life’s lexicon

Confidence: tees up good golf ball at water hazard
Overconfidence: has never actually made it over that water hazard before
Optimism: puts ball through ball washer before teeing up
Overoptimism: it’s his last good ball
Hubris: turns to his foursome and says, “Hey, y’all, watch this.”
Nemesis: *splash*
Fail: gets citation for wounding a protected species of waterfowl
Strong Fail: … again

Well, okay then … perhaps you have a better example.


  1. Posted November 24, 2012 at 2:52 pm |

    Nope. That’ll pretty much do it.

  2. geezerette
    Posted November 24, 2012 at 4:26 pm |

    Playing in a tournament—T’s up over the water and has confidence because he’s never hit one in the water. His 3 year old grandson is watching and in his backswing yells ” Don’t put it in the water Grampa”. Splush — Your hole partner—

  3. apotheosis
    Posted November 24, 2012 at 5:25 pm |

    MAKIN’ LEMONADE OUTTA LEMONS: it’s a damn tasty waterbird.

  4. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted November 25, 2012 at 7:31 am |

    I had a real life experience that followed this—except for the FAIL part.

    FRIDAY: I take command of my very first squadron, Headquarters & Maintenance Squadron-11 (…the Air Groups jet garage…) Had just been promoted to Lt/Col…

    SATURDAY: I spend the day painting my new CO office and replacing *tin govt desk* with a nicely varnished wooden desk.

    ALSO SATURDAY: One of my top SGT`s (…in charge of all Classified Information…) (…a BLACK SGT…) and his Black preacher—gets in argument w a civilian white woman at the PX, about his parking spot. He makes her cry! (…she is a Morman…) The military police file a charge!

    MONDAY: I show up at my command office at 0630 and find ALL my phone lines ringing. I pick up the one that comes from my Group Commanding Officer, a Colonel. He is calling about the flap between my SGT and the woman. The woman? SHE. IS. THE. WIFE. OF. THE. COMMANDING. GENERAL. OF. THE. THIRD MARINE. AIRCRAFT. WING, A. MAJOR. GENERAL. AND. THE. BOSS. OF. US. ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    My Colonel advises me, “Jerry, do not FUCK this up!” This is my FIRST FUCKING DAY OF COMMAND!

    If there is any KISPER interest, I will comment on what happened next………

  5. Buzz
    Posted November 25, 2012 at 8:44 am |

    In college, we had an entire lexicon of sexual euphemisms built around golf.
    The girls had no idea what we were talking about until one particularly astute gal picked up on the pattern and helped add to our language.

  6. DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!)
    Posted November 25, 2012 at 8:59 am |

    ^^ ColJ
    I’m guessin’ you f**ked this up.

    ^ Buzz
    Y’mean like when Arnie Palmer’s wife was asked if she did anything for luck before a tournament, she replied, “I kiss his balls.”

  7. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted November 25, 2012 at 10:28 am |

    Doug, good buddy, THAT is exactly what *I* was sure of!!!!! As is my wont, I was wrong!!!!!! [ was every fucking senior officer on Major General LaBlanc`s 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing large staff; that knew of my plight...]

  8. MCPO
    Posted November 25, 2012 at 10:39 am |

    “There is no spoon.”

    Matrix reference

  9. Buzz
    Posted November 25, 2012 at 12:07 pm |

    Almost, Doug.

    Terms like “greenskeeper,” course ranger,” back nine,” “guest player,” and “course maintenance” are a few I still remember.

  10. rickn8or
    Posted November 25, 2012 at 5:46 pm |

    Sooo, COL Jerry SIR! How did you manage your first command challenge??

  11. DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!)
    Posted November 25, 2012 at 6:27 pm |

    ^ What rikn8or meant to ask was,
    How’d'ja un-f**k yourself, there, cunnel?

  12. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 9:31 am |

    Crap! I wrote a long comment last night explaining how I kept my first command, but it had disappeared this morning. All I will say now, since this thread is old is that Major General LeBlanc on hearing my decision re: his wife and my SGT was, “She got fucked!”