!

    *PALAMINO!* – self-defining, in hoc signos vinces…and all that drivel

    SHOOZE!!! – refer to “Melissy” above; and # 8 above re: “Missy” or………….

    – The founder and head of the Porch, definer of culture and dispenser of …..

    Birfday Spankin’s
    – sometimes posted celebratory pics and blessing on a Monkey’s natal anniversary.

  28. DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!)
    Posted November 17, 2012 at 6:57 pm |

    ^ Porch monkey: pronounced “porch minkee” a la Inspector Clouseau.

  29. Posted November 18, 2012 at 2:30 am |

    ^ DougM: Phoennieghnbc? You said phoennieghnbc.

  30. DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!)
    Posted November 18, 2012 at 9:18 am |

    ^ My eye spasm is back.