today’s audience participation

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  1. ” A Fish Out of Water”.

    Comment by Alan outback bacon czar — February 21, 2013 @ 12:25 pm

  2. ” Jack White’s a freaking package and anyone who doesn’t think so is stupid”

    Comment by SondraK, Queen of my domain — February 21, 2013 @ 12:26 pm

  3. ” Liberals are big fat stupid poo poo heads “

    Comment by SondraK, Queen of my domain — February 21, 2013 @ 12:27 pm

  4. SELF: The Swim From Ambiguity Island Through The Sargasso Of Word Soup To Utter Obfuscation

    Comment by bocopro — February 21, 2013 @ 12:34 pm

  5. ” I heart bocopro even if he’s stupid and doesn’t appreciate Jack White”

    Comment by SondraK, Queen of my domain — February 21, 2013 @ 12:35 pm

  6. “Never Eat Anything Bigger Than Your Head (And other good advice I ignored)”

    Comment by mojo — February 21, 2013 @ 12:36 pm

  7. “My Fight Against Procrastination and I’ll Come up with a Subtitle Later”

    Comment by rick — February 21, 2013 @ 12:43 pm

  8. Procrustinations, Ditherings and Brain Farts of a Not Quite Dead White Guy
    Vol 1 – Diaper and Drool Days
    Vol 2 – Know It All with a Hangover Era
    Vol 3 – Productive Era
    Vol 4 – Diaper and Drool Days

    Comment by dick, not quite dead white guy — February 21, 2013 @ 1:06 pm

  9. Umm errrr uh. What?

    Comment by logdogsmith — February 21, 2013 @ 1:50 pm

  10. Depends on who writes it. . .

    Comment by mech — February 21, 2013 @ 2:35 pm

  11. My Used To List

    Comment by geezerette — February 21, 2013 @ 2:50 pm

  12. Another Life’s Useless Energy Spent.

    Comment by Darrell — February 21, 2013 @ 2:59 pm

  13. “Kicking And screaming On The Road To Patience And Humility”
    “And All The Weird Shit That Happened Along The Way

    Comment by leelu — February 21, 2013 @ 3:01 pm

  14. “Aw HELL No! Y’all HAD Your Chance!”
    God’s Gift to Women Speaks Out”

    Comment by rickn8or — February 21, 2013 @ 3:13 pm

  15. Skubie! The unauthorized autobiography.

    Comment by Steve Skubinna — February 21, 2013 @ 3:26 pm

  16. But She Said It Would be Okay!

    Comment by walt — February 21, 2013 @ 3:35 pm

  17. “Let’s Try This Again, Shall We?”

    “Stuff I Said and Did and Stuff I Probably Should’ve Said and Done Instead”

    “Who?”

    “Dreams from My Father, and My Father’s Father, and My Father’s Father’s Father.”

    “Wise-Ass Diaries”

    (What? Oh, okay.)
    “Travels with My Imaginary Friend”

    Yeah, there’s more, but it just gets silly from here on.

    Comment by DougM (Progophobe) — February 21, 2013 @ 3:39 pm

  18. “Damn, I can’t type all that again!”

    Comment by Wollf — February 21, 2013 @ 3:54 pm

  19. My pen name would kill any autobiograpy. [...J Studly Bullnuts...]

    Comment by Colonel Jerry USMC — February 21, 2013 @ 4:11 pm

  20. “Honey, Can You Clean the Litter Box, Please?”

    Comment by Fat Baxter — February 21, 2013 @ 4:46 pm

  21. “Geezer Beezer, what the fuck was that all about?” I’m on the 49th chapter…

    Comment by Chris in NC — February 21, 2013 @ 4:53 pm

  22. The Adventures of Freewheelin Franklin

    Comment by Freewheelin Franklin — February 21, 2013 @ 5:21 pm

  23. Sometimes I click up one of the jukebox sites (such as tropicalglen.com) and click on a category then call up the top 100 and just let it play while I’m doin somethin equally trivial.

    Tonite it’s C & W, and since my initial post (above) I’ve heard several lines in songs that match me to a “T” :

    “I’m in a hurry and don’t know why”

    “I wish I didn’t know know what I didn’t know then”

    are two that frame my life from about 30 to 70.

    Comment by bocopro — February 21, 2013 @ 6:10 pm

  24. Whiskey, Cigars, Women, and other Good Habits

    Comment by Ragin' Dave — February 21, 2013 @ 6:40 pm

  25. Carry On, Wayward Son

    Comment by Annoyed White Male — February 21, 2013 @ 6:49 pm

  26. Which is, coincidentally, the soundtrack to the movie.

    Comment by Annoyed White Male — February 21, 2013 @ 6:53 pm

  27. “Oh Shit” (A Life in Words)

    Comment by Merovign — February 21, 2013 @ 6:56 pm

  28. I feel More Like I do Now Than Before I got Here

    Comment by Stick — February 21, 2013 @ 6:57 pm

  29. Who was that?
    the story of a so-so guy

    Comment by Burgie — February 21, 2013 @ 7:03 pm

  30. What, me worry?

    Alfred E. Newman

    Jim
    Sunk New Dawn
    Galveston, TX

    Comment by Jim — February 21, 2013 @ 7:16 pm

  31. Dogged Determination: There IS Life After Birth

    Comment by K-Nine — February 21, 2013 @ 7:26 pm

  32. LOL@ Burgie!!!!!!!!

    Comment by SondraK, Queen of my domain — February 21, 2013 @ 7:34 pm

  33. “Sorry, God, for Wasting All Those Gifts”

    Comment by Buzz — February 21, 2013 @ 7:54 pm

  34. ^ dick (8): Still trying to figure out how you’re gonna write Vol 4 if all the paper is soggy.

    As for me, I wouldn’t have an auto-biography. Don’t know shit about cars ….

    Comment by Lord of the Fleas — February 21, 2013 @ 8:09 pm

  35. “So this is the end”
    (On the road of life with worn out shoes)

    Comment by SherryM — February 21, 2013 @ 8:43 pm

  36. “I can’t wait until tomorrow, ’cause i get better looking every day”
    subtitle “I made a career out of being wrong”

    Comment by jlw — February 21, 2013 @ 8:52 pm

  37. “He Did WHAT???”
    Untold stories behind the late-night phone calls.

    Comment by Murphy(AZ) — February 21, 2013 @ 9:43 pm

  38. Whatevz

    Comment by PatrickP — February 21, 2013 @ 11:48 pm

  39. 1st choice: Splitting the Arrow
    I actually split an arrow once. It was mostly luck, but the arrow I split was already in the center of the gold, and it was one of mine. There were about 100 witnesses. The cheer that went up was quite intoxicating.

    2nd choice: Jack White is a Douchebag who can’t even tune a guitar.

    Comment by Hog Whitman — February 22, 2013 @ 1:37 am

  40. Too much of a good thing
    Is still a good thing

    Comment by El Jefe — February 22, 2013 @ 2:52 am

  41. “Sweat In My Eyes”

    Comment by Jess — February 22, 2013 @ 4:52 am

  42. Or—Just the Tip–

    Comment by geezerette — February 22, 2013 @ 8:08 am

  43. “My Life: Leaving Out all the Air, Water, Food, and Crap Crap”

    “Swell …”

    “A Sliderule Mind in a Supercomputer World”

    “Avoiding the Front Page, a Life Photographed on the Back Row”

    “Quiet, Keeps to Himself, Kind of a Loner, Nobody Thought He’d Do Anything Like This”

    Comment by DougM (Progophobe) — February 22, 2013 @ 8:11 am

  44. geezerette ^^
    Made me drop my seegar.

    Comment by DougM (Progophobe) — February 22, 2013 @ 8:13 am

  45. “Here, hold my beer and watch this!”

    Comment by Capt. Craig — February 22, 2013 @ 9:11 am

  46. ‘What’s in a name?”

    Comment by JoeBandMember™ — February 22, 2013 @ 9:24 am

  47. “My Struggle” – wait, that’s been used.
    “Shit My Dad Says” – what – that’s been used, too?
    “No One Here Gets Out Alive” – Awww, come on!
    Guess I’ll have to settle for ” In a Battle of Wits, I Came Unarmed”.
    #19, Col. Jerry, sir: I’d read an autobiography by “Studley Bullnuts”.

    Comment by Thunderbottom — February 22, 2013 @ 9:29 am

  48. Now I’m at my PC, I’ll try again:

    “I been punched, kicked, stabbed, shot, poisoned, dog bit, scorpion stung, helecopter crashed, skull fractured, maimed and blown up.”

    Subtitle: “And that was just my first marriage”.

    Comment by Wollf — February 22, 2013 @ 9:40 am

  49. “Always Hopeful. Not Disappointed.”

    I hope that I can say that, eventually, despite the government committing child abuse through the profligacy of the whores on Capitol Hill and across the country.

    Comment by Hopefulone — February 22, 2013 @ 10:37 am

  50. ^^ # 34 – “I wouldn’t have an auto-biography. Don’t know shit about cars ….” Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
    me neither …

    Comment by Maria Edi — February 22, 2013 @ 6:17 pm

  51. The Audacity of Kampf
    Mein Hope
    I Was a Teenage Choomster

    Comment by KarlU — February 22, 2013 @ 7:28 pm

  52. “At Least I Was No Joe Biden”

    Comment by DougM (Progophobe) — February 22, 2013 @ 7:39 pm

  53. “Too much insomnia”

    or

    “How I learned to live without much sleep”

    Comment by Caged Insanity — February 24, 2013 @ 4:46 am

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