ToDaZeD Haiti-fornia *facepalm*

Life as a Prole in the NationState of Haiti-fornia — Day 3

“California is America’s coming attraction.”

–PrettyPretty Gavin Newsome, Proud Governor of Haitifornia

I gotta tells ya; it’s quite a thrill to flip a switch and *bam* it’s light in here. Push a button and *vroom* it starts to get warm in here. The water pressure goes up, the coffee heats, ahhhhhhhh… I HEART Fossil Fuels!

Yepperee, about 10:30 last nite, Teh Mister got a call from the PG&E tool-belt wearers [among whom we've made some good pals ] saying he was at the gate and on the way to replace our pole fuses cuz we got powah! W00t!

[Aside: srsly, people are stupid: these guys were saying that they'd been cussed at, glared at, and flipped off all day - on sites and on the road. People, please: it's not the guys in the toolbelts: it's the guys in the ties that got us here and will keep us here. The PUC appointed by the politicians: cuss them out ]

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, they replaced the fuses they had pulled so they wouldn’t blow and make fire when the newly turned on power surged thru. They didn’t ‘replace the fuses’ with new fuses cuz that kind of fuse set-up isn’t even made any more. Hasn’t been for years. Decades? We’ve been promised that the work order to change out the whole works to the “new” fuses is “on the list” for a coupla years now. Meanwhile, the guys have some of the old ones saved out and hidden “just in case.”

NB The above is a fictional representation printed solely for the purpose of humorous content.

‘S funny. People talking under difficult or unusual circumstances often go beyond the ordinary superficialities and the real shiite plops out. And thus we find that we have much more in common than we have been led to believe by the “common wisdom” which tells us that the story below actually, of course, makes sense to everyone.

The CEO of PG&E has apologized after it was revealed several of its employees mingled with some of its top [natural gas] customers at a wine tasting event paid for by the company while hundreds of thousands of people in California were facing an unprecedented power outage.[Classism!!!]

…the [Silver Oak Winery*] in question is located in Sonoma County, an area which was hit by major wildfires in 2017, the cause of which were blamed on PG&E power poles igniting.

“I want to apologize to every one of our customers,” [Bill Johnson, CEO of the utility's parent company PG&E Corp.] said. “Insensitive, inappropriate, tone deaf are the terms I would use to describe this.”

soooo…. Yer telling me that once you’ve burned down someone’s business/town, it is “insensitive, inappropriate, tone deaf” to employ them to stage a high-end dinner event. Which is their daily business.

Or it it “insensitive, inappropriate, tone deaf” to wine & dine big customers?

What’s the knee-jerk here? Don’t rub it in the faces of the proles that Our Betters&trade have fancy events? Even if that is business of Prole Town? October is harvest/crush season – a very time-sensitive process. Very. This outage cost the industry a pretty penny. But giving them the business of even one evening’s entertainment is somehow “insensitive, inappropriate, tone deaf?!?!” wtf.

Yeah. We had a lot of conversations in the yard with a lot of people who see things just as we do but who each believe they and their family are alone is this vast Prog wasteland. I tell each one, we gotta speak out just like we’re doing now, say what we see. We gotta mock the snowflakes, just cuz it’s fun. Only then will we — and they — learn just how small a minority they are.

Mockable, see?

[PrettyPrettyGavin Newsom, Gov of Haitifornia] This is not, from my perspective, a climate change story as much as a story about greed and mismanagement.”

“A desire to advance not public safety but profits. Over the course of years and years and years, the kind of hardening of the grid was not done,”

“It’s decisions that were not made that have led to this moment in PG&E’s history and the state of California as it relates to our major investor-owned utility,”

Is that the “There it is!” moment? The Plan to nationalize [state-ize?] the Electric Utility?

Let’s be clear about our “major investor-owned utility”: the majority of investors / stock owners are pension funds [nurses, teachers, cops, etc]. Yanno; widows and orphans. 401K holders.

Hey, PrettyPrettyGavin, tell us about the politcian-appointed PUC without whose permission PG&E can do nothing. Nothing, like, say, fix / maintain their equipment. Nothing, say, like funnel the funds for fixing said equipment into …. well, where is the money that didn’t go to dividend-earners, PrettyPrettyGavin? PG&E has paid no dividends for a coupla years now. That money ain’t going to those in the lawsuits. It sure ain’t going to fix ["harden" hahahahahahahahaaa] the lines.

Let’s not even go into the stories of the 80′s, 90′s, 2000′s, etc, etc. Let’s not berate people for “wasting $4 gas to charge their phones in their cars” [1 gallon?]. What most will be doing is charging their phones in their cars while crossing the border to Nevada as they drive to their new homes in all points East of here.

uh oh… Apparently the northern San Fernando valley has a big fire going on; started last night. “Cause unknown at this time”

Using Haiti-fornia Logyk, tell me what’s worng with this pic?


  1. Jess
    Posted October 11, 2019 at 10:48 am |

    Upgrading the service would mean a bureaucrat’s third cousin’s nephew wouldn’t get a new desk. How can you be so selfish?

  2. Grover Cleveland Brown
    Posted October 11, 2019 at 12:43 pm |

    You graze it.
    You grade it.
    You watch it burn.
    Pick one.

  3. DougM (speak three names)
    Posted October 11, 2019 at 1:13 pm |

    Re: update
    Well, seeee?
    Electrical power ON —> fire

  4. Blake
    Posted October 11, 2019 at 4:56 pm |

    @claire, regarding generator..I’m south of you, in Kern County, and managed to buy a generator online and pick it up at the local Lowes. However, I got one of the last ones, as they were flying off the shelves locally.

    My wife and I are lucky, we can afford the $1,200 to get a decent generator, gas cans, etc.

    I feel badly for those who cannot.

  5. DougM (speak three names)
    Posted October 11, 2019 at 5:07 pm |

    I have a suspicion that the only reason they were actually permitted to do the power outage was because it didn’t affect the homeless

  6. Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause*
    Posted October 11, 2019 at 6:13 pm |

    Agreed, Blake @4. The Mister picked ours up just for fence work a few years ago. Harbor Freight special and it’s a goodun.

    There were very few generators [2?] at work in the local 55+ housing development [2nd home kinda thing for many]. Buncha Proggies there, tho.

    I noticed the tent cities had moved from along the frontage road where there was no power across the freeway to the lit section. Because… can’t score in the dark? can’t hit a vein in the dark? fires are easier to see in the dark?


  7. Lord of the Fleas
    Posted October 11, 2019 at 6:14 pm |

    Gotta say. Claire, I really like your “Haiti-fornia” formulation.

    I’ve seen Californicate, and Calfrutopia, but reference to Haiti really encapsulates the states’s slide back into the ooze.

  8. DougM (speak three names)
    Posted October 11, 2019 at 6:38 pm |

    ^ Only reason CA still functions, and Haiti doesn’t, is that the Clinton Foundation didn’t help CA

  9. DougM (speak three names)
    Posted October 11, 2019 at 6:40 pm |

    I’ll just leave this here

  10. Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause*
    Posted October 11, 2019 at 8:37 pm |

    DM@9 – That’s …chilling.

  11. Blake
    Posted October 12, 2019 at 6:35 am |

    @Claire..this whole proggy thing has been quite the education, hasn’t it? The more you know, the more you wish you didn’t know…

    @Doug, is that a real picture? If so, good grief…though, I sorta doubt it, as the LA basin had power throughout the blackout, from what I understand, as did where I live.

    I saw somewhere, probably Ace, maybe here? the power outages are a trial run to condition the populace for the true utopia of commie/green rule!

  12. DougM (speak three names)
    Posted October 12, 2019 at 11:05 am |

    ^ Nah, not real
    Look in the lower LH corner.
    There’s a “Ps” for PhotoShop.
    Months ago, I started adding that to any pic I’ve modified that might be mistaken for real.

    I modify most of the pics I use for presentability (hue, saturation, contrast, focus, background, etc.) and/or crop ‘em to fit;
    but if the reality of the original isn’t changed, or if it’s an obvious Photoshop, I don’t “Ps” it.

    Of course, I didn’t add “Ps” to the first version of the pic, here.
    Then thought: somebody’s gonna wonder if it’s real, so I added the “Ps”

    Thanks for asking.
    Gives me hope for the eventual triumph of observation, reason, and skepticism
    based on fundamental truths

  13. DougM (speak three names)
    Posted October 12, 2019 at 11:47 am |

    More jokes than I can steal,
    so have fun

  14. Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause*
    Posted October 12, 2019 at 12:33 pm |


    There it is!!!

  15. DougM (speak three names)
    Posted October 12, 2019 at 3:50 pm |

    ^ I like Haitifornia, too.
    Was gonna do a poll, but it’s your joke

  16. Blake
    Posted October 12, 2019 at 3:55 pm |


    Might as well for go for the politically incorrect gold.

  17. DougM (speak three names)
    Posted October 12, 2019 at 4:18 pm |

    There’s always Calamity

  18. Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause*
    Posted October 13, 2019 at 9:36 am |

    pretty on the nose…
    ‘sides I don’t wanna change my name to Jane.

    I prefer my new name: S. Cape.
    [might be some interesting fashion choices come from that name, too. ; > ]

  19. DougM (speak three names)
    Posted October 13, 2019 at 11:10 am |

    ^ The tights are a cute idea, but you’ll have to change clothes in a phone booth

  20. Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause*
    Posted October 14, 2019 at 7:22 am |

    ^Good thing my tights have pockets cuz that’s where I gotta keep my fone. No fone booths here — that’s called “housing.”

  21. DougM (speak three names)
    Posted October 14, 2019 at 11:42 am |

    ^ You just made me hate myself for laughing