today’s audience participation

old speak: _______ / new speak: _______

27 Comments!

  1. mojo
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 10:37 am |

    poontang/cooter

  2. geezerette
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 10:58 am |

    Earn——–Free

  3. Lance
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 11:01 am |

    Sandwich = sammich

  4. Lance
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 11:04 am |

    Head Missy, does ‘New speak’ include ‘Porch Speak’ Or ‘Porchese’?

  5. Posted January 24, 2013 at 11:10 am |

    ‘Long War’ or ‘Global War on Terror’ / ‘Overseas Contingency Operation.’”

    “Semi–automatic rifle/ Assault Weapon”

  6. SondraK, Queen of my domain
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 11:11 am |

    ^ It’s open to the interpretation of the commenter. That’s why this is so fun :)

  7. Posted January 24, 2013 at 11:15 am |

    And some simple ones:

    Blind/ Visually Impaired
    Retarded/ Intellectually Challenged
    Fireman/ Firefighter
    Barack Obama/ Douchebag

  8. DougM (Progophobe)
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 11:16 am |

    Progressive / Liberal
    Liberal / Progressive

  9. satted
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 11:29 am |

    printing money/quantitative easing
    para military arms/assult rifle
    homosexual/gay
    ponsi scheme/social security
    New Deal/Statism
    Clip/high capacity clip??? who defines “high”?
    Republic/Statist pukes (sorry, i’m jaded)
    Government Schools/public schools
    Co-dependency/Welfare

  10. Posted January 24, 2013 at 11:34 am |

    graft / investment

  11. Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause*
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 1:03 pm |

    disagreement / raaaacism
    statement of obvious facts / raaaacism
    differing beliefs / raaaacism
    observations of history / raaaacism

  12. rickn8or
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 1:08 pm |

    taxes/”investments”
    taxes/”contributions”
    lazy/”disadvataged”
    looking or dressing like a fucking idiot/”thug culture”
    NRA member/”Dangerous Right-Wing Extremist”
    Pro-Abortion/”Pro-Choice”
    Pro-Life/”Religious-Bigot Oppressor”
    wetback/”illegal alien”
    illegal alien/”undocumented worker”
    undocumented worker/”disenfranchised citizen”

  13. Jess
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 1:31 pm |

    Liberals are Communists/Liberals are Communist Bastards

  14. geezerette
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 2:51 pm |

    Lie — disingenuous

  15. Caged Insanity
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 3:06 pm |

    Conservative/Terrorist
    White/Racist
    Truth/Lies
    Lies/Truth
    Traitor/Liberal
    Treason/Normal activity
    Brainwashed/Educated
    Constitution/outdated document

  16. AZHolmes
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 5:42 pm |

    Taxes/”Revenue”
    Spending/”Investment”
    Spending/”Stimulus”
    Propaganda/Journalism
    Patriot/Tea-bagger

  17. JoeBandMember™
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 7:16 pm |

    Green is the new Red.

  18. JoeBandMember™
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 7:19 pm |

    Journalism/Lies

    Patriots/Terrorists

    Millions of NRA members/fringe group

    President/Tyrant

  19. logdogsmith
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 7:35 pm |

    boot licker/brave

    shit/preezy

  20. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 7:52 pm |

    person making more than $200,000 = millionaire (Uhbama)
    person making more than $200,000 = billionaire (Uhbama)
    13 murders by Muslim Maj. Hasan = Workplace Violence (Incompetano)
    War on Islam = War on Terror (G. W. Bush)
    the enemy = peer competitor (Lt. Gen. Claudia Can’t Cunt Kennedy)
    blow job = not sex (B J Clinton)
    kill the enemy and win = surge (G. W. Bush)
    tax evasion = Turbo tax is difficult (Geithner)
    tax evasion = tax law on Dominican rental income is difficult (Rangel)
    raising the cost of energy = saving the planet (Progs)
    polluting the earth mining heavy metals to make electric cars = saving the planet (Progs)
    hypocrisy = taking private jet and giant SUV to lecture on green energy (Gore)
    program = app (application) why is this?
    babysitter = phone (most drone teenagers)

  21. ZZMike
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 8:34 pm |

    ignorant & dumb as a brick / low-information voter

  22. The Ugly American
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 9:30 pm |

    Old speak: Unmanned aerial vehicle

    New speak: French tickler

  23. Stick
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 4:26 am |

    Old Speak: Gun control
    New Speak: Gun Safety

    (It’s for the Chirens)

  24. Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause*
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 6:56 am |

    “concussion” *snerk* / Misogyny!!!!leb11!!!!

    wandering off into the sunset / “taking full responsibility”

    Laughably dramatic posturing / “sworn testimony”

  25. sunshine is good
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 7:36 am |

    illegal alien / Genocidal Invader

    I have a New new in mind.

  26. geezerette
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 9:56 am |

    Muslim Terrorists———–Guys out for a walk

  27. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 4:25 pm |

    DiFi`s proposed law——— /———–ain`t gonna pass no Sneate!

    (…they like their benes…)