to coin a phrase

I propose that instead of haulin’ terrorists off to Gitmo,
we should just drop ‘em off at Sandy Island.
“Huh?” you say.
Wellp … seems that there’s this here island off’n the coast of Oz that ain’t.
[insert more *huh?*s]
Yeah, Sandy Island is on some charts, but …
(What? No, not just iMaps.)
… but it doesn’t really exist.
Yeah, could just be a database error, buuut but one of the sources for this database was the CIA.
(Don tinfoil hat, now.)
Okay, the CIA’s predecessor was the WWII OSS, and Sandy Island is in what was the South Pacific combat theater of operations, so there may have been a nefarious reason for placing a phantom island there — maybe to keep ships away from some secret operational rendezvous area or to explain lights or radar blips in a rendezvous area or sumpthin’.
Orrrr
(Hold your tinfoil hat on with both hands.)
orrr it could have been an intentional flaw introduced, either in WWII or the Cold War, to track the source and transmission path of an espionage leak by “tagging” specific documents or database records with intentional flaws.
Yeah, I like that theory*, which is mine.
Of course, there is a bigger conspiracy theory, requiring a much thicker tinfoil hat:
sea-level rise due to anthropogenic global warming**.

* A postulate, actually. A theory would have to be far more substanttial.
** A postulate, actually. A theory would have to be far more substanttial.
via Drudge

13 Comments!

  1. MikeG
    Posted November 23, 2012 at 11:14 am |

    Lots of suspicious things going on there at Sandy Island. Bigfoot, alien survivors from Area 51. “Moderate” republicans, and other myths.

  2. mech
    Posted November 23, 2012 at 1:36 pm |

    Someone let the word out that there was buried treasure and the island got totally dug up.

    Or some super storm passed over it and blew it clean away.

    In the process of destroying the secret lair of ernst blowhard soros, James Bond got a little carried away.

    That’s one efficient cloaking device you’ve got there.

    One way to keep the magazine subscription sales students from bothering them.

    CIA finally got serious about hiding the sekrit boosh prisons!

  3. Lord of the Fleas
    Posted November 23, 2012 at 1:42 pm |

    I’ve been around here long enough, it seems.

    Don’t even have to click on the “which is mine” link to know ex-ACT-ly where that goes.

  4. Merovign
    Posted November 23, 2012 at 4:38 pm |

    Option 4) Evil Big Business stole the island to deprive the masses of… something.
    Option 3) The CIA cloaked the island, which is being used to build invisible hovercarriers.
    Option 2) The Evil West is causing global warming which caused sea levels to rise catastrophically… but only at this island.
    Option 1) Somebody fucked up the map.

  5. rickn8or
    Posted November 23, 2012 at 4:49 pm |

    Myself, I’d be interested in how long the average terrorist can tread water.

  6. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted November 23, 2012 at 5:20 pm |

    Seems to me we could just shove the terrs off the C-130 ramp at 6,000 feet on the way to Gitmo, turn around for the mainland and call it a good training mission. Not going to the Coral Sea will save a bunch of greenhouse gases fuel.

  7. DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!)
    Posted November 23, 2012 at 8:32 pm |

    ^ dick,
    ‘Zactly. My suggested phrase “Drop ‘em off at Sand Island” is a euphemism for what you suggest.

  8. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted November 23, 2012 at 9:54 pm |

    Even more fuel saving – practice LAPES missions with them at some remote desert airbase. Don’t bother with pallets.

  9. Fat Baxter
    Posted November 23, 2012 at 11:11 pm |

    Isn’t that the island Amelia Earhart was looking for? No wonder she disappeared.

  10. Spin
    Posted November 24, 2012 at 3:58 am |

    If it wasn’t for that Georgia congressman Guam would of tipped over just like Sandy Island did.

  11. DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!)
    Posted November 24, 2012 at 8:07 am |

    Sayyyy, you guys are pretty gooood at this.

    ^ Spin !!!
    Damit! Wish I’d'a thunk’a that. Would’a made a great punch line.

  12. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted November 24, 2012 at 9:08 am |

    KO, here is the true story:

    When CINCPAC `s decoders broke the Jap Code, early in WWII, they discovered the Jap`s plan to cut off the shipping lane from America to Australia. One of the means was to build huge concrete bunkers on Sandy Island that would house batteries of 18 inch guns in order to sink American ships when they passed Sandy Island. Then, the decoders translated the specific detailed plan of the Jap constructlon-weenies and learned exactly how much sand would be needed to mix the cement for the bunkers.

    CINCPAC then said, “Viola! By God I got just the job for the US Marines! What will kill 2 birds with one stone!!!!” Seee, we are a fixin to land Marines on Guadalcanal, capture it and build an airstrip, so a bunch of Marine Fighter Pilots can get a chest full of medals by shooting down all them “Coke bottle glasses wearing Nips”. Them Gyrenes are a gonna need a lot of sand for sandbags and the layin down of that there airstrip, right?”

    “Here is my genius at work boys, we send a bunch of liberty ships to Sandy Island and STEAL all the fucking sand there; ever fuckin grain of it. Then we haul that sand to Guadalcanal, w the Gyrenes fillin sandbags enroute, see…..

    That way, when the Marines assault Guadalcanal, each gyrene has already got a dozen or so sandbags—–ready-made for they foxholes!!!!!”

    “AND, imagine the shock when the Nips haul all they shit to Sandy Island and discover it ain`t got no SAND!!!!!!!”

    “It`s a TWOFUR, by God an will likely win this hole fuckin Pacific War, from the goddamn gitgo; am I right or am I right?”

    All the plans were set in motion and orders were issued.

    HOWEVER, some time later (…still classified…) it was discovered RED SKELETON had replaced the real CINCPAC as part of a scheme for RED`s first Television Show (…which he knew that TV was almost ready to be sold and would likely be 2 to 4 TV boxes in ever fuckin American home!!!!!

    RED was on too somethin; big time, and woulda been the richest man on earth if FDR and MACARTHER had notta horned in on his deal (…FDR intended to tax 99% of ever dollar that RED collected——–)

    As they say in the business, “THIS IS YOUR LIFE!” And by God Sports fans, even yesterday, Black Friday, all them Americans was a fightin for to get several fuckin TVs—–jist like RED had predicted!!!!!!!!! (…even the Japs got on board shortly after we blew their asses into glowing radioactive ashes with Big Boy and Fat Man!….)

    KISPERS, do me a solid, and burn this comment after reading, M-Kay?

  13. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted November 24, 2012 at 11:34 am |

    ColJ, you been into the good whiskey this a.m.! Uhhh… Sir.