so here’s yer quintessential hypothetical conundrum

Some amateur herbalist in CO gets happy on his government-approved grass, gets behind the wheel of his Plymouth Valiant to hit up 7-11 for Doritos and Yoo-Hoo, and plows into a school bus.

in the mind of a prog, which actor is responsible for this tragedy: the weed, the car, or the Doritos?

27 Comments!

  1. Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause*
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 8:16 pm |

    The car!
    [It could only be eviler if it were a GiantSUV of Doooooom™]

  2. Buzz
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 8:49 pm |

    Doritos, ’cause Pepsico has deep, deep pockets and it’s not right for anybody or any corporation to have that much money or make a profit.

  3. geezerette
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 9:16 pm |

    I’d have to say 7-11 if they weren’t open and had that no good munchey stuff he wouldn’t have been going there.

  4. Paul Moore
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 9:44 pm |

    The racist school bus driver

  5. Freddie Sykes
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 9:53 pm |

    I blame the Hostess Company for union busting. Twinkies go much better with Yoo-Hoo and will make anyone a better driver.

  6. Lord of the Fleas
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 9:53 pm |

    I blame George Bush. Or maybe the joooooos.

  7. JoeBlamMember™
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 10:03 pm |

    It was he fault of the NRA. Just ask any ‘progressive”.

    You can depend on it.

  8. mech
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 10:10 pm |

    The Doritos, of course. They usually are accompanied by huge sugary drinks.

    And deep pockets as Buzz stated above (#2).

    Teh mind altering herb is gaining civil rights like certain diseases have.

  9. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 10:16 pm |

    George Bush, because he didn’t run for seize a third term where he would have eliminated the bus by requiring home schooling, banned weed, put the Valiant in a museum and made Yoohoo run from the taps at home.
    Uhbama’s still working on the mess George left.

  10. Posted December 20, 2012 at 10:23 pm |

    It was the salmon mousse.

  11. rickn8or
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 10:26 pm |

    Chrysler/Fiat of course for building a defective vehicle.

    And George Bush did nothing about it.

  12. SondraK, Queen of my domain
    Posted December 20, 2012 at 10:49 pm |

    It was my fault.

  13. Posted December 20, 2012 at 11:28 pm |

    It was the foie gras. The Doritos-crusted Foie Gras, served with a 64 ounce Super Big Gulp, and chased by a twelve month old Twinkie that I found under the back seat of the dope-smoker’s car.

  14. mojo
    Posted December 21, 2012 at 12:20 am |

    The Yoo-Hoo.

  15. DougM (Progophobe)
    Posted December 21, 2012 at 6:27 am |

    I blame white males over the age of thirty with an income exceeding $200K/yr for invading Folsom Pueblo Apache Arapaho Cheyenne Comanche Shoshone Ute Spanish Mexican French Mexican territory in the first place.

    MrD (10)
    Gooood cultural ref!

  16. JoeBandMember™
    Posted December 21, 2012 at 6:30 am |

    The Depends.

  17. jw
    Posted December 21, 2012 at 8:27 am |

    7-11 because they didn’t deliver.

  18. mojo
    Posted December 21, 2012 at 8:32 am |

    That’s what I always tell those moronic “Aztlan” chooms, Doug.

    “Piss off, we stole it fair and square.”

  19. Posted December 21, 2012 at 11:10 am |

    Just another Junk-food Junkie! Couldn’t-a been the Weed! Nothin’ ta see here, folks! Keep moving else I’ll have ta TAZE yer sorry butts!

  20. TheOldMan
    Posted December 21, 2012 at 12:44 pm |

    GWB

  21. Posted December 21, 2012 at 1:17 pm |

    Whoever is responsible for the Harold & Kumar video that inspired the violence.

  22. Posted December 21, 2012 at 7:27 pm |

    ^ That Harold and Kumar thing was one of the most racist movies I have ever seen. The only white people in that movie were either sucking cock, or banging their sister, while beating the Bible.

    But I guess Kumar got a job in the White House out of it, so it’s all good.

  23. Sotarr the Wizard
    Posted December 21, 2012 at 8:27 pm |

    It’s OBVIOUSLY the fault of that high-capacity, assault vehicle that poor Medicated-American drove. Why does ANYONE need more than a Yugo or Smart Car ?? Think of the children. . . .

  24. Melissa In Texas
    Posted December 21, 2012 at 8:40 pm |

    must have Twinkies……..

  25. mech
    Posted December 21, 2012 at 10:23 pm |

    Hi Melissy!

    Missed ya.

  26. Melissa In Texas
    Posted December 21, 2012 at 10:27 pm |

    I have missed y’all too!

  27. Lance
    Posted December 26, 2012 at 12:54 pm |

    Three alphabet newspapers have published columns blaming
    the NRA and the Tea Party for the accident! If the driver hadn’t
    been traumatized & terrified by the evil guns he saw at Walmart
    he would have been able to avoid hitting the bus! To save the
    ‘chillrinz’ the Obama gubbmint will require all schools busses
    to be protected at all times by military vehicles, tow trucks &
    ambulances driven by union drivers. Oh, & the military vehicles
    must be ‘high-capacity assault vehicles’!