what a tool

Dear City council of Munich,

I am writing this letter to bring to your attention something that I and many Muslims believe is unfair and requires attention. I would like to inform you that the Oktoberfest is an Intolerant and Anti-Islamic event. We tried to ignore the event, but there too many Un-Islamic acts done at the Oktoberfest. Such as alcohol consumption, public nudity etc.

We understand that the Oktoberfest is a yearly German tradition, but we, Muslims, can not tolerate this Un-Islamic event, because it offends us and all Muslims on the earth. We are requesting the immediate cancellation of the upcoming Oktoberfest event.

We also believe that the Oktoberfest might also offend all the Muslim refugees coming from Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan. The cancellation of the Oktoberfest event will help refugees not to forget their Islamic history. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Sincerely,
Morad ["the Tool"] Almuradi
[source]

Riiiiiight …

(What? Well, mebbe they could wear a head scarf with a dirndl*, but I’d miss seeing a nice pair of … braids.)
_________
Title cultural ref
* UPDATE: fashion note

11 Comments!

  1. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted September 19, 2015 at 9:13 pm |

    cancellation of the Oktoberfest event will help refugees not to forget their Islamic history
    I was just thinking Murad the Tool’s letter might help Germans remember islamic history too….. and give them more incentive to throw the goatfuckers out.

    Better send the Krauts a copy of Trump’s book on muzzie immigration policy:
    F***k Off, Get Out Of Here. I Don’t Ever Want To See You Again.

  2. Fawkes News (#FearTheVotingDead)
    Posted September 20, 2015 at 4:33 am |

    If you don’t like beer, don’t come to Bavaria.

    There’s a thought.

  3. mojo
    Posted September 20, 2015 at 10:56 am |

    Munich in the Fall, such a gorgeous town. The Linden trees, the Ocktoberfest, Dirndls…

    Here’s an idea: all Germans attending the “celebration of last year’s beer” should take an implement along with them to the beer gardens. Billy club, whatever.

    Any noisy Muslims show up, tap and drag.

  4. accipiterNW
    Posted September 20, 2015 at 11:54 am |

    Should make a Mohammed Lager. Then they can have a “Draw Mohammed Day Month. Diversity thru beer!

  5. PeggyU
    Posted September 20, 2015 at 3:28 pm |

    Muslims probably don’t like infidel beer because it has a head on it.

  6. DougM (quiet, keeps to himself, kind of a loner, nobody thought he’d do anything like this)
    Posted September 21, 2015 at 8:45 am |

    ^ Oh, *owwwwch*!

  7. Rick
    Posted September 21, 2015 at 12:45 pm |

    Time for a beer summit.

  8. DougM (quiet, keeps to himself, kind of a loner, nobody thought he’d do anything like this)
    Posted September 21, 2015 at 1:47 pm |

    ^ *heh*
    Which got me to thinking …
    Why hasn’t Obama suggested to the #BlackLivesMatter crowd that they invite the local cops for a Beer Summit?

  9. ZZMike
    Posted September 21, 2015 at 2:28 pm |

    “Another thing: this weird language you speak here. We realize that like all languages, it descends from the perfect language, the language that Allah (PBBBBBT) taught us, but it is so far descended that it offends our ears. We need you to pass a law saying that in 10 years, Arabic will be the official – and only – language in Germany. And the rest of the EU.

    Thank you for your attention in this matter, and if you don’t comply, we will revive the fine old German tradition of “Köpfe ab”.

  10. ZZMike
    Posted September 21, 2015 at 2:30 pm |

    PS: mojo : Prosit!

  11. Fawkes News (#FearTheVotingDead)
    Posted September 21, 2015 at 2:36 pm |

    Maßkrüge make for excellent blunt force weapons. The clay ones pack a bigger punch, but the glass ones will work, too. Just be sure to finish the beer first.