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  1. At this point? Anything that goes “bang!” is better than nothing.

    Comment by MIkeG — January 18, 2013 @ 7:43 am

  2. Shotgun and a reloader
    Kimber pistol
    AR15 Rifle

    Comment by Steve In Tulsa — January 18, 2013 @ 8:18 am

  3. Asked this question at work the other day, my response was, “Who did you vote for?”

    The reply, Obama….

    Shook head, dropping face to floor, look up, deep breath-

    “You don’t deserve to own a gun.”

    yea, when it comes to being direct and honest I am enough of an asshole to just put it out there.

    Comment by Brad — January 18, 2013 @ 8:25 am

  4. My #1 choices? Legal? Reasonable? M’kay … I’ll play.

    Home/Boat/RV: pump shotgun, short bbl, folding stock (e.g. Mossberg 500)
    Combat: AR-10 (basically AR-15 in .308/7.62×51)
    Bugout/Trunk: SKS (add folding stock, throw-away cheap) or any .30-cal carbine, scout rifle, shotgun that eats commonly available ammo
    Burial: not something that’ll break your heart if it rusts
    Car: .357 revolver (good through door, good stopper)
    Concealed Carry: [insert tome]
    -Polite society, tuxedo, pocket, purse: shrouded-hammer snubby .38 (e.g. S&W Mod642) or small, light .380 (e.g. Colt Mustang)
    -Injun country, hip holster: 1911 commander-size (full grip, shorter bbl, good against everything in the W.Hemisphere exc. moose, bison & grizz)
    Hunting/Varmints: I ain’t goin’ there. *unh-unh*
    Crime: somebody else’s gun
    Assassination: suppressed .22LR pistol (professional use only, check local laws for legality)

    Almost all of these are small-capacity weapons, so carry a spare mag or speed strip or loose ammo in a pocket.

    If you have to buy a used gun, get a return warranty, have a gunsmith check it out, and put a hundred rounds through it immediately. Put at least a box of ammo through a new gun, too. (Hey, their warranty doesn’t cover your life, and some ammo brands/bullet-types may not function perfectly in that model.)

    Comment by DougM (Progophobe) — January 18, 2013 @ 8:32 am

  5. Brad (3), best line of the week,.

    Would love to have seen their face.

    Comment by mech — January 18, 2013 @ 8:48 am

  6. Was curious if the Porch’s own PatrickP got the BBQ/grill or a firearm for Christmas?

    Comment by accipiter NW — January 18, 2013 @ 9:59 am

  7. A gatling gun, concealed in the nose of a used A10 Warthog. Cheepist of all military strike-fighters…. Side bene: Only goes about 300 knots, so if you hit the ground going straight down, biggest risk = get the wind knocked out of you………..

    Comment by Colonel Jerry USMC — January 18, 2013 @ 10:42 am

  8. Comment on Doug’s thoughtful list – I couldn’t find a Colt Mustang for ‘polite’ carry when I was looking, and chose a Sig P238. It’s pretty much a mini-1911 in function. Only initial complaint was it had a really heavy trigger (9.5lb) and after some smoothing and smithing, now have a pocket pistol that so far (~800 rds) has eaten FMJ, JHP, Buffalo Bore FMJ flat point without a hitch, and groups about 1.5″ at 7 yds. It might do better, but that’s the best I can do two handed standing. The gun is a pleasure to shoot, esp. if you get magazines with a pinky extension base. Excellent tritium night sights are included, and Sig offers a laser sight (238-TGL) as an option.
    Sig had some problems with early models – get a 2012 or later manufacture and the bugs will be gone.

    Comment by dick, not quite dead white guy — January 18, 2013 @ 10:52 am

  9. I’ve always liked the .50 cal BMG myself. Of course, it’s a little heavy and bulky for everyday carry use, but when you light that sucker up, it gets people’s attention!

    Large naval guns are also good, but they’re almost impossible to carry-around with you.

    Comment by Hog Whitman — January 18, 2013 @ 1:16 pm

  10. dick (8)
    Yep, the Sig P238 is based on the Colt Mustang.
    There’s also a 9mm version (P239) which is just a tad larger.
    I don’t own one, though … yet.

    Comment by DougM (Progophobe) — January 18, 2013 @ 2:23 pm

  11. Any gun you have is better than nothing.

    Comment by mojo — January 18, 2013 @ 3:28 pm

  12. If you have to ask the question, you need training first. Practically every county in the country has someone decent to do it, or pick one of the big schools if you have money and time.

    Comment by Merovign — January 18, 2013 @ 6:15 pm

  13. Sixteen inch naval rifle would be my pick, but lordy, having to slaughter a whole herd o’ cows to make the damn holster……….

    Sunk New Dawn
    Galveston, TX

    Comment by Jim — January 18, 2013 @ 7:09 pm

  14. The M-1 A-12 nucular device is an acceptable alternative. Of course, at only 1 megaton it’s a bit weak, but it will turn about ten-square-miles into glass in a heartbeat. That should give you enough time for the cavalry to show-up.

    Comment by Hog Whitman — January 18, 2013 @ 8:07 pm

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