it’s just not, you know, journalism journalism

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  1. I opened the link and stared at the article for a couple miliseconds, then mine mouse scrolled down and mine eyes feasted on the comments. Read about 10 and these were good enough to share:

    Top 5 things rolling stone can actually write about:
    1: …
    2: …
    3: ..um…
    4: Music?
    5: Nevermind.

    Five ironic names Kristen Gwynne could use as an alias:
    1. Einstein
    2. Rocket Scientist
    3. Krugman
    4. Professor
    5. Master of Knowledge

    Comment by logdogsmith — July 15, 2014 @ 4:47 pm

  2. 1. Glocks
    2. Glocks
    3. Glocks
    4. Glocks
    5. Glocks

    Comment by Fawkes News (Blacklisted and Loving It) — July 15, 2014 @ 5:17 pm

  3. I thought you were joking with the all-inclusive list. Turns out you weren’t. They had to break handguns up into three just to round the list out to five. I mean, what didn’t make the list? Nerf guns?

    Subtlety doesn’t matter when propaganda is the goal. According to them, all guns are dangerous. They could have called the list the “five scariest guns”, but then their point would have been too obvious: shift the danger from the owner to the weapon, and make all weapons into scary tools of crime.

    Comment by iD — July 15, 2014 @ 5:18 pm

  4. This one has a built in barrel!

    Comment by PeggyU — July 15, 2014 @ 5:20 pm

  5. Assault rifle in first sentence – check
    Built-in barrel - So?? Are there guns where the barrel isn’t attached?
    Rotating chambered cylindergrenade launchers, shotguns, and rifles also have rotating barrels.. Right. Lemme know when you find a 40mm snubby, dearie.
    Rifles were used to murder more than 320 people. Out of 10-12,000. More people were killed with hammers than rifles.
    And only two were box magazine fed like the M4 pictured. None were full auto like the M4 pictured. Most were .22 rimfire.

    The musket ball was often an bad fit due to manufacturing complications….. and easy-to-aim
    News to me. Semi auto hyphens. Jurnalists are gud at grammer an speling two.

    The explosive that creates the energy to fire the gun occurs in the fixed shell of a shotgun rather than the metallic cartridge of a rifle. Yup. That rifle metallic cartridge is jumpin’ all over the place, in the thing that goes up, putting spin on the boolit. Yeah, spin, that’s what makes it a rifle and the article propaganda.

    high-capacity-magazine assault weapons – alllll-righty, (check, check, check, check, check – got the main trigger words in one sentence!!! Wow. And hyphens again; must be a full automatic keyboard.)
    - have bee linked to large numnber of mass shootings – Mor gud jurnalsm

    HFS. Maybe she is old enough to vote, sadly, but this Kristen Gwynne bint thinks and writes like a fifth grader.
    BTW, Rolling Stone, fire her editor.
    Doug, this was too easy, but thanks for leaving some stuff for us. :>)

    Comment by dick, not quite dead white guy — July 15, 2014 @ 5:41 pm

  6. ^ dick, yeahman!
    But y`’missed “high-powered assault rifle.”
    Assault rifles use medium-power ammo.
    [insert previous seminar notes on "assault rifle" vs "assault weapon"]

    Yeah, the “built-in barrel” and “fixed shell” things cracked me up, too. She might’a run across the term “fixed ammo” while Googling for her article during recess (fixed ammo is pre-assembled in cartridge form, rather than assembled in the chamber and ignited by an external flint or cap like a muzzle-loader), a term which does come into play for various regulatory reasons.
    And smokeless gunpowder is not an “explosive.”

    “[A]ccuracy of smoothbore muskets, for which the musket ball was often an bad fit due to manufacturing complications.”
    Nnnnn … no. Oversimplifying, musket ball fit was snug by using a patch. Its inaccuracy was primarily due to non-homogeneous lead density and imperfect shape which caused the ball’s CG to be slightly offset from it’s aerodynamic center (so it wobbled in flight). Spinning a patched ball through a rifled barrel helped reduce that wobble quite a bit (kind of evened-out that imbalance during flight).

    Yeah, you’re welcome for the lob.
    Plenty of other face-palms, errors, and typos left.
    Knock yourselves out.

    Comment by DougM (paleface™) — July 15, 2014 @ 6:38 pm

  7. She left out:
    Firearms in the hands of criminals.

    Guns in the hands of the mentally unstable.

    Cartridge weapons in the hands of terrorists in the workplace.

    Heaters in the hands of hooligans.

    Long guns or any other in the hands of librulls.

    But I may be redundant.

    Then there is the pen in the hand of teh precedent.

    Pens in the hands of precedents.

    Don’t forget the concealed one in the holster of the Armed Citizen. That is the most dangerous of all to all of the above.

    Comment by mech — July 15, 2014 @ 6:58 pm

  8. The best part, for me, is how most of their readers probably nodded their heads knowingly at reading that.

    Today’s “journalists” are not in the information business, they’re in the affirmation business.

    Comment by Veeshir — July 15, 2014 @ 7:21 pm

  9. ^Doug (6) I wasn’t hitting on the “manufacturing complications” it was the “easy-to-aim”.
    Now I never tried a Brown Bess or a Kentucky rifle, but I figger anything 5′ long with just a bead on the far end and a pan flashing in your face isn’t going to be easy to aim, but Bess was faster to load while a rifle was more accurate. Take your pick. I suppose it depends on how many and how close the redcoats were, and whether or not you had some shooting sticks and a bunch of friends to help out.

    Comment by dick, not quite dead white guy — July 15, 2014 @ 8:40 pm

  10. Doug, BTW, “built in barrel” is an extra cost option that comes without the gun bearer and the THX sound system.
    If you get the big boomy THX sound and gun bearer option, you may have to open the mutton leg case and assemble the double barrels to the stock.

    Comment by dick, not quite dead white guy — July 15, 2014 @ 8:46 pm

  11. The five most dangerous causes of drowning!!!!

    1. Water
    2. Dihydrogen Monoxide
    3. Melted Ice
    4. Condensed clouds
    5. Large puddles that haven’t dried out yet.

    My gosh, look at all those things that can drown you! And all of them are different!

    Comment by Ragin' Dave — July 15, 2014 @ 11:06 pm

  12. “they’re in the affirmation business.”

    So stealing that.

    Comment by staghounds — July 16, 2014 @ 4:30 am

  13. The Rolling Stoners think those scaaaaawy guns are evil and dangerous.

    But apparently pressure-cooker bombs are cool.

    Comment by Fawkes News (Blacklisted and Loving It) — July 16, 2014 @ 4:56 am

  14. The most dangerous guns are the ones a people will cede their rights to out of the fear of it being used.

    Comment by USMC2841 — July 16, 2014 @ 5:32 am

  15. Top Five Kids Who Eat Hot Dogs
    1) big kids
    2) little kids
    3) kids who climb on rocks
    4) tough kids
    5) sissy kids
    and the bonus kid with chicken pox

    Comment by David Ritenour — July 16, 2014 @ 6:35 am

  16. ^ *snick*

    dick 9^
    Re: easy to aim
    Yeah, lemme know when you figure that out.
    My earlier comment was just a tangent from her “fit” thing. I only commented on things you brought up. Yeah, there are more. If I get bored, I’ll bring up some good ones later.

    dick 10^
    Re: built-in
    Reckon she was told “enclosed” or “shrouded” in the slide or something and just took lousy notes.

    Comment by DougM (paleface™) — July 16, 2014 @ 6:35 am

  17. The five most dangerous people in America:
    • Men
    • Women
    • Other/non/bi-gendered adults
    • Teenagers
    • Children

    Comment by DougM (paleface™) — July 16, 2014 @ 6:44 am

  18. When a reasonable person with a little gun knowledge reads this soup of misinformation all of the errors pop out and they are funny. When those who know better than us read this article they have a deeper understanding of the gun situation, they are reminded that they must vote and work to elect anti-gun politicians and that makes my head ache like a fixed barrel musket spraying shot over a complicated round lead ball that is easy to aim, or something.

    Our whole poor nation is wallowing in a sea of mis-information and dis-information, one set of poor facts by stupid, lazy reporters and the facts written by those with an agenda. I am still caught between tying to figure out if this article is funny or just sad and disgusting.

    Comment by OldTexan — July 16, 2014 @ 7:04 am

  19. So, were I to get the “business end” of an A-10 Warthog mounted on a very large and durable motorized mechanism on top of a larger truck like a Freightliner or this (with appropriate internal reinforcements) then, by not meeting her criteria, I would not have a dangerous gun? Huh? I think that we all need to get these safe guns. It may become law, right?

    Comment by Hopefulone — July 16, 2014 @ 7:04 am

  20. Safe gun, right?

    Comment by Hopefulone — July 16, 2014 @ 7:10 am

  21. C’mon, guys. It’s Rolling Stone, fer cripes sakes. Nobody reads that crap.

    Comment by mojo — July 16, 2014 @ 7:13 am

  22. About 23 yrs ago, I had a well-known gunsmith in Las Vegas make me a *left-handed, full stock, curly maple flintlock Hawkins .50 caliber black powder front-loader rifle*. Rifled barrel, natch, limited me to about 2 lead ball launches per minute. BUT, God I loved launching lead balls and got to the point on low wind days of hitting, off hand, inside a target the size of a human torso (neck down to the belt buckle)—-at 500 fucking yards! […with the advantage of a *smoke screen* masking me as I moved post-bullet launch! 500 yards, by the way, was required of me as a recruit at Parris Island w the M14 rifle as I qualified as “expert” on the rifle range in 1962.
    {… The Marine drill instructors awarded all the expert shooters in my recruit platoon with a single lollipop, each—which seemed to be the equivalent of all I had beaten out of me from previous civilian life!!!…}

    None of the above would make the slightest bit of sense to the Rolling Stones author whose nimno article we are commenting on===

    Comment by Colonel Jerry USMC — July 16, 2014 @ 9:28 am

  23. I’ve got to get me a M-60 for general carry so I won’t, you know, be carrying one of the most dangerous guns.

    Comment by Ironic in Denver — July 16, 2014 @ 10:04 am

  24. ^ and maybe a M249 for discreet carry under my duster when I don’t want to startle Progs by open carry of the M-60… an an M79 with those buckshot rounds for a backup piece.

    Comment by Ironic in Denver — July 16, 2014 @ 10:12 am

  25. nearly 70 percent of homicides for which the FBI received weapons data

    What percent of non-firearms homicide weapons data gets reported to the FBI anyway?

    320 murders (if that’s what they were) are all tragedies, of course, but I’m just wondering how many people got killed in the same period with hammers, screwdrivers, butcher knives, etc.

    I know: new article – “The Five Most Dangerous Household Tools In America.”

    Comment by Ironic in Denver — July 16, 2014 @ 10:18 am

  26. Hopefulone 20: well, that’s not a “fixed barrel weapon” (I guess), so it can’t be all that dangerous.

    Comment by Ironic in Denver — July 16, 2014 @ 10:20 am

  27. I-in-D Re: M-60
    You’ll need a gun bearer or ammo carrier for that. May I come along?

    Comment by dick, not quite dead white guy — July 16, 2014 @ 10:24 am

  28. ^ I’ve been thinkin’ about a golf bag modification.
    (What? Well, around here, it’s less conspicuous than a cello case.)

    Comment by DougM (paleface™) — July 16, 2014 @ 1:06 pm

  29. Top Five Kids Who Eat Hot Dogs

    That’s hilarious.

    So stealing that.

    I consider every comment I write on blogs to be open source.

    Comment by Veeshir — July 16, 2014 @ 2:37 pm

  30. ^ So does the NSA.

    You’re also welcome to pass along KisP graphics (not for financial purposes, of course) as long as the attribution watermark remains intact.

    When I scarf something off the net, I try to include a link to the source. It’s not only a legal thing, but it’s just good etiquette … and a good alibi.

    Comment by DougM (paleface™) — July 16, 2014 @ 3:40 pm

  31. Looking at the list, I thought, You gotta be kidding. Nobody could be that stupid. Then I looked at the Stoned Roll page.

    Yep, they are that stupid.

    Everybody knows there’s only one really dangerous kind of gun:

    The one that shoot bullets.

    COL Jerry: Alvin York was a ” a deadly accurate shot”, with a muzzle-loader.

    Comment by ZZMike — July 16, 2014 @ 5:28 pm

  32. ^ Heeeere ya go!

    Also, there are four dangerous kinds of guns:
    Those in the hands of criminals,
    Those in the hands of tyrants,
    Those in the hands of the careless, and
    Those that haven’t been maintained.

    Comment by DougM (paleface™) — July 16, 2014 @ 5:41 pm

  33. ”the empirical evidence shows the states with the lowest gun ownership and the tightest restrictions have the fewest instances of gun violence.”

    WTF? On what planet were those statistics made up gathered?

    Comment by Ironic in Denver — July 16, 2014 @ 9:49 pm

  34. Dick 27: Sure! (Bring your own M-60, happy to have you join the fun.)

    Doug 28: Well, be sure not to play golf on whatever course King Bee happens to be playing on instead of playing president on any given day.

    How about the Purloined Letter Approach to discreet long gun carry? I’m thinking of inventing a Picatinny rail attachment that has a Green Peace flag on it; Progs who see it will think the military-type ordinance to which it is attached is an environmental flag pole, which they will salute instead of recognizing it as the thug repeller it really is.

    Comment by Ironic in Denver — July 16, 2014 @ 9:56 pm

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