tonight’s audience participation

I’ve never been in a Turkish prison but I stepped in dog poop barefoot once……..

18 Comments!

  1. kinlaw
    Posted July 30, 2014 at 8:11 pm |

    Saw a picture of Helen Thomas without a trigger warning once.

  2. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted July 30, 2014 at 8:28 pm |

    I’ve never eaten dog poop, but I have heard an Uhbama speech.

  3. mike
    Posted July 30, 2014 at 9:16 pm |

    was stuck in an elevator with Killary Klinton once so that’s like being in dogshit after stepping in a Turkish prison

  4. mike
    Posted July 30, 2014 at 9:18 pm |

    aw shit, was I s’posed to say dog “poop”?

    I’ll ban myself till in the morning. Hopefully the smell will be outta here by then.

  5. Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause*
    Posted July 30, 2014 at 9:25 pm |

    Once?!?

    rookie.

  6. DJMoore
    Posted July 30, 2014 at 9:26 pm |

    Never been in a dog pound but I did step in Turkish taffy barefoot once.

  7. Posted July 30, 2014 at 10:49 pm |

    Tried to watch a State of the Union speech……three times!

  8. SondraK, asshole
    Posted July 30, 2014 at 10:52 pm |

    aw shit Mike! Come baaaaaaack!

  9. SondraK, asshole
    Posted July 30, 2014 at 10:52 pm |

    “poop” is funnier than shit.

  10. mojo
    Posted July 30, 2014 at 11:14 pm |

    “Dog dirt!” as a grumpy old man of my acquaintance once yelled, puzzling onlookers.

  11. Mumblix Grumph
    Posted July 31, 2014 at 2:19 am |

    I found a corpse at the job who had obviously been dead for at least 8 hours. The bastard 911 operator said that since he couldn’t confirm that she was actually dead, I was to start performing CPR until the EMTs arrived. I knew the call was being recorded so I started doing it. You have not had a bad day until you’ve performed CPR on a corpse.

    I really think the dispatcher was the same one in the Josh Powell murder/suicide story.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2132053/911-dispatcher-Josh-Powell-murder-suicide-reprimanded-sending-help-fast-enough.html

  12. DougM (paleface™)
    Posted July 31, 2014 at 5:37 am |

    I’ve never been in a Turkish prison but I … wait.
    No, that’s right, I’ve never been in a Turkish prison.
    Spent a few hours in a Greek one, though. Well, got hauled in on the back of a police-commandeered moped and sat on a police bench while one of my yacht-mates got raked over the coals for using a metal detector on a beach.
    That island waaas right off the Turkish coast, however.

  13. Fawkes News (Blacklisted and Loving It)
    Posted July 31, 2014 at 6:22 am |

    Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

  14. logdogsmith
    Posted July 31, 2014 at 6:52 am |

    I’ve never given birth, but I’ve had paper cuts. Those hurt a lot, ya know?

  15. Colonel Jerry USMC
    Posted July 31, 2014 at 7:01 am |

    I once got up in the middle of the night, while deployed in Egypt, to go number 2 in the porta potties which were outside the tent camp fence. Did not realize until too late that there are packs of wild dogs in the desert! Bastards chased me until I got inside the porta-potty. Dogs hung around for about a half-hour and then left.

    Not only did I not go number 2 that night; I did not go number 2 for 3 more fucking daze!!!!!!!!

  16. geezerette
    Posted July 31, 2014 at 10:50 am |

    I have never been in any prison and have never stepped in dog poop with bare feet. I was a nurse so I’ve cleaned up a lot of human and baby poop. I’ve also stepped in dog poop wearing boots with deep grooves made for hiking.
    I did watch a bear walk by the out house at our camp in the woods no wild dogs tho..

  17. OTA Mom
    Posted July 31, 2014 at 5:12 pm |

    Hildabeast is my 14th cousin. That’s punishment enough.

  18. geezerette
    Posted August 1, 2014 at 11:08 am |

    OTA Mom—-^^^ you’ve been dipped in it and with that kind you do not come out smelling like a rose.