Quick-thinking *clank* of the month living memory


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  1. BAN 5’ narwhal tusk!!!

    Turn in your tusk so we won’t have a fuss!

    Comment by Paul — November 30, 2019 @ 8:15 am

  2. Concealed carry with a 5′ tusk ain’t easy. You gotta develop a kind of silly walk to disguise the thing.

    Comment by Lord of the Fleas — November 30, 2019 @ 8:59 am

  3. That field expedient should be in military manuals.

    Comment by dick, not quite dead white guy — November 30, 2019 @ 10:48 am

  4. Apparently the unicorn horn owners were carrying concealed.
    Or were they?

    Comment by mech — November 30, 2019 @ 1:05 pm

  5. I’m guessing there is now an extensive search throughout England for the dastardly wretch that actually killed that narwhal. When captured, he will be hung in the town square while the family of the islamist knife attacker will be given the key to the city of London.

    Comment by Holger — November 30, 2019 @ 2:14 pm

  6. Two terrorists walk into a Hell bar
    T1: My finger slipped while finishing building a bomb. You?
    T2: Narwhal tusk

    (What? Hey, they’re already in Hell. How would Satan punish violating sharia law by drinking? Well, I mean besides light beer.)

    Comment by DougM (not a first-hand witness, either) — November 30, 2019 @ 2:25 pm

  7. That’s exactly what some people will do in a real life, crisis situation – look for a weapon, and then attack! Unlike, the cottage cheese rear-end “writers” in hollywood where all their victims are stupid, helpless and easy to kill. Kudos to the man with the Narwhal tusk!

    Comment by bo1921 — November 30, 2019 @ 4:47 pm

  8. Narwal tusk with an AR15 attachment

    Comment by SondraKarys, Khaleesi of SondraKistan — November 30, 2019 @ 5:52 pm

  9. I’d rather a narwhal tusk with the SAW attachment.

    Comment by Blake — November 30, 2019 @ 7:06 pm

  10. We comment, but the sad fact is, this murderous Islamist killed innocent people because 1)he was allowed out of prison before his sentence had been served, and 2)because (not so) Great Britain didn’t have sense enough to send him back where he came from the instant he stepped out of prison.

    Sadly, they invite these things upon themselves by allowing unrestricted immigration and by disarming their law-abiding citizens. It is good to see, however, that quick thinking passers-by knew where to find and how to use improvised weapons to bring this sad event to an end.

    Comment by MikeAZ — December 1, 2019 @ 7:37 am

  11. So, are the tusk wielder and the guy with the fire extinguisher in possible trouble for not waiting for the police to show up and handle the situation?

    Comment by Thunderbottom — December 1, 2019 @ 11:31 am

  12. “…are the tusk wielder and the guy with the fire extinguisher in possible trouble…”
    In bigger trouble because the weapons were not registered to them and operated without the owners’ permission.

    Comment by dick, not quite dead white guy — December 1, 2019 @ 10:03 pm

  13. Narwhals!!

    Comment by drew458 — December 2, 2019 @ 6:04 am

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