today’s KisPian asks

My dad just called to ask if I want a BBQ or a gun for Christmas.
—PatrickP

What should he get?

25 Comments!

  1. MikeG
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 7:46 pm |

    ‘Sup to you Patrick, but I know I have a Taurus “The Judge” on my list.

    Already got a BBQ. Well yeah, a couple of guns too. So?

  2. apotheosis
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 7:47 pm |

    Well, with the gun you’ll never be short of things to put over a fire.

    But it’s a bitch to take out a zombie with a Weber Kettle.

  3. apotheosis
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 8:07 pm |

    On second thought, why choose.

  4. TimO
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 8:13 pm |

    With a gun you can TAKE the neighbor’s BBQ….

  5. iD
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 8:26 pm |

    You’ll burn your eyebrows off!

  6. DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!)
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 8:37 pm |

    Safety glasses
    … and an apron.

  7. PatrickP
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 8:46 pm |

    But it’s a bitch to take out a zombie with a Weber Kettle

    That’s essentially what my father said, minus the zombies.

    “You can’t throw a bbq at an intruder.”

  8. Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause*
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 8:50 pm |

    Alls I know is, Dad deserves a big ol’ hug!

  9. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 9:39 pm |

    T’would be nice if Dad could gift you a gun without paperwork tied to you Patrick. When the brownshirts come to see him, he will of course have sold it to some guy in a parking lot at the gun show.
    Unless registration is required where you live to carry concealed, then you’re stuck with paperwork.

  10. kinlaw
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm |

    Apotheosis, that pic is so right.

  11. mech
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 10:30 pm |

    (5)^^ iD: That was my first thought. GMTA

  12. accipiter NW
    Posted December 5, 2012 at 10:31 pm |

    You want a bar-b-cue that you are going to be comfortable with, loads easily, and is easy to clean.- maybe something in stainless steel. It should also be easy to get to and have plenty of safety features designed into it….won’t misfire.

  13. The Ugly American
    Posted December 6, 2012 at 12:00 am |

    I want to be adopted by Patrick’s parents…

  14. Markshere2
    Posted December 6, 2012 at 4:21 am |

    Will Bob Costas burn airtime quoting a liberal anti-BBQer?

    We need more common sense BBQ laws to fight BBQ related crime!!!

  15. JoeBandMember
    Posted December 6, 2012 at 6:36 am |

    I don’t have any guns or BBQs.

    So buy me both.

    Is a BBQ a salt weapon?

  16. apotheosis
    Posted December 6, 2012 at 6:39 am |

    Is a BBQ a salt weapon?

    If you use it to grill corn on the cob, it’s a salt and buttery.

  17. JimB
    Posted December 6, 2012 at 8:22 am |

    Gun..Gun..Go with the gun

  18. Darrell
    Posted December 6, 2012 at 8:34 am |

    There was an outfit packing various seasonings in a shotgun shell that you could use to flavor your meat while it was cooking. Since you can cook in a hole in the ground–or even just on it–I suggest you go for the seasoning delivery system.

  19. DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!)
    Posted December 6, 2012 at 8:36 am |

    BBQ
    You can do brains up nicely.
    (What? Yeah, or a crockpot.)

  20. AZHolmes
    Posted December 6, 2012 at 8:37 am |

    BBQ is a sauce flavor, you’re talking about grills here. Damn Yankees…

  21. Darrell
    Posted December 6, 2012 at 10:15 am |

    Most etymologists believe that barbecue derives from the word barabicu found in the language of the Taíno people of the Caribbean and the Timucua of Florida, and entered European languages in the form barbacoa. The word translates as “sacred fire pit.” The word describes a grill for cooking meat, consisting of a wooden platform resting on sticks.

    Sorry, Mr. Holmes. The Yankees sometimes get it right.

  22. geezerette
    Posted December 6, 2012 at 5:18 pm |

    I’d get both you’ll need a gun to shoot what you’re going to bbq.

  23. AZHolmes
    Posted December 7, 2012 at 8:32 am |

    Oh, my mistake, I thought we were talking about grills, like in Weber GRILLS. Since we are talking about a hole in the ground, I would most definitely go with the gun.

    Unless you Yanks have some weird definition of “GUN” that I don’t know about.

    ;)

  24. PatrickP
    Posted December 7, 2012 at 11:14 am |

    So, I guess the consensus is ask for both!

  25. mojo
    Posted December 7, 2012 at 1:19 pm |

    Holdout, anyone?
    CLICK