life’s lexicon

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  1. Nope. That’ll pretty much do it.

    Comment by Walt — November 24, 2012 @ 2:52 pm

  2. Playing in a tournament—T’s up over the water and has confidence because he’s never hit one in the water. His 3 year old grandson is watching and in his backswing yells ” Don’t put it in the water Grampa”. Splush — Your hole partner—

    Comment by geezerette — November 24, 2012 @ 4:26 pm

  3. MAKIN’ LEMONADE OUTTA LEMONS: it’s a damn tasty waterbird.

    Comment by apotheosis — November 24, 2012 @ 5:25 pm

  4. I had a real life experience that followed this—except for the FAIL part.

    FRIDAY: I take command of my very first squadron, Headquarters & Maintenance Squadron-11 (…the Air Groups jet garage…) Had just been promoted to Lt/Col…

    SATURDAY: I spend the day painting my new CO office and replacing *tin govt desk* with a nicely varnished wooden desk.

    ALSO SATURDAY: One of my top SGT`s (…in charge of all Classified Information…) (…a BLACK SGT…) and his Black preacher—gets in argument w a civilian white woman at the PX, about his parking spot. He makes her cry! (…she is a Morman…) The military police file a charge!

    MONDAY: I show up at my command office at 0630 and find ALL my phone lines ringing. I pick up the one that comes from my Group Commanding Officer, a Colonel. He is calling about the flap between my SGT and the woman. The woman? SHE. IS. THE. WIFE. OF. THE. COMMANDING. GENERAL. OF. THE. THIRD MARINE. AIRCRAFT. WING, A. MAJOR. GENERAL. AND. THE. BOSS. OF. US. ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    My Colonel advises me, “Jerry, do not FUCK this up!” This is my FIRST FUCKING DAY OF COMMAND!

    If there is any KISPER interest, I will comment on what happened next………

    Comment by Colonel Jerry USMC — November 25, 2012 @ 7:31 am

  5. In college, we had an entire lexicon of sexual euphemisms built around golf.
    The girls had no idea what we were talking about until one particularly astute gal picked up on the pattern and helped add to our language.

    Comment by Buzz — November 25, 2012 @ 8:44 am

  6. ^^ ColJ
    I’m guessin’ you f**ked this up.

    ^ Buzz
    Y’mean like when Arnie Palmer’s wife was asked if she did anything for luck before a tournament, she replied, “I kiss his balls.”

    Comment by DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!) — November 25, 2012 @ 8:59 am

  7. Doug, good buddy, THAT is exactly what *I* was sure of!!!!! As is my wont, I was wrong!!!!!! [...as was every fucking senior officer on Major General LaBlanc`s 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing large staff; that knew of my plight...]

    Comment by Colonel Jerry USMC — November 25, 2012 @ 10:28 am

  8. “There is no spoon.”

    Matrix reference

    Comment by MCPO — November 25, 2012 @ 10:39 am

  9. Almost, Doug.

    Terms like “greenskeeper,” course ranger,” back nine,” “guest player,” and “course maintenance” are a few I still remember.

    Comment by Buzz — November 25, 2012 @ 12:07 pm

  10. Sooo, COL Jerry SIR! How did you manage your first command challenge??

    Comment by rickn8or — November 25, 2012 @ 5:46 pm

  11. ^ What rikn8or meant to ask was,
    How’d'ja un-f**k yourself, there, cunnel?

    Comment by DougM (Well, thaaat sucked!) — November 25, 2012 @ 6:27 pm

  12. Crap! I wrote a long comment last night explaining how I kept my first command, but it had disappeared this morning. All I will say now, since this thread is old is that Major General LeBlanc on hearing my decision re: his wife and my SGT was, “She got fucked!”

    Comment by Colonel Jerry USMC — November 26, 2012 @ 9:31 am

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