we I haven’t talked about the latest list of conspiracies, both government and commercial, that just gotta, I mean gotta be worthy of bein’ looked into by sommmebody. This is just this morning’s batch.
Shirley*, you have others.
• Twist ties. Generally, one finds them twisted clockwise, but I’ve noticed that anti-clockwise twists seem to be common on imports from countries that use the metric system. Shirley, the FDA or Customs or somebody has a clockwise-twist standard for these things. Why is this not being enforced?
• Door-knob height. Didja ever notice that standard door-knob height is exactly the height at which a 6’1″ man wears his watch on his wrist? Shirley, there must have been collusion between door manufacturers, building-code writers, and watch-crystal manufacturers. Must‘a been! That, people, is no coincidence!
[rubs aching left wrist]
• And the UL rating on extension cords is totally bogus! Shirley, they should’a tested these things for ingestability by Roombas. How many times have we all come home to find a partially vacuumed billiards room as a result of a Roomba bein’ stalled by a cord and an expensive tiffany lamp tipped over on the chessboard.
I mean, geeze louise, how hard can it be?!
Yeah, the truth is out there,**
but that doesn’t mean one can’t create one’s own. [/progspeak]