today’s audience participation


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  1. I guess it would have to be my charming, lovely, adorable personality. Yep, that’s it.

    Comment by Alan outback bacon czar — November 14, 2012 @ 9:29 am

  2. Self-control, the ability to wiythstand the desire to kick the living sh*t out of liberals. Of course, the drugs help too.

    Comment by Steve_in_CA — November 14, 2012 @ 9:37 am

  3. Being able to pick the one package out of hundreds with a bar code that won’t scan and has at least one digit is unreadable.

    Comment by rickn8or — November 14, 2012 @ 9:42 am

  4. I can totally intimidate programmers with my icy stare.

    Comment by mojo — November 14, 2012 @ 9:52 am

  5. Setting realistic goals and then focusing on ‘em properly without becoming obsessed with the process until they’re accomplished.

    That’s how I got the perfect wife over half a century ago, a military retirement check deposited automatically every month, free health care, Social Security checks deposited every month, a BS, BA, and an MA, a retirement check from the state university system every month, and a 32″ waistline.

    One goal was to get a perfect 4.0 in my B.A., but that was perhaps a bit unrealistic, so I hadda settle for a 3.98 and a SCL certificate.

    I knew by the time I was 17 that at 5′ 7″ and 168 lbs the goal of Center for the Celtics or QB for the Bears was prob’ly not gonna materialize, so I went with golf as my adult sport and worked my way to a 4 handicap while at Pearl Harbor around 1982-3. When I put the clubs in storage a few years back, it had ballooned to around 12 since I played only about once every 2 weeks. Never could putt for shit.

    Guy’s gotta know his limitations as well as his strengths, right?

    Comment by bocopro — November 14, 2012 @ 9:59 am

  6. Laziness.
    Laziness and procrastination.
    I’m really, really good at those.
    Reckon practice makes perfect.
    Well, it would if I ever got around to practicing,
    so it must come naturally. You know, a gift.

    and playing the balalaika.
    No, wait, sorry. That’s Lara and Tonya (@0m:55s).

    Comment by DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!) — November 14, 2012 @ 10:01 am

  7. Squirrel Chasing. My TBI induced ADD has me constantly thinking two things at once. Makes multi tasking simple.

    Comment by Wollf — November 14, 2012 @ 10:06 am

  8. Empowering organic growth paradigms within enterprises by leveraging proactive win-win synergies of core competencies and B2B mindshares.

    Comment by apotheosis — November 14, 2012 @ 10:07 am

  9. *Buzzword Overload*

    Comment by mojo — November 14, 2012 @ 10:25 am

  10. Don’t know if its a gift but I can put up with tons of crap from people at work without flipping out and killing them all.
    I try to keep Jesus in my heart, that’s a gift from God. I think the two are connected somehow….

    Comment by blindshooter — November 14, 2012 @ 10:32 am

  11. Brevity.

    Comment by LoudLight — November 14, 2012 @ 11:30 am

  12. Concentra…….

    Hey Look!

    Comment by Zipser — November 14, 2012 @ 12:42 pm

  13. I like to think I am a good judge of character.

    Comment by PeggyU — November 14, 2012 @ 1:26 pm

  14. I can curse, fluently, in two languages.

    Comment by MCPO — November 14, 2012 @ 1:36 pm

  15. I have no patience and no empathy, but God is a practical joker, and gave me a life demanding both.
    karma anyone?

    Comment by Paul Moore — November 14, 2012 @ 3:54 pm

  16. I can hit the ground at 300mph and 75 G`s and survive. Acording to the Naval Safety Center no human, prior to me, had survived more than 45 G`s (…aorta ruptured and head decapitated…) Small brane & hard ass may have been a factor……

    Comment by Colonel Jerry USMC — November 14, 2012 @ 4:04 pm

  17. I always have exactly enough cowbell.

    Comment by Steve Skubinna — November 14, 2012 @ 4:27 pm

  18. Guy told me once I had a systems approach to problem solving.
    Musta been digestive system ’cause I gained 20 lbs on that job.
    Later I figured out that I was pretty good at skipping steps in the decision tree and arrive at the correct answer pretty quickly.
    Now I gotta write myself a memo to decide rye or white bread.

    Comment by dick, not quite dead white guy — November 14, 2012 @ 7:26 pm

  19. I’m pretty good at drinking beer.

    Comment by Ragin' Dave — November 14, 2012 @ 7:40 pm

  20. I’ve always had an affinity for operating heavy equipment.

    Comment by LostLiberty — November 14, 2012 @ 8:27 pm

  21. Gab

    Comment by kinlaw — November 14, 2012 @ 8:45 pm

  22. I think it’s pretty swell that we count amongst us…amongst many other things…having a professional didgeridoo player :)

    Comment by SondraK, Queen of my domain — November 14, 2012 @ 8:48 pm

  23. I came up with a recipe for Lemon Chicken that once got me two marriage proposals in a night.

    Comment by mech — November 14, 2012 @ 9:20 pm

  24. Pissing off liberals, I have the flattened tires to prove it.

    Comment by JoeBandMember® — November 14, 2012 @ 9:46 pm

  25. I have none. There is nothing unique or special about me. I am but a cog in the machine. Only pawn in game of life.

    Comment by Annoyed White Male — November 15, 2012 @ 3:19 am

  26. Sarcasm.

    Comment by Walt — November 15, 2012 @ 7:26 am

  27. If looks could kill…. :)

    Comment by Veranda — November 15, 2012 @ 6:20 pm

  28. Being able to interpret all the voices in my head. Except that tall Dominican woman who talks way to fast. (But I give her a little leeway … nice legs and she scares the zombie penguins… )

    Comment by Sean — November 17, 2012 @ 8:55 am

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