All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

…”If a student feels hurt or offended by another student’s comment, the hurt student can say ‘ouch,’” the university said. “In acknowledgment, the student who made the hurtful comment says ‘oops.’”…

13 Comments!

  1. Paladin
    Posted March 21, 2017 at 1:04 pm |

    How about manning up and actually be exposed to a new idea without running to your room to watch cat videos whilst you stop hyperventilating after shouting, “RACIST!” at the top of your lungs.

    Try growing a pair so you don’t feel hurt if someone says something you don’t agree with, or mispronounces your name, or doesn’t buy into your nebulous pastel-colored world where the only constant is that reality takes a back seat to your feelings.

    One day reality is going to come crashing into your world with all the subtlety of a thermonuclear enema, and where do you think you’ll be when you can’t shout it down, grab your coloring books, suck on your thumb and hope it just goes away.

    You’re all grown up now, try to start acting like it.

    Penis.

  2. DougM (tasteless dork, talentless hack, world class narcissist, dickhead, idiot)
    Posted March 21, 2017 at 1:17 pm |

    Duels.
    Bring back duels, and let’s see what level of triggering gets tolerated.

  3. DougM (tasteless dork, talentless hack, world class narcissist, dickhead, idiot)
    Posted March 21, 2017 at 1:45 pm |

    Speaking of kindergarten…

  4. DougM (tasteless dork, talentless hack, world class narcissist, dickhead, idiot)
    Posted March 21, 2017 at 2:04 pm |

    Oh, also brats:

  5. Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause*
    Posted March 21, 2017 at 3:51 pm |

    makes me wanna trigger ‘em til they ass-plode

  6. Posted March 21, 2017 at 4:54 pm |

    ^^ Doug
    I see a heart attack in somebody’s future.

  7. Daemon
    Posted March 21, 2017 at 6:08 pm |

    I think the only proper response to “ouch” is to “ouch” right back.

    Their “ouch” is a way to turn any disagreement into a grievance, while putting feels over reals, with no rational explanation necessary.

    Your “ouch” response implies that the first ouch is a micro-invalidation of your legitimate stance (which it invariably is), but also implies, “GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU MINDLESS, SPINELESS, NO-VALID-ARGUMENT WHINER”.

  8. DougM (talentless dork, talentless hack, world class narcissist, dickhead, idiot)
    Posted March 21, 2017 at 6:28 pm |

    ^ Or, as Mom said, “I’ll give you something to *ouch* about!”

  9. Posted March 21, 2017 at 6:45 pm |

    How do you take people like that seriously?
    Why try?

    Ouch!
    Be quiet, I’m trying to teach!

  10. Fawkes News
    Posted March 21, 2017 at 6:48 pm |

    Trees, meet forest.

  11. Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause*
    Posted March 22, 2017 at 8:44 am |

    makes me wanna trigger ‘em til they ass-plode…

    ^ Or, as Mom said, “I’ll give you something to *ouch* about!”
    –DM@8

    That’s what I meant!

    srsly, shouldn’t it really be “oopsie“?

  12. Joe Bandmember ≠ ® "damn right I'm not equal to that" ™
    Posted March 23, 2017 at 8:23 am |

    I hope I don’t get the “lactation room” mixed up with the “safe space” at work. Then again….

  13. rickn8or
    Posted March 24, 2017 at 10:26 am |

    Your “ouch” response implies that the first ouch is a micro-invalidation of your legitimate stance (which it invariably is), but also implies, “GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU MINDLESS, SPINELESS, NO-VALID-ARGUMENT WHINER”.

    Another application of the phrase “Go ugly early.”