so here’s yer quintessential hypothetical conundrum


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  1. The car!
    [It could only be eviler if it were a GiantSUV of Doooooom™]

    Comment by Claire: rebellious pink pig with car keys - and a *cause* — December 20, 2012 @ 8:16 pm

  2. Doritos, ’cause Pepsico has deep, deep pockets and it’s not right for anybody or any corporation to have that much money or make a profit.

    Comment by Buzz — December 20, 2012 @ 8:49 pm

  3. I’d have to say 7-11 if they weren’t open and had that no good munchey stuff he wouldn’t have been going there.

    Comment by geezerette — December 20, 2012 @ 9:16 pm

  4. The racist school bus driver

    Comment by Paul Moore — December 20, 2012 @ 9:44 pm

  5. I blame the Hostess Company for union busting. Twinkies go much better with Yoo-Hoo and will make anyone a better driver.

    Comment by Freddie Sykes — December 20, 2012 @ 9:53 pm

  6. I blame George Bush. Or maybe the joooooos.

    Comment by Lord of the Fleas — December 20, 2012 @ 9:53 pm

  7. It was he fault of the NRA. Just ask any ‘progressive”.

    You can depend on it.

    Comment by JoeBlamMember™ — December 20, 2012 @ 10:03 pm

  8. The Doritos, of course. They usually are accompanied by huge sugary drinks.

    And deep pockets as Buzz stated above (#2).

    Teh mind altering herb is gaining civil rights like certain diseases have.

    Comment by mech — December 20, 2012 @ 10:10 pm

  9. George Bush, because he didn’t run for seize a third term where he would have eliminated the bus by requiring home schooling, banned weed, put the Valiant in a museum and made Yoohoo run from the taps at home.
    Uhbama’s still working on the mess George left.

    Comment by dick, not quite dead white guy — December 20, 2012 @ 10:16 pm

  10. It was the salmon mousse.

    Comment by Mr. Death — December 20, 2012 @ 10:23 pm

  11. Chrysler/Fiat of course for building a defective vehicle.

    And George Bush did nothing about it.

    Comment by rickn8or — December 20, 2012 @ 10:26 pm

  12. It was my fault.

    Comment by SondraK, Queen of my domain — December 20, 2012 @ 10:49 pm

  13. It was the foie gras. The Doritos-crusted Foie Gras, served with a 64 ounce Super Big Gulp, and chased by a twelve month old Twinkie that I found under the back seat of the dope-smoker’s car.

    Comment by Ragin' Dave — December 20, 2012 @ 11:28 pm

  14. The Yoo-Hoo.

    Comment by mojo — December 21, 2012 @ 12:20 am

  15. I blame white males over the age of thirty with an income exceeding $200K/yr for invading Folsom Pueblo Apache Arapaho Cheyenne Comanche Shoshone Ute Spanish Mexican French Mexican territory in the first place.

    MrD (10)
    Gooood cultural ref!

    Comment by DougM (Progophobe) — December 21, 2012 @ 6:27 am

  16. The Depends.

    Comment by JoeBandMember™ — December 21, 2012 @ 6:30 am

  17. 7-11 because they didn’t deliver.

    Comment by jw — December 21, 2012 @ 8:27 am

  18. That’s what I always tell those moronic “Aztlan” chooms, Doug.

    “Piss off, we stole it fair and square.”

    Comment by mojo — December 21, 2012 @ 8:32 am

  19. Just another Junk-food Junkie! Couldn’t-a been the Weed! Nothin’ ta see here, folks! Keep moving else I’ll have ta TAZE yer sorry butts!

    Comment by Mike (AZ) — December 21, 2012 @ 11:10 am

  20. GWB

    Comment by TheOldMan — December 21, 2012 @ 12:44 pm

  21. Whoever is responsible for the Harold & Kumar video that inspired the violence.

    Comment by Stilton — December 21, 2012 @ 1:17 pm

  22. ^ That Harold and Kumar thing was one of the most racist movies I have ever seen. The only white people in that movie were either sucking cock, or banging their sister, while beating the Bible.

    But I guess Kumar got a job in the White House out of it, so it’s all good.

    Comment by Hog Whitman — December 21, 2012 @ 7:27 pm

  23. It’s OBVIOUSLY the fault of that high-capacity, assault vehicle that poor Medicated-American drove. Why does ANYONE need more than a Yugo or Smart Car ?? Think of the children. . . .

    Comment by Sotarr the Wizard — December 21, 2012 @ 8:27 pm

  24. must have Twinkies……..

    Comment by Melissa In Texas — December 21, 2012 @ 8:40 pm

  25. Hi Melissy!

    Missed ya.

    Comment by mech — December 21, 2012 @ 10:23 pm

  26. I have missed y’all too!

    Comment by Melissa In Texas — December 21, 2012 @ 10:27 pm

  27. Three alphabet newspapers have published columns blaming
    the NRA and the Tea Party for the accident! If the driver hadn’t
    been traumatized & terrified by the evil guns he saw at Walmart
    he would have been able to avoid hitting the bus! To save the
    ‘chillrinz’ the Obama gubbmint will require all schools busses
    to be protected at all times by military vehicles, tow trucks &
    ambulances driven by union drivers. Oh, & the military vehicles
    must be ‘high-capacity assault vehicles’!

    Comment by Lance — December 26, 2012 @ 12:54 pm

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