I have a feeling things are beginning to look very different in America

I have a business idea: I’ll carry a box in a timely and reliable manner from you to anyone you want to send it to for not so much money. None of my business what’s in the box. Just its weight.

The Drug Enforcement Administration has been probing whetherFedEx Inc. and United Parcel Service Inc aided and abetted illegal drug sales from online pharmacies for several years, according to company filings, although the investigation has gone largely unnoticed. Both companies were served with subpoenas starting more than four years ago, according to their disclosures.

The probe now appears to be reaching a head. In an interview, FedEx’s in-house counsel and a spokesman said the company has been informed by the Justice Department that it could soon face criminal charges. The company said it was innocent and planned to vigorously fight any charges.

Here’s the big, key change:

The government’s investigation “has now become absurd and deeply disturbing,” said Patrick Fitzgerald, FedEx’s vice president for corporate communications. He said the government wanted to “deputize” FedEx delivery people to help “catch criminals.”

“We cannot do their jobs for them,” he said.

Excuse “reason”:

…America’s deadliest drug epidemic. More than 15,000 people die each year in the U.S. after overdosing on [opioids, such as oxycodone and hydrocodone], more than from heroin, cocaine and all other illegal drugs combined…

In 2010, 32,885 people died in car accidents. just sayin…

You die from your choices, that’s none of my business. And it’s sureashell none of UPS/FedEx’s business. They deliver boxes. It’s not their freakin business to vet the company that sent the box nor the person who receives it.

WTF [Win Teh Futchah!]


  1. SteveHGraham
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 8:37 am |

    This is great! I thought the administration had done everything possible to destroy the economy, but now they’re really thinking outside the box! Or maybe inside the box. Anyway, really impressive!

  2. mech
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 8:39 am |

    They’re successful, money making companies.

    Of course they must be penalized and brought low to be like the post office.

  3. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 9:40 am |

    Post ofice just announced a 16 billion dollar deficit this fiscal year.
    The government can’t get one of their few Constitutionally authorized functions to work, after 222 years to get it right.
    No doubt Uhbama and Jarrett think the Fedex/UPS competition is “unfair”.

    Claire, I nominate you for Attorney General Grand High Prosecutor of the Restored Republic. You’ll have fun. I’ll locate lampposts for you.

  4. Posted November 16, 2012 at 9:45 am |

    They’re obviously trying to kill the Post Office’s competition, as if that would save it.

    That reminds me, I have to go get an estimate for the damage where a post office van smacked my parked car. Nice driving there, toots!

    And twice in the last month they miss-delivered my mail to the wrong address. One of the letters was a time-sensitive notice from the state that I was barely able to retrieve in time.

    Gee, I wonder if there’s any people out there who can drive carefully, deliver mail correctly, and are currently looking for a yob?

  5. Lord of the Fleas
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 10:21 am |

    More than 15,000 people die each year in the U.S. after overdosing on opioids …

    Paging Mr Darwin. Mr Charles Darwin please pick up the white courtesy phone ……

  6. TomR, armed in Texas
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 10:32 am |

    We will soon be broken down into 3 man cells observing our neighbors and reporting their sins to the thought police.

  7. PeggyU
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 11:28 am |

    All kinds of questions here!

    So … does that mean the post office opens and inspects every parcel it handles?

    Since the postal service has more than once delivered our neighbor’s VERY hard core and disturbingly deviant pornographic subscriptions to our mailbox, and since our under age son sometimes collects the mail, is USPS responsible for distributing smut to a minor?

    We have gotten credit card offers intended for other people. We have also accidentally gotten our neighbor’s social security check, another neighbor’s collection notices, and another neighbor’s court summons! I hate redelivering the mail, especially under these awkward circumstances.

    My husband’s drivers license was misdelivered to a woman halfway across town. She called us so we could pick it up. To the best of my knowledge, none of our other “sensitive” mail went where it shouldn’t – but how would we ever know? Given the things we have received by mistake, it’s no wonder identity theft crimes are thriving and on the rise. Does the post office accept any liability for damages that could arise from their misdeliveries?

  8. Posted November 16, 2012 at 11:33 am |

    Guess we will now be seeing the merger of FedEx and United Parcel Service…used to be a joke, but I guess humor does require truth…So now, they will be known as the “FedUPS”?

  9. mojo
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 11:34 am |

    “I have a business idea: I’ll carry a box in a timely and reliable manner from you to anyone you want to send it to for not so much money. None of my business what’s in the box. Just its weight”

    Transporter – 2002
    Jason Statham kicking ass and taking names, while chewing bubblegum. Cute Chinese chick, Qi Shu.

  10. DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!)
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 12:15 pm |

    Somebody’s gotta go back for a whole sh*tload’a search warrants …

    My prediction?
    Part of the plea agreement will be for FedEx/UPS to add fine print to the general service agreement allowing them, or anyone else, to scan, sniff, and invasively inspect all parcels.

  11. Fat Baxter
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 4:28 pm |

    Up next: now that the feds have their nose in FEDEX and UPS, watch them start enforcing collection of sales taxes of internet purchases for those states that demand it.

  12. Merovign
    Posted November 16, 2012 at 5:20 pm |

    Mis-delivered twice in a month?

    I wish I could be lucky enough to have mis-delivered mail twice a week – I’m a lot closer to twice a day.

    Oh, PS, the Thought Police are coming to arrest you for delivering subversive thoughts in the sealed package of your head!

    I don’t know if it’s just the fate of systems that get too big, or if there really is a fundamental flaw that can be corrected.

  13. Lance
    Posted November 17, 2012 at 6:24 pm |

    After readin’ y’all’s comments for the 2nd time, I finally had the
    appropriate epiphany! Aren’t the same people that are responsible
    for the operation & services of the USPS, the same people
    that are going to be responsible for the operation & services of
    Obamacare! As I think Claire has often said, WASoF!
    I’d better start my EOL (end of life) planning.

  14. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted November 18, 2012 at 12:57 pm |

    “Going Postal”—–is wide open for additional definitions……