Quick-thinking *clank* of the month living memory

“A guy who was with us at Fishmongers Hall took a 5’ narwhal tusk from the wall and went out to confront the attacker … You can see him standing over the man (with what looks like a white pole) in the video.”


[Removed my Ps]


Pythonesque
Scene: Terrorist training camp
Student: What if someone has a narwhal tusk?
_____
Story
Cultural ref

Schlichter wins the internet
[I've learned to set my coffee & cigar down when reading his stuff]

more ( SondraK)

Sooo… this terrorist was a right-winger?

Don’t miss Stilton’s take

13 Comments!

  1. Paul
    Posted November 30, 2019 at 8:15 am |

    BAN 5’ narwhal tusk!!!

    Turn in your tusk so we won’t have a fuss!

  2. Lord of the Fleas
    Posted November 30, 2019 at 8:59 am |

    Concealed carry with a 5′ tusk ain’t easy. You gotta develop a kind of silly walk to disguise the thing.

  3. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted November 30, 2019 at 10:48 am |

    That field expedient should be in military manuals.
    BZ!!

  4. mech
    Posted November 30, 2019 at 1:05 pm |

    Apparently the unicorn horn owners were carrying concealed.
    Or were they?

  5. Posted November 30, 2019 at 2:14 pm |

    I’m guessing there is now an extensive search throughout England for the dastardly wretch that actually killed that narwhal. When captured, he will be hung in the town square while the family of the islamist knife attacker will be given the key to the city of London.

  6. DougM (not a first-hand witness, either)
    Posted November 30, 2019 at 2:25 pm |

    Two terrorists walk into a Hell bar
    T1: My finger slipped while finishing building a bomb. You?
    T2: Narwhal tusk

    (What? Hey, they’re already in Hell. How would Satan punish violating sharia law by drinking? Well, I mean besides light beer.)

  7. Posted November 30, 2019 at 4:47 pm |

    That’s exactly what some people will do in a real life, crisis situation – look for a weapon, and then attack! Unlike, the cottage cheese rear-end “writers” in hollywood where all their victims are stupid, helpless and easy to kill. Kudos to the man with the Narwhal tusk!

  8. SondraKarys, Khaleesi of SondraKistan
    Posted November 30, 2019 at 5:52 pm |

    Narwal tusk with an AR15 attachment

  9. Blake
    Posted November 30, 2019 at 7:06 pm |

    I’d rather a narwhal tusk with the SAW attachment.

  10. MikeAZ
    Posted December 1, 2019 at 7:37 am |

    We comment, but the sad fact is, this murderous Islamist killed innocent people because 1)he was allowed out of prison before his sentence had been served, and 2)because (not so) Great Britain didn’t have sense enough to send him back where he came from the instant he stepped out of prison.

    Sadly, they invite these things upon themselves by allowing unrestricted immigration and by disarming their law-abiding citizens. It is good to see, however, that quick thinking passers-by knew where to find and how to use improvised weapons to bring this sad event to an end.

  11. Thunderbottom
    Posted December 1, 2019 at 11:31 am |

    So, are the tusk wielder and the guy with the fire extinguisher in possible trouble for not waiting for the police to show up and handle the situation?

  12. dick, not quite dead white guy
    Posted December 1, 2019 at 10:03 pm |

    “…are the tusk wielder and the guy with the fire extinguisher in possible trouble…”
    In bigger trouble because the weapons were not registered to them and operated without the owners’ permission.

  13. drew458
    Posted December 2, 2019 at 6:04 am |

    Narwhals!!