today’s audience participation

What would the title of your autobiography be?

53 Comments!

  1. Alan outback bacon czar
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 12:25 pm |

    ” A Fish Out of Water”.

  2. SondraK, Queen of my domain
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 12:26 pm |

    ” Jack White’s a freaking package and anyone who doesn’t think so is stupid”

  3. SondraK, Queen of my domain
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 12:27 pm |

    ” Liberals are big fat stupid poo poo heads “

  4. bocopro
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 12:34 pm |

    SELF: The Swim From Ambiguity Island Through The Sargasso Of Word Soup To Utter Obfuscation

  5. SondraK, Queen of my domain
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 12:35 pm |

    ” I heart bocopro even if he’s stupid and doesn’t appreciate Jack White”

  6. mojo
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 12:36 pm |

    “Never Eat Anything Bigger Than Your Head (And other good advice I ignored)”

  7. rick
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 12:43 pm |

    “My Fight Against Procrastination and I’ll Come up with a Subtitle Later”

  8. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 1:06 pm |

    Procrustinations, Ditherings and Brain Farts of a Not Quite Dead White Guy
    Vol 1 – Diaper and Drool Days
    Vol 2 – Know It All with a Hangover Era
    Vol 3 – Productive Era
    Vol 4 – Diaper and Drool Days

  9. logdogsmith
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 1:50 pm |

    Umm errrr uh. What?

  10. mech
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 2:35 pm |

    Depends on who writes it. . .

  11. geezerette
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 2:50 pm |

    My Used To List

  12. Darrell
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 2:59 pm |

    Another Life’s Useless Energy Spent.

  13. Posted February 21, 2013 at 3:01 pm |

    “Kicking And screaming On The Road To Patience And Humility”
    “And All The Weird Shit That Happened Along The Way

  14. rickn8or
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 3:13 pm |

    “Aw HELL No! Y’all HAD Your Chance!”
    God’s Gift to Women Speaks Out”

  15. Steve Skubinna
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 3:26 pm |

    Skubie! The unauthorized autobiography.

  16. Posted February 21, 2013 at 3:35 pm |

    But She Said It Would be Okay!

  17. DougM (Progophobe)
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 3:39 pm |

    “Let’s Try This Again, Shall We?”

    “Stuff I Said and Did and Stuff I Probably Should’ve Said and Done Instead”

    “Who?”

    “Dreams from My Father, and My Father’s Father, and My Father’s Father’s Father.”

    “Wise-Ass Diaries”

    (What? Oh, okay.)
    “Travels with My Imaginary Friend”

    Yeah, there’s more, but it just gets silly from here on.

  18. Posted February 21, 2013 at 3:54 pm |

    “Damn, I can’t type all that again!”

  19. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 4:11 pm |

    My pen name would kill any autobiograpy. [...J Studly Bullnuts...]

  20. Fat Baxter
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 4:46 pm |

    “Honey, Can You Clean the Litter Box, Please?”

  21. Chris in NC
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 4:53 pm |

    “Geezer Beezer, what the fuck was that all about?” I’m on the 49th chapter…

  22. Freewheelin Franklin
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 5:21 pm |

    The Adventures of Freewheelin Franklin

  23. bocopro
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 6:10 pm |

    Sometimes I click up one of the jukebox sites (such as tropicalglen.com) and click on a category then call up the top 100 and just let it play while I’m doin somethin equally trivial.

    Tonite it’s C & W, and since my initial post (above) I’ve heard several lines in songs that match me to a “T” :

    “I’m in a hurry and don’t know why”

    “I wish I didn’t know know what I didn’t know then”

    are two that frame my life from about 30 to 70.

  24. Posted February 21, 2013 at 6:40 pm |

    Whiskey, Cigars, Women, and other Good Habits

  25. Annoyed White Male
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 6:49 pm |

    Carry On, Wayward Son

  26. Annoyed White Male
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 6:53 pm |

    Which is, coincidentally, the soundtrack to the movie.

  27. Merovign
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 6:56 pm |

    “Oh Shit” (A Life in Words)

  28. Stick
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 6:57 pm |

    I feel More Like I do Now Than Before I got Here

  29. Burgie
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 7:03 pm |

    Who was that?
    the story of a so-so guy

  30. Posted February 21, 2013 at 7:16 pm |

    What, me worry?

    Alfred E. Newman

    Jim
    Sunk New Dawn
    Galveston, TX

  31. Posted February 21, 2013 at 7:26 pm |

    Dogged Determination: There IS Life After Birth

  32. SondraK, Queen of my domain
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 7:34 pm |

    LOL@ Burgie!!!!!!!!

  33. Buzz
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 7:54 pm |

    “Sorry, God, for Wasting All Those Gifts”

  34. Lord of the Fleas
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 8:09 pm |

    ^ dick (8): Still trying to figure out how you’re gonna write Vol 4 if all the paper is soggy.

    As for me, I wouldn’t have an auto-biography. Don’t know shit about cars ….

  35. SherryM
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 8:43 pm |

    “So this is the end”
    (On the road of life with worn out shoes)

  36. jlw
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 8:52 pm |

    “I can’t wait until tomorrow, ’cause i get better looking every day”
    subtitle “I made a career out of being wrong”

  37. Murphy(AZ)
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 9:43 pm |

    “He Did WHAT???”
    Untold stories behind the late-night phone calls.

  38. PatrickP
    Posted February 21, 2013 at 11:48 pm |

    Whatevz

  39. Posted February 22, 2013 at 1:37 am |

    1st choice: Splitting the Arrow
    I actually split an arrow once. It was mostly luck, but the arrow I split was already in the center of the gold, and it was one of mine. There were about 100 witnesses. The cheer that went up was quite intoxicating.

    2nd choice: Jack White is a Douchebag who can’t even tune a guitar.

  40. El Jefe
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 2:52 am |

    Too much of a good thing
    Is still a good thing

  41. Jess
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 4:52 am |

    “Sweat In My Eyes”

  42. geezerette
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 8:08 am |

    Or—Just the Tip–

  43. DougM (Progophobe)
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 8:11 am |

    “My Life: Leaving Out all the Air, Water, Food, and Crap Crap”

    “Swell …”

    “A Sliderule Mind in a Supercomputer World”

    “Avoiding the Front Page, a Life Photographed on the Back Row”

    “Quiet, Keeps to Himself, Kind of a Loner, Nobody Thought He’d Do Anything Like This”

  44. DougM (Progophobe)
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 8:13 am |

    geezerette ^^
    Made me drop my seegar.

  45. Capt. Craig
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 9:11 am |

    “Here, hold my beer and watch this!”

  46. JoeBandMember™
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 9:24 am |

    ‘What’s in a name?”

  47. Thunderbottom
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 9:29 am |

    “My Struggle” – wait, that’s been used.
    “Shit My Dad Says” – what – that’s been used, too?
    “No One Here Gets Out Alive” – Awww, come on!
    Guess I’ll have to settle for ” In a Battle of Wits, I Came Unarmed”.
    #19, Col. Jerry, sir: I’d read an autobiography by “Studley Bullnuts”.

  48. Posted February 22, 2013 at 9:40 am |

    Now I’m at my PC, I’ll try again:

    “I been punched, kicked, stabbed, shot, poisoned, dog bit, scorpion stung, helecopter crashed, skull fractured, maimed and blown up.”

    Subtitle: “And that was just my first marriage”.

  49. Hopefulone
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 10:37 am |

    “Always Hopeful. Not Disappointed.”

    I hope that I can say that, eventually, despite the government committing child abuse through the profligacy of the whores on Capitol Hill and across the country.

  50. Maria Edi
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 6:17 pm |

    ^^ # 34 – “I wouldn’t have an auto-biography. Don’t know shit about cars ….” Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
    me neither …

  51. Posted February 22, 2013 at 7:28 pm |

    The Audacity of Kampf
    Mein Hope
    I Was a Teenage Choomster

  52. DougM (Progophobe)
    Posted February 22, 2013 at 7:39 pm |

    “At Least I Was No Joe Biden”

  53. Caged Insanity
    Posted February 24, 2013 at 4:46 am |

    “Too much insomnia”

    or

    “How I learned to live without much sleep”