today’s audience participation


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  1. Always hover over the pics.

    Comment by apotheosis — November 16, 2012 @ 7:33 am

  2. Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est, or just scientia potesta est, if you prefer.

    As for the jello, there may always be room for it, provided it is boneless.

    When my elder daughter was around 10 or so, I picked her up after a Girl Scout camping trip, and as we were driving home, she asked me a strange question for one her age.

    “Dad,” she said, “do you know why women and jello are alike?”

    Expecting some puerile nonsensical joke, I replied, “No. You tell me.” My mind had already leapt to a situation involving things getting hard when they are chilled.

    “Because they both wiggle when you eat ‘em,” she said.

    I thought about that for a few moments as we drove along the highway, then asked her if she knew what it meant.

    “No. One of the other girls tried to explain it to us, but it sounded really gross.”

    That was a pretty good place to allow the subject to die a quiet, ignominious death.

    Comment by bocopro — November 16, 2012 @ 7:58 am

  3. boco:

    sometimes silence is the only possible answer. ‘specially when you’re driving.

    Comment by apotheosis — November 16, 2012 @ 8:17 am

  4. No toothpicks?

    Comment by mojo — November 16, 2012 @ 8:37 am

  5. Well, Apo . . . today that girl is pushin 50 and it’s pushin back. She’s the one who taught me that you can love a person strongly enough to be able to kill for her but not be able to spend more than 48 hours with her under the same roof.

    Silence is indeed the best strategy for us after the first day’s visit, but neither of us have the traits of brevity or tact or discretion in our makeup. We tend to say what’s on our minds, and more than half the time that results in sparks which often lead to raging infernos.

    Comment by bocopro — November 16, 2012 @ 8:41 am

  6. ^or chopsticks?

    A question: how many subscribe to comments?

    Be sure to czech out all of the items and butt-ons on the right side.

    Comment by mech — November 16, 2012 @ 8:44 am

  7. Always check the embedded links, the ( * )’s and the
    ~ ______~’s. If my posts don’t make sense it’s because you didn’t :)

    Comment by SondraK, Queen of my domain — November 16, 2012 @ 8:50 am

  8. Missy needs to build the promised SodraKipedia!
    Right? Right?

    KisP is the site (knowledge is power); and we comment, here below, on The Porch™. We are all Missy’s guests, here, so wipe your feet.

    Follow the links:
    “~vid~” will take you to the posted video, in case the embed fails.
    A “Cultural ref” usually links to a movie clip where the quote/scenario originates.
    A “KisPref” or “previously…” will link to an earlier relevant post here at KisP.
    A “Finish your assignment >>” or “somethingorother BTF: >>” means that there’s more below the fold, so click on it. It may be nothin’, but it may be somethin’. Hey, try it. Don’t cost nuthin’.

    Look for the puns.
    If a post doesn’t piss you off, immediately, then there are at least two jokes in there.
    Asterisks have footnotes, usually to make or explain the joke.
    Silly misspellings are usually for fun and are quite possibly sarcasm.
    Stuff within asterisks are sounds. *heh*
    Stuff within brackets are actions. [picks nose]
    Stuff within parentheses after “What?” are monologs with my imaginary friend.
    (What? Yeah, you.)

    Missy is my pet name for Sondra (Cultural ref: The Horse Soldiers).
    My patios is not region/ethno-specific. It’s meant merely to indicate familiar, casual conversation while leanin’ against a dadgum paddock gate or raftin’ down the river.
    My personal stories are 99% true, to the best of my recollection; and any “composites” are minor and representative.
    My avatar is Colonel Douglas Mortimer (For a Few Dollars More), the best shot in the Carolinas. I am a Douglas Mor…, but was only a Lieutenant Colonel (although the honorific is “Colonel”), a passable marksman, and live in NC.

    Stupid comments from Progressives and other Leftists will meet … resistance.
    Swearing should be rare and necessary or effective, and I recommend adding f’n asterisks to that s**t. (ewww … crude!)
    Racist terms will get you kiboshed from my posts.
    All the ladies, here, are virtuous and beautiful; and all the men are gentlemen. To state otherwise would be cause for … well, I don’t know. It’s never happened.

    Yes, there’s a PayPal link in the RH margin.

    Comment by DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!) — November 16, 2012 @ 12:06 pm

  9. • Pay no attention to that Hog guy (it only encourages him), & the Czech is in the Email.

    Comment by Hog Whitman — November 16, 2012 @ 12:53 pm

  10. ***bumped*** means moved to the top….I just figgered that out on my own.

    Comment by Wollf — November 16, 2012 @ 1:15 pm

  11. ^ KisPians are fast runners :)

    Hay! Does anyone know how to set up a Wikipedia page???????

    Comment by SondraK, Queen of my domain — November 16, 2012 @ 1:38 pm

  12. We are Mayberry, and Sheik Yerbouti is our Otis.

    Comment by apotheosis — November 16, 2012 @ 1:48 pm

  13. I ‘spect we needz a dict-shun-airy, soz alla da visitors
    to da Porch can figgur out what weez talkin’ ’bout!
    We can include wurdz like:
    prolly, prollem, sammich, ‘sylum ‘Lympian, etc.
    (I knowz, I getz an ‘F++) frum Prof. Bocopro.)
    Ok, I’ll go stand in the corner now, sheeesh!

    Comment by Lance — November 16, 2012 @ 2:22 pm

  14. ^ Whataya think I’m tryin’ tah do here???????????!!!

    Comment by SondraK, Queen of my domain — November 16, 2012 @ 2:58 pm

  15. • Hillbilly: Some guy named Billy who lives in the hills

    Speaking of which, if you have Netflix and haven’t seen

    then you are truly depriving yourselves of a unique and very scary experience. It might also cause you to look at Hank Williams III in a slightly different light.

    You can see it right now on Instant Watch™. Good luck.

    Comment by Hog Whitman — November 16, 2012 @ 3:12 pm

  16. ^ Seen ‘em all. Wish I could unknow.

    Comment by SondraK, Queen of my domain — November 16, 2012 @ 3:13 pm

  17. omnia dicta fortiora si dicta Latina

    Comment by mojo — November 16, 2012 @ 3:14 pm

  18. HE IS SPARTACUS! Over there! GET HIM!

    Comment by mojo — November 16, 2012 @ 3:43 pm

  19. • The place we all go for some sanity, which should say something rightchare.

    Comment by Hog Whitman — November 16, 2012 @ 3:45 pm

  20. High heels and /or cowboy boots are de rigueur.

    Comment by kinlaw — November 16, 2012 @ 6:13 pm

  21. And Birthday Spankin’s.

    (What? Shaddup. I’m tryin’ to bring ‘em back.)

    Comment by rickn8or — November 16, 2012 @ 6:52 pm

  22. ‘Lympians might need to be explained to random and sundry visitors.

    Comment by Justin Credible — November 16, 2012 @ 7:48 pm

  23. First fella who can clearly and rationally ‘splain Lympians to me gets an extra *spankin*

    Comment by Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause* — November 16, 2012 @ 9:31 pm

  24. I only know how to update the Lake Monsters page.

    Comment by JoeBandMember≠ — November 16, 2012 @ 10:01 pm

  25. Be sure to include a definitions page.

    Comment by JoeBandMember©® — November 16, 2012 @ 10:03 pm

  26. Claire (23), your phrase, “clearly & rationally ‘splain ‘Lympians”
    is totally incomprehensible & makes me, “non compos mentis“!

    Comment by Lance — November 16, 2012 @ 10:17 pm

  27. Porch Monkey – Denizen of the blog, who gather together to eat popcorn, drink whiskey or other beverages, and watch the world thru Gary Larson eyes…..LOOK! – its just one damned thing after another!

    the Bunker – Where the male porch monkeys hide when it is “DAY 2″….also where the scotch and seegars are stored.

    Melissy – The honorable lady from the Great State of Texas, who has the floor…..and the legs!

    *PALAMINO!* – self-defining, in hoc signos vinces…and all that drivel

    SHOOZE!!! – refer to “Melissy” above; and # 8 above re: “Missy” or………….

    – The founder and head of the Porch, definer of culture and dispenser of …..

    Birfday Spankin’s
    – sometimes posted celebratory pics and blessing on a Monkey’s natal anniversary.

    Comment by Sven in Colorado — November 17, 2012 @ 12:20 pm

  28. ^ Porch monkey: pronounced “porch minkee” a la Inspector Clouseau.

    Comment by DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!) — November 17, 2012 @ 6:57 pm

  29. ^ DougM: Phoennieghnbc? You said phoennieghnbc.

    Comment by Hog Whitman — November 18, 2012 @ 2:30 am

  30. ^ My eye spasm is back.

    Comment by DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!) — November 18, 2012 @ 9:18 am

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