the day after the day

I find myself unable to talk much about the story of Rumsfeld yet. Doing what I had to do yesterday took every ounce of strength, composure and love I had. It’s been a terribly stressful 3 months and I can’t tell you how I managed. I am still rather stunned and still frightened by the thought of my life without him in it. I will be ok…

Thanks to you all and your kindness and concern and care. I couldn’t let the day pass without acknowledging that.

It’s remarkable how very few people have not had this experience and many of us more than once. Yet each and every time it is a deeply personal and emotionally devastating experience that is unique in every single way.

And we all feel the exact same way.
I find much comfort in this. I apologize for that.

Thank you for holding my hand from time to time as I muddle through this…

31 Comments!

  1. Ironic in Denver
    Posted January 27, 2013 at 9:04 pm |

    Go ahead and muddle Sondra.

    I don’t know that it’s much comfort, but it’s what most of us do most of the time anyway. So why not with this?

    (Aside: looks like I might have arrived at a time in life where the people I know who are departing are mostly the humans… sigh.)

  2. PeggyU
    Posted January 27, 2013 at 9:06 pm |

    You know you’ve done the right thing when it hurts so much. Be thankful you have a conscience and a heart, because that is what makes you an honorable human being! The world needs more of those.

  3. Ironic in Denver
    Posted January 27, 2013 at 9:06 pm |

    By the way, the last thing to apologize for is being human….

  4. geezerette
    Posted January 27, 2013 at 9:13 pm |

    See Rummey run!! You didn’t know it at the time but there he is running like the wind on the beach. Could it have been the reason?

  5. kinlaw
    Posted January 27, 2013 at 9:32 pm |

    I love you Sondra. I have never met you, and likely never will, but I love you.

  6. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted January 27, 2013 at 9:59 pm |

    “It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words:
    “And this, too, shall pass away.”
    How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!”
    Abraham Lincoln ~September 30, 1859,
    Sweetie, I know that you’re hurting and what that feels like – I’ve put down six loved kitties in the last ten years, the oldest was with us 20 years – but be kind to yourself. You did well by Rummie, giving him love and a human to give his love to. It’s in their nature for dogs to want that, so you made him happy, and believe me, your pain will ease if you acknowledge that.

  7. Dave
    Posted January 27, 2013 at 10:00 pm |

    You’ll be OK, hang in there.

    Sometimes you have to eat a shit sandwich, you are fortunate enough to have friends to help it go down easier.

    Don’t forget, the taste always goes away.

  8. Jimmy don\'t play that
    Posted January 27, 2013 at 10:05 pm |

    Thank you for the photos. Like the wind on the beach… indeed.

  9. TomR, armed in Texas
    Posted January 27, 2013 at 10:13 pm |

    We eventually meet up with our furry friends again. I have several waiting for me at Rainbow Bridge.

  10. mech
    Posted January 27, 2013 at 10:31 pm |

    You can’t be comforted if you don’t share your pain.

    We can’t offer comfort and prayers if we didn’t know what’s happening.

  11. rickn8or
    Posted January 27, 2013 at 10:41 pm |

    What PeggyU said.

  12. DougM (Progophobe)
    Posted January 27, 2013 at 11:18 pm |

    We can feel sadness and loss only if we’re alive;
    and as long as we live, there will be occasional sadness and loss;
    but we’ll know it only if we’ve also known joy and love.

    Grief is a mixture of dozens of self-imposed emotions which one has no control over and no way of fixing, only coping with and eventually shedding. We’re not unfeeling or callous for getting beyond it. We do what people have done for millennia, we get up one morning and recognize another day of life for the gift it is.

    The beach may be lonelier without Rummy, but it’s still yours to enjoy.
    Heck, ain’t a KisPer out here who wouldn’t love to be able to stroll along the beach with you, so next time you’re able to smile again out there, throw us a stick to chase.

  13. DJMoore
    Posted January 27, 2013 at 11:24 pm |

    Bless you and keep you, and bless and keep Rumsfeld.

  14. LLoyd
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 12:08 am |

    I’m weeping with you right now Sondra. As I just responded to the post above I began to scroll and see his head then the full pic and my mind went “Oh No …..” And it is a heart crusher. I know I went through it 2 years with Baby our black Lab. I walked her about 7 times a day over the last 2 years before she went back to God.

    I fed her, carried her, cleaned her you know what I’m talking about. And I am so disabled myself that I hurt most of the time as the day wore on. But she was a love to us, mys sister Linda and I and I typed this in tears especially seeing that shot of him running I know it is going to take awhile.

    And after that you still will never ever have his spirit and soul leave you. What a handsome fella too and full of love for you. Oh Sondra I am so grieving with you. But he is running on the streets of gold. Amen.

  15. Jess
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 5:08 am |

    I’ve been through this before. It sucks and that’s the only way I can describe it.

  16. blindshooter
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 5:27 am |

    PeggyU nailed it. Y’all are good people.

  17. TimO
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 5:55 am |

    Awww. We’ve all been there. Hang in there.

  18. Posted January 28, 2013 at 5:59 am |

    Almost a year to the day after we lost Achilles. My heart is heavy for you.

  19. Thunderbottom
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 5:59 am |

    Such a sweet furry face! I am so very sorry for your loss. I went through it with my Scoobie 5 1/2 years ago. Everyone at the animal hospital told me that I did the right thing but all I could think of at the time was, “I killed my best friend”. I have two black lab mixes now who bring joy to my life but not a day goes by that I don’t think about Scoobie.

  20. El Jefe
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 6:01 am |

    To paraphrase Kinky Friedman, “If there is a Heaven it’s where all the animals you’ve ever had come running up to you with a smile on their faces.”

  21. JoeBandMember™
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 6:34 am |

    Everyone here knows exactly how you feel. I know very well that I do. I still remember my precious Jake, and have to pull over when I hear “Feed Jake” on the radio.

    The Bible tells us to mourn with those who mourn. God knows how you feel, too. May you find a comfort in His and our presence.

    Praying for you and JR…

  22. Posted January 28, 2013 at 8:45 am |

    Inevitable as it always is with anyone that cares for ‘Pets”, it is always so sad.

    Thoughts are with you folks.

  23. Posted January 28, 2013 at 12:27 pm |

    My beloved Harley is buried just outside of my gunroom window, in a well-tended grave. He lies in a casket of solid hardwood, lined with padding under blue denim, which he loved to sit on, occupied or not. It complimented his yellow-orange coat, and he knew it.

    The two cats that were adopted after he passed, often sit on the sill of that window, and look outside. Many times, I see their gaze fixed on that grave, and I somehow know that his sprit is tending to them, letting them know how blessed his life was, and theirs is.

    They live on with us, long, long after they’re gone from our laps.

    I’m in no hurry to “go”, myself, but I’ll be glad when I do, and have my Harley again, evermore.

    Somehow, I figure him and Rummy will be buds, up there.

    Jim
    Sunk New Dawn
    Galveston, TX

  24. staghounds
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 1:02 pm |

    Been there too, hang on.

  25. LostLiberty
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 2:25 pm |

    Been there, done that, got the heart hurt. ( three in the last two and a half years )
    My lady friend and I both shed tears when we read yesterdays post.

  26. OTA Mom
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 2:45 pm |

    A bond and memories to treasure. So sorry for your loss.

  27. mojo
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 3:54 pm |

    One of mine used to fetch rocks – from the bottom of the pool. Seriously, he’d come up snortin’ water. Weirdest dog I ever had.

  28. MikeG
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 7:31 pm |

    Great pictures of Rummy. Thank you for sharing them…and him… with us!

  29. Posted January 28, 2013 at 7:48 pm |

    This puts the emotions on the rollercoaster…I look at the first picture and tears well up and the second picture makes me smile from ear to ear.

  30. rustbucket
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 8:22 pm |

    ^^
    Yep, Holger, that right there…

  31. Edd Zachary
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 8:59 pm |

    “Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring–it was peace.” (Milan Kundera)