…First Seize the Language

nanny and Reality

Here’s a permission slip related to a ‘science’ experiment about tectonic plates. …using *horrors* an Oreo. yanno, that pair of wafer cookies with the sugared Crisco filling?

Sounds like the kind of thing the kewl teacher would do in 3rd grade — now it’s probably Senior Thesis level.

aaaaanyway, nowadaze, parents need to give permission for students to eat one [1] Oreo.

Yes. that…

But note the wording where the parent signs at the bottom: “Without a signed permission slip, my child understands that he/she will not be able to sample the Oreo.”

The actuality is that the child will not be allowed to “sample” — or, as some people say, eat — the Oreo but to these Proggies allowed to = able to

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yeah — this post has about the same nutritive value as the aforementioned Crisco-bomb; but The Language, as it forms the Perceptions, she is an interest of mine….

17 Comments!

  1. jlw
    Posted March 28, 2015 at 9:43 am |

    perhaps any child without a signed permission slip will not be able to sample the cookie because he (or she) will be required to wear:
    http://www.amazon.com/Silence-Hannibal-Lecter-Halloween-Collectiable/dp/B008BECKZ0

  2. mech
    Posted March 28, 2015 at 9:52 am |

    Not even with owl pellet topping?

    this paperwork is shifting off the edge.

    I’ll bet the kiddos who don’t get permission will feel so subducted.

    Reunite Gondwanaland!

    And may the doublestuff always be in your flavor.

  3. DougM (quiet, keeps to himself, kind of a loner, nobody thought he’d do anything like this)
    Posted March 28, 2015 at 10:07 am |

    Wait …
    aren’t Oreos™ like, you know … racist or sumpthin’?
    Just askin’. I don’t get The Memos™.

  4. SondraK, Queen of SondraKistan
    Posted March 28, 2015 at 10:08 am |

    omg.
    Now that’s not to say that one of US could have written that statement while rotfloao and gooey with sarcasm but I strongly suspect that’s not the case in this instance………..

  5. Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause*
    Posted March 28, 2015 at 10:41 am |

    gooey with sarcasm

    Phrase Of Teh WEEK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Ironic in Denver
    Posted March 28, 2015 at 10:49 am |

    ^^ yup, the self-lampooning left ever in pursuit of the next highest shark-jump… and finding it.

    I’m with Claire: “gooey with sarcasm” = Phrase of Week

    By the way, Mech, I had to look up “subducted”, so now I know.

    Doug, actually “Oreos” are an anti-racist (barf!) insult descriptive hurled at people who aren’t yet old enough to be Uncle Toms.

    Personally, I prefer orioles, but just to look at, not to eat. E.G.:

    http://www.birds-of-north-america.net/images/bullock-s-oriole-13.jpg
    http://www.birds-of-north-america.net/images/spot-breasted-oriole-2.jpg

    There, better images than many we’ve all seen on the news lately. [goes off to work whistling]

  7. Ironic in Denver
    Posted March 28, 2015 at 10:51 am |

    ^ Oh NO!!!! I forgot “Aunt Jemima”!!! Sexist Micro Agression! I am sooooooo ashamed.

  8. DougM (quiet, keeps to himself, kind of a loner, nobody thought he’d do anything like this)
    Posted March 28, 2015 at 11:06 am |

    Missy 4^
    Okay, I’ll play:
    • For social-science lab, tomorrow, everyone must bring a box of Oreos crackers.
    • For sex-ed, tomorrow, everyone must bring a banana, a chocolate bar, and either a hot dog or a clam.
    • For womyn’s studies, tomorrow, everyone must bring a can of cocktail weenies.
    Those’re the food ones that come quickly to mind, but …
    • For algebra, tomorrow, everyone must bring an ex.

  9. mojo
    Posted March 28, 2015 at 11:29 am |

    I bet if they’re quick enough they could manage to gobble that thing down.

  10. Ironic in Denver
    Posted March 28, 2015 at 12:06 pm |

    ^ Or bite it into the shape of a handgun.

  11. Ironic in Denver
    Posted March 28, 2015 at 12:08 pm |

    Doug 8: I notice that of all your educational foods, not much more than one of them would be on Moochelle’s school food list.

  12. SondraK, Queen of SondraKistan
    Posted March 28, 2015 at 3:10 pm |

    LOL@mojo#9!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. rickn8or
    Posted March 28, 2015 at 3:16 pm |

    ^ Oh NO!!!! I forgot “Aunt Jemima”!!! Sexist Micro Agression! I am sooooooo ashamed.

    Not to worry; just denounce yourself and go get on the bus. You’ll like it, we have cookies and you don’t need a permission slip.

  14. DougM (quiet, keeps to himself, kind of a loner, nobody thought he’d do anything like this)
    Posted March 29, 2015 at 8:16 am |

    ^ But Betty Crocker is not racist?
    How is that fair? I mean …
    (What? Sexist?)

  15. toadold
    Posted March 29, 2015 at 12:17 pm |

    Given all the turn arounds on what foods are good for you and which are not esp. for children. See BMI fiascos.
    “What’s for breakfast Mommy?”, “Bacon, eggs, coffee, milk, and guacamole.” , ” I’ve packed a Spam sandwich and a bunch of Oreos for your lunch.”

  16. Ironic in Denver
    Posted March 29, 2015 at 5:47 pm |

    ^ Arrest that woman! Child abuse! Put the kids into “the system” so they can be “cared for” by professionals!

  17. ZZMike
    Posted March 30, 2015 at 7:00 pm |

    Sending your kids to public school is child abuse. Not necessarily physical, just mental and psychological.

    Somewhere there’s a news story about the kid who built a baking soda / vinegar volcano …….