today’s audience participation

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  1. To crush my enemies, to see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

    Comment by Mumblix Grumph — August 17, 2012 @ 8:10 am

  2. Relaxing in the enjoyment of my unspectacular but satisfying success while maintaining a comfortable savings balance for a guy who’s been married to a compulsive buyer for 50 years, remaining debt-free in a lien-free home and paid-for car, and continuing to draw air into the body I spent decades trying to destroy through abusive activities and childish self-indulgence.

    All else is whipped cream on the sundae.

    Comment by bocopro — August 17, 2012 @ 8:11 am

  3. I’d go with the Grumph on this one if I weren’t just too damned tired. Good goal, tho.

    Comment by bocopro — August 17, 2012 @ 8:12 am

  4. Today: Make it through another Sahara day in Western WA.

    This year: See Obama go out in a landslide.

    Long term: Make it to retirement.

    Comment by JoeBandMember® ≠ ∞ — August 17, 2012 @ 8:14 am

  5. Keep my stage four Missus alive and happy as long as possible.

    Comment by Paul Moore — August 17, 2012 @ 8:22 am

  6. I find priorities become heavy baggage and ultimately destroy the contentment of living. So, I keep them simple. Today’s priority is to enjoy my sandwich at lunch and try not to kill anyone out of anger.

    Comment by Jess — August 17, 2012 @ 8:24 am

  7. 1.Keep Jesus in my heart.
    2.Love and help my family as best as I can.
    3.Do the best I can to keep .GoV out of my life.

    Comment by blindshooter — August 17, 2012 @ 8:49 am

  8. My family and to try to stay healthy. Doing pretty good so far.

    Comment by geezerette — August 17, 2012 @ 8:57 am

  9. P.S. and not to turn into a grumpy ole bitch. See:))

    Comment by geezerette — August 17, 2012 @ 9:04 am

  10. bocopro 2: nice essay. I’d have to tweak the parameters some for myself, but it’s a fine framework.

    Grumph 1: Go ahead and crush you enemies and see them driven before you, while I make of with their women. I’ll tell them I’m rescuing them from you. (*snerk*)

    Well for myself, #1 is clearing off the remains of a past life and getting organized for what I hope is a new and better one.

    (I also want to spend more time at the range, but that’s difficult to do and (sadly) not #1.)

    Comment by Ironic in Denver — August 17, 2012 @ 9:07 am

  11. To wake up tomorrow.

    Comment by Alan outback bacon czar — August 17, 2012 @ 9:15 am

  12. To just be left alone and to save enough money so that I don’t need to rely on someone else in my old age.

    Comment by PatrickP — August 17, 2012 @ 9:33 am

  13. Safety and secure future for my family. If I didn’t have children, I wouldn’t have an investment in the future, and I surely wouldn’t spend time agitating to change things. So many things I’d rather do. :)

    Comment by PeggyU — August 17, 2012 @ 9:39 am

  14. Killing Terrorist and individuals who threaten our way of life.

    Comment by Ranger Joe — August 17, 2012 @ 9:42 am

  15. It’s not a priority, but it is surly a wish that Biden remain on the ticket.

    Here’s the very best campaign ad for Joe I’ve seen yet, though I don’t think it’s gonna get run by the Dem reelection committee:
    http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/republicans-unite-around-biden_650128.html

    And a quote from the surrounding article:

    “Years from now, men and women of good will laud President Obama for his decency, his loyalty—nay, his humanity—in resisting all entreaties to cast Joe Biden overboard, in refusing to leave Joe Biden a prophet without honor in his own party, in standing by his man Joe. There are worse things than being a one-term president.”

    And the nifty article that it references is here:
    http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/stand-your-man_650094.html

    Who says Republicans lack a sense of humor?

    Comment by Ironic in Denver — August 17, 2012 @ 10:06 am

  16. Are you asking what my priorities are based on the way I act, or the way I think?

    When I think about it, my number 1 priority is my God.

    When I think about what I mostly do, my number one priority appears to be eating.

    Comment by logdogsmith — August 17, 2012 @ 10:14 am

  17. That handsome lad as my Avatar, as he’s the youngest of my Five, then the rest of them, as they are all at the age of independence.

    My lovely wife of three years, and keeping a comfortable lifestyle.

    Comment by Wollf — August 17, 2012 @ 10:39 am

  18. Total Global Domination…..if I weren’t so dang lazy…..

    Comment by joe — August 17, 2012 @ 10:42 am

  19. To live long enough to see Teh Won, Slow Joe, Blinky Pelosi, Whorehouse Harry, Rahm Emanuel and Eric Holder doing the perp walk.

    Comment by rickn8or — August 17, 2012 @ 10:42 am

  20. Long as I`m dreamin; dream big! Three things. Own and have infinite fuel & maintenance—– A DC-9 passenger jet. An F-18 Hornet. And a 1929 2-seat Great Lakes open cockpit biplane.

    1.DC-9 passenger jet. Once a month I pick up The Porch from all over America; fly them to The Asylum and grabass/set world policy/ and have clothes optional cosmic dinners.

    2. F18 Hornet w unlimited maintenance/fuel/ordnance—to randomly deprogram coastal LibTurd slash RAT enclaves using scmart bombs & asshole homing missiles.

    3.Great Lakes Biplane. To fly by myself or with nature-loving passenger to experience what Nature offers to eagles; a magnificant view, the feel of soaring in air, amongst white clouds casting shadows on all the wonderful earth features of this great land. To fly in canyons, just above rivers, wending my way through trees of green forests as vast as the horizon——–and——————-then slowing down, at low altitude, to take telephotic pictures of nudist camps, then near sunset to land and meet a fully stocked short bus w camping equipment to have a steak and lobster dinner and afterwards, to log the days observations in a diary under lamp light and drift off to sleep and savor a cool, insect free, night under the stars where I have wonderful dreams and awaken to a crisp yet mild sunrise and morning that makes me look forward to and salivate over a quiet breakfast, accompanied by the sounds of all sorts of wild birds; singing to the new day!!!!

    I drink coffee and take a bowel movement, followed by an engine start in the fresh and crisp air and get the fuck back to my place; make dinner and watch NetFlix………………

    Or not………………………………………………………………………………………….

    Comment by Colonel Jerry USMC — August 17, 2012 @ 11:06 am

  21. It use to be my children. But they are older now and want me to start doing things for me. Yea, my children are still my #1.

    But I like Col. J.s idea of a fun weekend too.

    Comment by tctsunami — August 17, 2012 @ 12:08 pm

  22. And speaking of fun weekends . . .

    Around 1988 or so after I’d retired from the USN, I did an internship at a local high school as the final step before the state bestowed their blessing upon me in the form of a teacher’s license.

    The cagey old gal appointed as my mentor had assigned her 9th grade class to write an essay giving specific details on the who/what/when/where/why & how of a perfect weekend. My job was to read and assess their work, then give show her how I would mark up and grade each paper.

    One little redheaded girl’s paper on her concept of a perfect weekend was with Motley Crue in a resort hotel in stark and grisly detail of how she would do what particular act with whom and in what order.

    I told Mrs. Gallagher that the kid had a future in the entertainment business and said I’d give the paper a grade of A for relevance to the assignment, B for grammar, B+ for readability, and F for common sense.

    The ol’ veteran never missed a beat. Said, “You got it,” and went on with the next week’s lesson plans.

    One young boy’s adventure included stealing parts from an auto store warehouse, selling them for profit, and buying beer and marijuana with the proceeds.

    Hey, it was only fiction, right? I did slip a Xerox copy to the campus resource (city cop) officer, tho. Figgered it might come in handy one day.

    A young lady in the AP class I taught slipped me a rolled-up collection of single sheets bound with a purple ribbon. Each page was a fairly brief poem, and they got darker and more depressing in progression. The final one contained images of no way to escape the pain and degradation except via the door to the next world.

    At the bottom of the last page, she had written, “I know you’ll understand, because anyone who can explain Emily Dickinson the way you can is very experienced and wise.”

    I did, and I gave a copy to the school nurse, who gave ‘em to a shrink, who called child services, who took the kid out of her home and arrested the father and uncle for child sexual abuse.

    One can often learn more at the big desk in front of the class than in one of the those in rows facing the chalkboard.

    Comment by bocopro — August 17, 2012 @ 12:45 pm

  23. When I think about it, my number 1 priority is my God and keeping the faith that HE knows what is best for me.
    2nd would be finding a job and a place to live, quickly.

    Comment by Melissa In Texas — August 17, 2012 @ 12:55 pm

  24. #5 Keep my stage four Missus alive and happy as long as possible.
    God bless you both.

    Comment by Melissa In Texas — August 17, 2012 @ 1:09 pm

  25. Give me tomorrow and the will, strength, intelligence and compassion to make the most of it.

    And Paul, may God do the same for you and your Missus.

    Comment by dick, not quite dead white guy — August 17, 2012 @ 1:22 pm

  26. bocopro #22 you choked me up with that one– thank God she was a good judge of the character of the person she knew would help her.
    #24 Stage 4 Missus?? I know it’s none of my business but after having gone thru that ???
    All of you — you guys are great!!

    Comment by geezerette — August 17, 2012 @ 1:25 pm

  27. Geezerette

    In the denouement to that li’l vignette, I was teaching at the university a coupla years later when that same little dowdy fat girl (now a slender, vibrant young woman whom I didn’t recognize at first) came running up to me in the Commons (student cafeteria/auditorium/rathskellar), went airborne, and wrapped herself around me like a Burmese python on a swamp deer.

    Kissed me on the cheek and put on a grin that showed a whole mouthful of teeth. Said that she had been placed in her deceased mother’s family’s care and made heir to her father’s possessions upon her 23rd birthday (which was about 3 years hence).

    Smiled at me and patted my hand for about 10 minutes, then scurried off with her friends to go watch the basketball game.

    Had I broken a confidence? Yes. Was I supposed to? Legally, no, I s’pose, but morally yes. No regrets . . . on either side of it. Bein a hard-ass sumbitch can be a good thing at times.

    Comment by bocopro — August 17, 2012 @ 1:50 pm

  28. I used to be a bad drunk.

    Through God’s grace I’ve been sober more that 40 years now. I try to live in such a way as to be worthy of that gift.

    Some days I succeed.

    Comment by LoudLight — August 17, 2012 @ 2:08 pm

  29. DAMMIT, MUMBLIX!

    Comment by Annoyed White Male — August 17, 2012 @ 3:36 pm

  30. Escape

    Comment by Caged Insanity — August 17, 2012 @ 4:33 pm

  31. Keeping my Momma as healthy and comfortable as possible.

    Comment by S2 — August 17, 2012 @ 5:49 pm

  32. My number one priority? I *knew* I forgot something!

    Comment by Merovign — August 17, 2012 @ 5:58 pm

  33. The next breath.
    Sometimes it’s takin’ a pee, but usually it’s the next breath.
    Okay, on the rare occasion, it’s stopping the bleeding.
    This one time? It was not letting go until I found a foothold. No breaths.

    Comment by DougM (November is coming) — August 17, 2012 @ 6:12 pm

  34. Today it has been keeping my 15 month old newbee climber from cracking her skull on the concrete floor, overall it’s my kids in general; feed, clothed, housed, educated, entertained, guided, loved, etc.

    Comment by katzemeow — August 17, 2012 @ 6:26 pm

  35. #27 I wish I could give you a hug to— you hard ass sumbitch. We never do those things expecting anyone to know what we did but there you were the ole swamp deer.

    Comment by geezerette — August 17, 2012 @ 7:47 pm

  36. Reading through this string of comments shows me that I don’t have any real problems.

    Except being a poor example of a grateful follower of Jesus Christ.

    So improving on that is my NEW number one priority.

    Comment by JoeBandMember® — August 17, 2012 @ 8:18 pm

  37. #5 Paul my sincere prayers to you and your wife with the others here that have mentioned too. I do understand. God is good.

    Priority is ditto #7 Blindshooter for REason #1. Amen 35 and going strong.

    #28 LoudLight Congrtulations! 40 years. Don’t let go!

    #31 S2–Bwhaha.. love the Hoodi Gansta’ Corgi. LOL

    Comment by LLoyd — August 17, 2012 @ 8:41 pm

  38. Melissa, YES! Agreeing on earth as touching anything with you (Matt 18:19) The LORD is providing a place for you. He has not left us who know him as orphans.

    Looking forward to hearing your good report.
    Let your heart be not troubled.

    Comment by LLoyd — August 17, 2012 @ 10:12 pm

  39. To convince my cats that I’m not dead yet so they don’t try to eat me when I’m just trying to take a nap.

    Comment by Hog Whitman — August 18, 2012 @ 4:51 am

  40. #5, Paul: ‘Sorry to read that. Prayers for you and your wife.
    #7, Blindshooter, I am with you.
    #14, Ranger Joe: Thank you, and God bless you.

    Top priority is to be a father who can raise healthy, happy, and responsible citizens. To do that I must be a good example of Faithfulness and ethical living. I hope to live to see grandchildren.

    Comment by Hopefulone — August 18, 2012 @ 6:13 am

  41. world peace

    Comment by TRKOF — August 19, 2012 @ 8:51 am

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