Omenism (or We Are Allll Gonna Dieee!)

What can this meeean

Is this the end of the World?
Is this Allah’s curse on America?
Is this Google taking over?

Go outside! Bang your pots and pans! Light fireworks!
Frighten the demon awayyy! It’s eating the Suuun!

Oh, wait, hold on… no, the Sun’s coming back, now.
Must’a just been that Solar equal-lips thing, again.
Okay, I’ll admit it had me goin’ for a while, there.

Scientific explanation
Cool video of what an eclipse is plus a widget to show what you’ll see from your place and when
It’ll be 96% obscurity as viewed from the ol’ iHammock, but there is a risk of missing it when I inevitably doze off.

☟ And speaking of the Moon… ☟ »
This goes back about five years

How much of an omen can it be, if it’s, you know, predictable?
[insert millenia-old argument about "free will" here]
Also, this might be a good time for one to think kindly of that geek sci/math-major one picked-on in school.
Orrr, yeah, one could go back to banging pots & pans to frighten the demon away.

Nah, didn’t see anything.
Had to shade my eyes with my hand.
I’ll try again tonight.

(What? Yeah, I suppose there were a lot of people blinded in olden times as a result, some just blind drunk, though, I’m guessin’.)


Now, this is cool


  1. MikeAZ
    Posted August 21, 2017 at 5:15 am |

    Eclipse? So effing what? Remember back to Halley’s Comet? Ikyo Seiki? (Insert name of any other random stellar flop here)?

    Stupid people willingly spending $$Bazillions to people more than willing to take their money, and for what? Blindness because the eclipse glasses you bought were bogus? Reservations you booked years in advance along the Path of Totality (someone, somewhere is going to put up a plaque commemorating just how close they were to the Path,) cancelled because greedy corporations or landlords found someone even dumber than you willing to spend more money than you for “your space?”

    By the way, if where you’re at ends up cloud covered, do you get a refund?


    I’m staying home with people I can tolerate, sitting in my La-Z-Boy in front of my big screen TV, tuned in to ANY channel to watch what will probably turn into just another in a growing line of cosmic yawns.

    Hope you are the same.

  2. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted August 21, 2017 at 7:21 am |

    I’d hate to be on any interstate in the equal lips’ (™Doug) path. There we’ll see not a total equal lips, but twenty mile backups and rear ender chaos as fools slow or stop to look.

  3. SondraK, Queen of SondraKistan
    Posted August 21, 2017 at 9:59 am |

    It’s starting to look creeeeepeee outside………………………………..

  4. DougM and his platoon of raccoons
    Posted August 21, 2017 at 11:54 am |

    ^ You talkin’ about the eclipse or ‘Lympia in general?

  5. OldFert
    Posted August 21, 2017 at 12:15 pm |

    Dangit. I thought we were supposed to have an eCLAIRE. What a disappointment.

  6. Fat Baxter
    Posted August 21, 2017 at 12:23 pm |

    Silly rabbits — of course you can look directly at the eclipse. Just squirt some SPF 50 sunscreen in your eyes, and you’re good to go.

    Trust me on this……

  7. bogsidebunny
    Posted August 21, 2017 at 12:49 pm |

    I missed it because my mother made me promise to be inside before the street lights came on.

  8. JimB
    Posted August 21, 2017 at 2:30 pm |

    So… When do they throw the virgin into the volcano???

  9. Posted August 21, 2017 at 3:26 pm |

    Here in Oregon, we didn’t need to bother with driving or any of that, just went out in the yard with the NASA-certified glass that I picked up for a buck a pair last year, when nobody was looking. Great stuff. Seeing them in person is a pretty cool experience – this was the second for me, first for my daughter.

    Between the corona and the shadow effects, it’s a good time.

  10. Nomen Nescio
    Posted August 21, 2017 at 4:07 pm |

    Tried banging pots and pans for eight years. Didn’t work.

  11. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted August 21, 2017 at 4:12 pm |

    It was a bust here in central Virginia, at least in my neighborhood. First, we had only 85%, then a small cloud moved in at the witching moment to obscure the sun, while there was 360 degrees of blue sky all around it. It did get noticeably cooler though, and being outside painting, I appreciated that.
    Glad I’ve seen a couple before.

    D’ya ‘spose the Gorebals took any notice of the cooling? Yannow, less sun = cooler?

  12. Posted August 21, 2017 at 4:30 pm |

    I drove ten miles south to my sister’s house, here in north Alabama. She fixed lunch, poured me a beer and had a couple of #14 welder’s goggles her husband got from Amazon. Amazon refunded their money because of some certification issue but told them to keep the goggles – Amazon didn’t want them back. It was a 97% eclipse. Fun was had by everyone and that’s it from Alabama.

  13. Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause*
    Posted August 21, 2017 at 6:37 pm |

    Clouds. Big phat foggy clouds. for miles around.

    wtf — it’s NEVAR cloudy in Aug in CA.

    I blame Shemp Smith.

  14. gsebes
    Posted August 21, 2017 at 7:30 pm |

    ^^ Shemp… : )

  15. WeeBrowser
    Posted August 21, 2017 at 10:23 pm |

    You misspelled Onanism.

  16. MikeAZ
    Posted August 22, 2017 at 5:43 am |

    Dutch Brothers Coffee, which gave out lotsa viewing glasses prior to the Greatest Flop on Earth, was extra busy recalling them yesterday, in exchange for a free drink. Seems that the glasses had a pedigree problem and may have been little more than cheap plastic and cardboard.

    Well, yeah, they’re pretty much ALL cheap plastic and cardboard, but these were cheaper, and ya know, it was probably Trump or Bannon’s fault. You KNOW how THEY are!

  17. DougM and his platoon of raccoons
    Posted August 22, 2017 at 9:41 am |

    WeeBrowser^^ wins the find-the-hidden-joke prize, today.
    (What? Well, weee thought it was funny.)