gubbmunt work
They started out to “look for terrifying terrorists” emailing *b00m* plots from overseas. But once they got the toys equipment, what-the-hell — let’s watch everyone! Sooner or later *someone* will do *something* wrong.
…the emails of virtually everybody in the country. And the FBI has access to it. All the congressional members are on the surveillance too, no one is excluded. They are all included. So, yes, this can happen to anyone. If they become a target for whatever reason – they are targeted by the government, the government can go in, or the FBI, or other agencies of the government, they can go into their database, pull all that data collected on them over the years, and we analyze it all.
Typical gubbmint efficiency…
That’s why they’re building Bluffdale [UT] [database facility], because they have to have more storage, because they can’t figure out what’s important, so they are just storing everything there. So, emails are going to be stored there in the future, but right now stored in different places around the country. But it is being collected – and the FBI has access to it.
Wonder when they’re start following the mailmen around in little Volt vans, taking all your snail mail, opening it, xeroxing it, stealing the coupons and stuffing it back in your mailbox…
*waves to all the Boyz n Gurlz in Fort Meade Bluffdale*
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38 Comments!
I encrypt all my anti-gummint terroristic nefarious email plans with an unbreakable ROT-13 cipher.
BTW steganography, look into it.
Relax. That’ll be illegal soon.
My emails will be responsible for boring readers to death.
IP based phone systems (VOIP) are susceptible as well. Converting voice to binary makes it easier to copy and save off.
Knock yourselves out, fibbies.
So It might be sorta fun to start leading them on wild goose chases. Writing emails about my reconditioned Sherman tank that I keep in my garage and the nuclear warhead in the trunk of my Chevy Volt.
They will have too much information to be of use… but more than enough information to convict us of our three felonies a day if we should ever happen to stand up and draw attention to ourselves.
I mainly worry about Rodger as he seems the type most likely to go all Cody Jarrett on their asses.
MikeG,
Also, a randomly-chosen box of Little Debbie Marshmallow Pies, IN THE NAME OF TWINKIE THE KID.
The Eagle Poops At Midnight. Mum’s the word.
Hmmmm. Ya think now the Effa Bee Eye can find those Fast n’ Furious e-mails that Issa’s been demanding??
Apo…. Sorry, I can’t make it this weekend, and Little Debbie is with her mom the following week.
Aw man, I hired mimes to hold up the targets and everything.
ROT-13 is so yesterday. We use ROT-26 here. Twice the protection!
Attended a talk once where the guys had looked at many many images on usenet, supposedly looking for the hidden messages. IMHO, they basically had a grant and the funding to download porn all day. They didn’t find anything, but I’m not sure how exhaustive the investigation was. (They basically looked for statistical anomalies in the underlying images, but any modification (airbrushing?) would cause this, and there are ways to hide the messages w/out causing anomalies ata the level they were detecting.)
“Man, I coulda sworn Al-Qaida’s eleven secret herbs and spices for IED falafel was gonna be in that last issue of Penthouse. Oh well, back to alt.binaries.no.encrypted.messages.in.these.boobies.wink.wink.wink”
No worries here. I got an old german guy living near here and he informs me, “Vait Oberst J, I haf got a nother rotor undt vil add to jour Enigma. Nine, iss no vay dey can break, Ja!”
{…Yea-ah right Hans, I can *hardly* wait dumpfkoff. Don`t git out much doya Hans?…..How long since you got crypts from Abwer comraad? That long; gottinhimmel!!!…}
Claire,
You’re just being paranoid again. Pay no attention to that bug in the bottom of your purse. It’s probably just a normal cockroach that hitchiked here from NYC or DC.
Amazingly lifelike though, dontcha think?
OPCBA CODVU JEJTG NFRLC BY
IXNAY NOAY ETHAY ECRETSAY OTPLAY!
EYTHAY AMAY EBAY ISTENLINGLAY!
Honestly, I may have to reverse my traditional position of telling people not to forward all those dumb giant funny lists or long-debunked story e-mails.
Security through overwhelming the snoops – forward that chain letter!
IXNAY. AMSCRAY.
They all will be stored in the same place in a building in UT——-I’ve heard of that building——hmmm— no no — I think it’s wonderful—really I do—my fingers are not crossed behind my back—- it’s for the children right????????
So you’re telling me that if I don’t catch up on my encryption tech, i’ll be a steganosarus?
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The chair is against the other wall
Isn’t there such a thing as a random number generator?
Get one and send random numbers, in groups of five — the old traditional – to all your friends in the know, to which they will respond with a single digit. Everybody in your friend circle always uses the same previously agreed upon single digit. And then sends another random number, half in length, to the next in the chain.
Cheap entertainment for all. Keep the snoops busy.
And if anybody is caught and interrogated, insist that it isn’t a code at all, it’s just a random number. Smile when you say it.
Test
Interesting. I can’t post a link from Sipsey Street Irregulars. Fibbies must be lurking.
Walt:
…but other than that, great idea.
Anyone else having trouble posting links tonight?
Apo,
I’m in. Oh, and Uncle Bob says that the package has been delivered but we’re waiting on the pregnant hippo to return with the fine silver.
All is going according to plan.
Acomuwiw, Nit-te leyic.
Nopal tahk skat leyinuhk.
The stories are told. The stories are true. If only it weren’t true.
Read that, Fibbies……. Oh, my translation of the People of the Dawn doesn’t matter, Pesko/ Maliseet is worse than Navaho Code Talk. Nothing fits.
Grandad was Peskotomuhkati.
Apo (26) I’ma gonna decipher your ROT-13 encoded message & tell
Head Missy SondraK & all the Porch Minkees what you said!
Caesar said I could do it!
Nuh uh ROT-13 is unbreakable. And besides, I’m sitting in a Faraday cage behind seven proxies.
FDoU FyouU FthinkU FtheyU FwillU FhaveU FtroubleU FdecodingU FthisU F?U
Please explain how, if I use a FIOS to send a FAX (or just talk) a warrant is required to store/read it, but using it for EMail means it can be intercepted and stored (and presumably sorted in several ways, which requires “reading” at least parts) is OK?
Good question, John.
Software pirates have argued for years that copying software illegally isn’t really stealing, because they’re not actually “taking” anything in the sense of a single physical object being taken from the owner by a second party without the owner’s consent.
I wonder how they’ll react when essentially the same argument is used against their inboxes. Should be fun to watch.
apo, using the software pirates thinking, how about I copyright all my e-mails??
There are indeed “real” random number generators, but they tend to be expensive and kinda wonky. Pulling cosmic ray noise out of the upper atmosphere, that sort of thing.
Mostly we use “Pseudo” random number generators. Their output isn’t truly random, but it’s “random enough”. Unless, of course, some nefarious nogoodnik gets in there and screws with it. Prime method of crippling a cryptosystem, by radically lowering the key space.
That’s what NSA does to public systems.
John has a long mustache.
Monitoring communications is what you do to the enemy
and to those who might be leaking classified or operational info to the enemy.
Guess what that make us?
(What? I know nuth-thing!)