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  1. Having been deployed to Japan, a total of 5 years, I am qualified to speak about the *real fucking reason* to avoid Japan.

    It is: You cannot get a decent FUCKING PIZZA!!!!!!!!!!!

    Comment by Colonel Jerry USMC — April 27, 2012 @ 8:07 am

  2. I confirm, Col. Jerry. I ordered pizza in Nakagomi (about 100 klicks north of Tokyo) and got something made with goat cheese and squid that was smothered with potatoes au gratin.

    Comment by Another Bob — April 27, 2012 @ 8:18 am

  3. I’d suggest the U.S. needs to ban lawnmowers, but I need to cut my yard.

    Comment by Jess — April 27, 2012 @ 8:33 am

  4. They missed the biggest danger. 95% of people who die, die in bed. I’ve been sleeping on the floor for years now.
    As to lawnmowers, when people hand hold them to trim hedges, smoke while refueling them and ride them on public roads and 100% grades, it’s no surprise.
    Next from Nanny State: lawnmower qualifications and permits.

    Comment by dick, not quite dead white guy — April 27, 2012 @ 8:49 am

  5. And never, ever, mow your lawn.

    Comment by mojo — April 27, 2012 @ 8:53 am

  6. Come up to Canuk land, apparently we don’t die often enough to make the list!

    Comment by mitchel44 — April 27, 2012 @ 9:38 am

  7. This is great fun for those of us inflicted with morbid curiosity. A lot of them make sense. Snake bites in India, terrorism in Iraq, AIDS in Zimbabwe, shark attacks in Oz, but I did not realize driving in Namibia was so dangerous.

    Comment by snap-e-tom — April 27, 2012 @ 9:50 am

  8. Iran seems to have it all under control. There, they kill you before you can kill yourself.

    Comment by Jess — April 27, 2012 @ 10:05 am

  9. “Mad Dog” Tannen suspected

    Comment by mojo — April 27, 2012 @ 10:09 am

  10. Falling out of bed?
    In Hungry you fall out of bed
    and land on your head
    You’re dead.

    Comment by geezerette — April 27, 2012 @ 10:23 am

  11. mitchel44 (6)
    Fishing to death is not a category.

    Comment by DougM (jackassophobe) — April 27, 2012 @ 2:31 pm

  12. geezerette…. please tell me that is a carrot or other veggie in your avatar :)
    LOL!
    I keep starin’ at it tryin’ to figure it out.

    Comment by Melissa In Texas — April 27, 2012 @ 2:39 pm

  13. Melissa — I figured it was one of those dangling participles I heard so much about in high school English class.

    Comment by Fat Baxter — April 27, 2012 @ 2:49 pm

  14. Melissa— it’s a wiener on a wiener— we bought them at a special huge local meat shop in Green Bay Wisconsin—they are all strung together when you buy them– just waiting for the perfect time to use it— like the Dog eat Dog– or hot dog—–or as I call it the OHB hot dog. Cracked us up!!!

    Comment by geezerette — April 27, 2012 @ 4:47 pm

  15. I’ve been wrong all these years

    http://cheezburger.com/6155639040

    Comment by Spin — April 27, 2012 @ 5:37 pm

  16. Cancer for Denmark?
    Aren’t they held up as an example of why we should socialize our healthcare system?

    Comment by Buzz — April 27, 2012 @ 6:23 pm

  17. Spin (15)
    Caution: that place is addictive.
    … and educational. Didn’t know that about gingers.

    Comment by DougM (jackassophobe) — April 27, 2012 @ 7:48 pm

  18. ^ Pssst, don’t tell Claire or Dammit Woman ^

    Comment by Spin — April 27, 2012 @ 7:53 pm

  19. Melissa, no trips to swaziland for you. ;-)

    Comment by mech — April 27, 2012 @ 9:38 pm

  20. When they told me that most accidents happen within 25 miles of home- I moved. Now I have to pave over my lawn.

    Comment by Paul Moore — April 28, 2012 @ 2:25 am

  21. South Americans never die?

    Comment by logdogsmith — April 28, 2012 @ 8:13 am

  22. I’ve always known I was going to be blown up. You guys might want to be somewhere else that day.

    Comment by MikeG — April 28, 2012 @ 1:15 pm

  23. mech (19)
    Yeah, forgot about our Little Ms Lightin’ Rod.
    Lesson: don’t stand next to an “attractive” lady in an electrical storm.

    Comment by DougM (jackassophobe) — April 28, 2012 @ 1:52 pm

  24. Hey! I resemble that remark. When we have storms move in, I will walk under the back patio and none of my co-workers will stand near me. LOL!

    Comment by Melissa In Texas — April 28, 2012 @ 2:53 pm

  25. Mech (19) + Doug (23): a trip to swaziland — here ya go…

    http://sonofsoylentgreen.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/deannasorceress.jpg

    Comment by Ironic in Denver — April 28, 2012 @ 3:13 pm

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