you’ll eat what’s served and not like it

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  1. Eating healthy would just kill me.

    Wait … “served in brown paper bags?”
    Popcorn’s healthier that way?
    [glances around for hidden candid camera]
    Nnnnnnnnn, I’m beginnin’ to think that health is not the real agenda, here, so am I “… surprised by the brochure’s nitpicking detail?” Uhh, nope.

    Comment by DougM — April 5, 2011 @ 10:14 am

  2. How ’bout Bacon?

    Comment by Wollf — April 5, 2011 @ 10:16 am

  3. Someone should explain to them the difference between a one-time indulgence and a dietary habit.

    By their logic, you should skip the birthday cake next time. A glass of water and some popcorn will be just fine.

    It’s just a matter of time before they attack Thanksgiving dinner. Or maybe they have. I really don’t want to know.

    Comment by iD — April 5, 2011 @ 10:47 am

  4. a “no-no“?!?!?!?
    r u fweeeee?

    wait….

    Comment by Claire, Unreasonable, Ideologically Stubborn Ruralite — April 5, 2011 @ 10:59 am

  5. “Deep-fried foods are an absolute no-no and “cannot be served.””

    “No-No”?… yes, the nanny state is talking to children. They are just trying to avoid, “boo-boos”

    Comment by DoubleU — April 5, 2011 @ 11:07 am

  6. Buffet-line police required.
    I mean, what if somebody takes two small muffins,
    or *gasp* puts their popcorn on a plate?

    There’s an implied “or else,” here.
    Or else … what?
    Is this a condition of employment?

    Comment by DougM — April 5, 2011 @ 11:30 am

  7. Didn’t we do this one already?

    Comment by bob — April 5, 2011 @ 11:30 am

  8. Smiling is allowed but only with a closed mouth.

    No teeth may be shown and absolutely no giggling or laughing is ever allowed.

    Comment by The Ugly American — April 5, 2011 @ 11:31 am

  9. Oops, “never mind”. I must have read it somewhere else…

    Sorry,

    Comment by bob — April 5, 2011 @ 11:37 am

  10. This is the Health Department in Moscow, right?

    Comment by Buzz D — April 5, 2011 @ 11:43 am

  11. bob, Jan Brewer’s a racist Hitler and the NYC Dept. of Health are Liberals who care. They’re different posts :)

    Comment by SondraK, Lympian Slayer — April 5, 2011 @ 12:01 pm

  12. You must walk with a goose step and wear your boots and uniform to work– Everyone vill wait at the door and enter together– marching to your respective cubicles– speaking only with whispered tones on your break and at lunch– women vill wear their hair pulled back in a bun and wear their hat when out side– Men vill have their heads shaved and wear their hats when out side— every Monday will be weigh in day and you vill be measured to see if you gained any weight over the week end. I see I typed the word Vill–hmmm

    Comment by geezerette — April 5, 2011 @ 4:36 pm

  13. How did “powwows” get past the diversity filters?

    Comment by staghounds — April 5, 2011 @ 4:56 pm

  14. The writer forgot to add the synchronized exercise in the hallway at break time.

    Comment by dick not quite dead white guy — April 5, 2011 @ 6:37 pm

  15. We’re next!

    I couldn’t help but notice the condescending attitude towards the supposed adults in the organization!

    Comment by Lance Luhrquer — April 5, 2011 @ 9:16 pm

  16. I swear if I had to spend my life in an 8 foot square corporate cubical, with no way out in sight, I would jump off a freaking bridge!

    Comment by Lucius Severus Pertinax — April 6, 2011 @ 12:06 am

  17. But the chocolate ration has been increased from 15 grams to 12 grams.

    Comment by Merovign — April 6, 2011 @ 12:51 am

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